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-   -   I lost my boyfriend he passed away (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=803128)

  • Oct 17, 2014, 04:33 PM
    Ricci Powell
    I lost my boyfriend he passed away
    I lost my boyfriend the love of my life and soul mate. He went into diabetic coma Monday morning and I was laying right next to him he was gurgling on his own throw up and I rolled him over to try and help him breath. Did everything thing that I had been told to do. I heard his last heart beat and felt his last breath. He passed on the 13th of this month. I can't stop crying I keep blaming myself cause I should have made him go to the hospital when I had asked him earlier that night. I'm angry I don't want to eat. I want all this to be a nightmare. And I keep aaking God why did you take the man the one thing in my life that made me happy and safe and no worries in life Any suggestions on how to cope with it
  • Oct 17, 2014, 04:39 PM
    Alty
    I'm so very sorry for your loss.

    I won't tell you that you'll get over it, grief is forever, but it does get better with time. Blaming yourself is normal, most people do it when a loved one dies of a disease, or an accident, especially if they were there when they passed on.

    The main thing that helped me was grief counseling. I highly recommend it. There are also grief groups (you'd have to check where you live to find where they are, or if there are any in your area) where people meet and discuss their grief, their loss. These people are all going through what you're going through, and it can be very comforting to be with people that are feeling the same pain. They may also have suggestions on other groups or therapists that you can contact.

    This is still very new, and it will take time. Let yourself cry, let yourself grieve, it's part of the process. But don't deny yourself the comfort that the above mentioned things can give you.

    Good luck.
  • Oct 17, 2014, 04:46 PM
    Ricci Powell
    Thank you he was a type 1 diabetic and it kills me right now kknowing I won't see him again anytime soon I know one da I will but till then I'm lost
  • Oct 17, 2014, 04:54 PM
    Alty
    That's the hardest part, learning to live without the one you love. Like I said, it never completely goes away, but it does get easier, it really does. Right now you probably can't fathom how that's possible, but it is. One day you'll remember him and instead of crying, you'll smile at the memory.

    Do look into grief counseling. It did me a world of good. Grief groups are great too, and normally free, so I'd check into that as well.

    Good luck. :)
  • Oct 17, 2014, 08:19 PM
    joypulv
    You did what you could - you asked him to go to the hospital. You can't 'make' a grown man do something he doesn't want to do. You can call an ambulance, but it was morning before you knew how bad it was going to be. Yes I know you blame yourself, we all do in times like this. It means you are a good person. It hurts beyond belief, I know. I'm sorry. Please take Alty's good suggestions.

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