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-   -   Help! Husband in bad spot with his unit. What to do? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=784336)

  • Feb 13, 2014, 12:00 AM
    alwayssunny16
    Help! Husband in bad spot with his unit. What to do?
    My husband feels he is being unfairly treated in his unit. He's only been in the unit for six months, and they have forced him to take PT tests while he should be taking a diagnostic (it was two days after being on a no run profile for 3weeks), they have reprimanded him for following commands, his superiors act like he didn't tell them things when he did (we have text message proof) and now his first line supervisor is telling him that he has a target on his back and they want to chapter him out. He's scared for his career that just started, and he doesn't know why they're doing this or what to do. Where can we go? Is there any help for a situation like this?
  • Feb 13, 2014, 01:40 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    He has only been in a short time, had a no run profile for some reason, and most likely is trying to discuss issues, not just follow orders blindly.

    This is the military, not Walmart, he just tells them he will be a great soldier and he will make it. And then he takes and does what ever they throw at him.

    In military terms, his fellow soldiers may say to "be a man and grow a pair"

    Not what you want to hear, but that is life in military.
  • Feb 13, 2014, 02:00 AM
    alwayssunny16
    He had acute plantar fasciitis, which I understand to be something that every soldier has at one time or another. He couldn't run for a couple weeks. That would be "some reason".
    He doesn't try and discuss orders, he does follow them blindly. Which is why he got conned into taking that PT test. He is a great soldier, he works his butt off.
    Trust me, I'd be the first person to kick him in the butt if he was just being whiny. He knew what he signed up for. But I'm telling you, this is above and beyond crap rolls downhill, or just testing his back bone.
  • Feb 13, 2014, 03:13 AM
    joypulv
    What country are you in?

    Who determined that he 'should be taking a diagnostic?' Did he actually say that to an officer?
  • Feb 13, 2014, 06:55 AM
    smoothy
    There very well might be a lot more to it than you can see... others might see it as a matter of unit coheasion... just doing what's required of you... isn't all it takes... if there is the appearance of not giving 110%... it might be all it takes... we are talking nuances here, anything that can make him appear to the odd man out. It might even be something you aren't aware of... but I doubt it was just because he was on profile while having that treated and during the healing. Maybe he appeared to slack off in other ares during that period... as perceived by the others in the unit or in command. THe Military is a very differnt sort of thing to the civilian world....these guys do and have to bond in ways few siblings do as their lives can literally be in the hands of the others in the unit....as are their lives in the hands of your husband. If anything raises the slightest doubt that he could be counted on when things get tough....they will find ways to get rid of him.
  • Feb 13, 2014, 08:14 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    smoothy is correct, if he is not fitting in, and being one of the guys, he has little chance of making it. He may, but they will make it hard on him.
  • Feb 13, 2014, 08:23 AM
    talaniman
    Support your soldier, even if he does wash out of this unit and gets in another. You are hardly an objective judge of whether he toes the mark by THEIR standards or NOT. If he has an injury that retards his progress, he may well have another shot later. Injury or NOT, you have to be able to do your job, and pass every test as given, when given. For sure at this time he could not.
  • Feb 13, 2014, 08:28 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    Having done military and law enforcement, I remember my last week at the Law enforcement academy. We had spent 3 months living and training there.
    I cracked and bruised several ribs with our last week to go. That was the week with all the practical tests.

    I either took the tests and pass, or I am washed out and have to retake the 3 months of training at another date.

    I took the tests, I was in so much pain at times, I actually got in private and cried.
    That is how military life is. If he complains, or wines, (even if he has a reason to) they will pick him out. That also, separates him from others, who are now scared to even help him.
  • Jul 28, 2014, 12:35 PM
    SGTMSID
    From being in military history of family you need to tell him he needs to go to his CO and tell him what is going on and then ask if it carrys on then if he can have a transfere form that unit. It sounds like they are testing him to his braking point and the needs to knuckle down and push through it yes smoothy is right but he need support of his friends and family to get through it. Tell him he is a good soldier and he can do this and if he cant you and friends need to support him in what ever choice he make.
  • Jul 28, 2014, 05:17 PM
    smearcase
    Requesting a transfer for a new start-maybe. Going directly to the Commanding Officer with these kinds of gripes could be the final straw, at least it would have been in my US Navy days, when and where Chain of Command was gospel. As stated and or alluded to previously, his only real chance is to prove himself to be a valuable member of the team. Even a transfer request could result in a decision of the leaders that transferring a problem (if he is and I don't know that he is-just talking about a perception that may be well formed at this point)- but some interpret that moving a problem into another leader's lap- is not a good leadership practice. It was done with state government construction field technicians where I worked and it was always the easy way out, but what Sr. management really wanted was to get this "problem" to an area where the supervisors were known for dealing with problem personnel, not just ignoring and hoping that they would go away. Once again alwayssunny16, I am not talking about your husband- I know nothing of the details of his situation. Just some general principles that are in my humble opinion valid, but not foolproof, and there can always be a personality conflict between one or more members of a unit and sometimes almost impossible to overcome.

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