Ask Me Help Desk - Why does she talk about her ex boyfriend to me?

So, as some of you may know already I met this girl at a party and she ended up giving me her number. Anyway, so like she talks to me a lot but she doesn't call much. So we've gone out once before and all and I think she is still interested just because every time I call her we talk for long periods. So I got back from work tonight and decided to give her a call to see if she can go to a party on Saturday with me. Well, the conversation started well. We were talking about a movie we both saw and were laughing and stuff. So then I asked her how she was doing lately. She said good but things could be better. So I asked what's wrong. And she started talking about how she found out a few people she knew just were diagnosed with cancer and she was close to them. Then she mentioned that she was having problems with her ex. She said that they've gone out for like a year and a half but he broke up with
Her because he thought they were going out too long and it was time to stop seeing each other, and that he doesn't even want a girlfriend right now. So a week later he gets a new girlfriend, but they try to just be friends. So she goes to his house a lot and like they give each other back rubs but nothing too dirty. Oh by the way, he still has the other girlfriend. She said that this happened some time ago, but I don't get why she has to tell me about that. I'm not her best friend or anything, just some guy that wants to date her. Is she still interested in her ex? Does she just want to be friends or does she want something more. And I didn't get the chance to ask her to the party because I got kind of side tracked with all the ex talk. Should I just forget about her and move on or what, or is she just the type that likes to open up?

Sorry for taking so long but I thought you should know the whole story.
Please help, I really like this girl and we have so much in common. Thanks

I think she might be a little hung up on the old boyfriend. She might be using you as a rebound guy. I don't think nothing more than a friendship is going to come out of this. If you really like her then go for it but I wouldn't get my hopes up.

It's because she doesn't want to date you. She's pushed you into friend zone, sorry guy!

No girl who is into a guy will unload about an ex-boyfriend. She talks to you for a long time because she sees you are a caring friends who is offering her a shoulder to cry on.

I'm sorry Glinda but that is not 100% true.
Some girls will talk and talk and talk about their ex's to the guy that they are interested in to get sympathy and stuff (I've never done it but some friends of mine have).
HOWEVER, in this case it seems like she's caught on her ex and doesn't want to let go too much. Maybe she latched onto you in hopes of your two going out. Or you might just be the rebound guy. Try asking her out on a date to see what happens. Then tell us how that went and we might be able to analyze the whole situation better.

I think she is still hung up on this dude, I believe she is living on false hope they get back together. A year and half is a long time to be dating. I would not get your hopes up. She is undateable until she get over her ex. I would just be friends with her and maybe one day when she is over her ex you can be more then friends.

Doesn't matter what she really means, she needs to learn be more careful about her words.
Talking about ex will lead you to mistake her, whether she is still have feeling for him or not, that is not smart to talk about him anyway.
I hope she thinks about others' feeling before she starts to talk about her ex again.

Thanks for the answers, they're all great. But its not like she's telling me how great her ex was. I just asked how she was doing and she basically told me that she was having problems with her ex.

So I take it they are still together, if they are I would back off at let her make a decision what she wants to do.

Either they are still together, or she is not very smart.

But the thing is they're not together, they broke up in like January. Plus he has another girlfriend.

Ask her out... be the guy, grow some balls and ask her out on a date, she's not going to ask you out... if she says no, then go on to the next, just if she says no, at least you learned some of the different signs and expressions a girl can put off... so it's a win win scenario...

Just because she talks to you on the phone for long periods, does not mean she is interested in having a relationship with you. She may just think you are really funny, or are helpful when she needs advice. Don't assume she is into you just because she talks to you whenever you call.

I think she talks to you about her ex so much because she feels you can talk to her about it and you help her through it. You don't have to be her best friend for her to open up to you and trust you with her problems. She is most likely still into her ex so don't get your hopes up, just be there for when she needs someone to talk to. In the meantime, move on and find another girl you would really enjoy dating. She is not going to get over this guy anytime soon and to her you are just a shoulder to lean on. Respect this, because you are a really good person and should feel great that she trusts you enough to come to in need of help. Don't forget about her, just forget about trying to get into a relationship with her for now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by maxima16

So, as some of you may know already i met this girl at a party and she ended up giving me her number. Anyways, so like she talks to me a lot but she doesn't call much. So we've gone out once before and all and i think she is still interested just because every time I call her we talk for long periods of time. So i got back from work tonight and decided to give her a call to see if she can go to a party on Saturday with me. Well, the conversation started out well. We were talking about a movie we both saw and were laughing and stuff. So then i asked her how she was doing lately. She said good but things could be better. So i asked whats wrong. And she started talking about how she found out a few people she knew just were diagnosed with cancer and she was close to them. Then she mentioned that she was having problems with her ex. She said that they've gone out for like a year and a half but he broke up with
her because he thought they were going out too long and it was time to stop seeing each other, and that he doesn't even want a girlfriend right now. So a week later he gets a new girlfriend, but they try to just be friends. So she goes to his house a lot and like they give each other back rubs but nothing too dirty. Oh by the way, he still has the other girlfriend. She said that this happened some time ago, but i don't get why she has to tell me about that. I'm not her best friend or anything, just some guy that wants to date her. Is she still interested in her ex? Does she just wanna be friends or does she want something more. And i didn't get the chance to ask her to the party because i got kind of side tracked with all the ex talk. Should i just forget about her and move on or what, or is she just the type that likes to open up?

Sorry for taking so long but i thought you should know the whole story.
Please help, i really like this girl and we have so much in common. Thanks

Hi. I think she is still in love with her ex-bf. Why do not you give her a chance and help her out to go over it.

Good luck