Caught my wife on Facebook
I'm a married father of two children, 1.5 and 3 years old.
On Thursday, my wife came home pass out drunk. She didn't tell me she was going out, and just came home as if she was coming from work, but basically went upstairs and passed out. Her phone beeped, and I saw a text message that read, "God how I love you". This was from a former employer she still does business with on occaision. And this guy is a complete scumbag. He's 50+ years old and basically only hires secretaries who will have sex with him, and she used to be his secretary.
For the first time in our entire relationship, I decided I needed to check up on her. She left Facebook logged in, so I went to view her messages and my worst fears were confirmed. There were a number of sexutally explict messages she'd sent to some other man.
I confronted her about it, and she immediately said it was just goofing around and it was only a couple or 3 times she'd sent this guy these messages. She kept saying 'it's just words'.
That sadly, was the beginning of a downward spiral of more lies. The next day I confronted her with another lie, that she had changed her Facebook password and continually told me the wrong one. She claimed she didn't remember, but after 20 min of denial she finally admitted she knew she was lying cause she didn't want me logging in from work (which is apparently when most of these messages are sent).
More came out, 3 or 4 messages turned into 4 weeks of multiple messages per day. Hundreds of sexually explicit messages. Again, only after denying it for hours did she finally come clean. She immediately said she went and blocked him on Facebook, but only after sending him one more 'good-bye' message which she immediately deleted so I couldn't see it (or so she claims).
Last night I left her. I went and slept in a motel. I have never felt this type of pain before. I have never spent a night away from my kids in their entire lives. I'm the one who puts them to bed, gets up in the middle of the night to handle diapers,milk,nightmares, etc. I really don't have any social life, I spend every minute I can with my kids. In hindsight that was the first clue, I had become their mother cause she was so busy on Facebook. She's been on there for 3 years now, spending countless hours while I watched the kids.
This morning I logged into her Facebook account and found another lie. She did not block him, she only defriended him. I confronted her about it and again she lied and claimed she didn't know the difference. After 10 min of denial she finally came clean and said she did know the difference, and she did not block him.
So, that's where I am today. I'm exhausted. I'm broken. I haven't eaten since Thursday, and only catch small naps before I wake up and start thinking about my kids.
Is there any hope? Hundreds of messages of graphic stuff, she tried to cover things up, and even now, after leaving her she's still lied to me about blocking this guy. She kept asking me if I want her to delete the account, she's asking me, cause she wants to keep the account, but will only delete it if I tell her to, only if our marriage depends on it.
Is there any hope? Even as I type this I'm weeping at the thought of not seeing my kids every night. No more fruit cup treats sitting on the kitchen floor, no more bed time stories, no more hugs good-bye when I leave for work. It's tearing me apart. But she can't stop lying, even now when I'm sleeping in a motel, she's still lying and covering things up. And when I catch her she keeps denying it. Her immediate instinct is to deny and lie, even when I'm pointing to the proof right in front of her face.
Is there any hope? For the sake of my kids is there any hope?
And to add to this.
She just called me because our youngest son has been crying uncontrollably and she doesn't know how to make him stop. I don't know who she is anymore. I wonder if she's making him cry just to get me to come back. The fact that I'm even considering that...