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-   -   Can I be placed in foster care or a group home without consent of my parents? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=813240)

  • Jun 22, 2015, 05:48 PM
    Amaris18
    Can I be placed in foster care or a group home without consent of my parents?
    Okay, so I'm 15, and right now I'm looking for away to get out of my family, and hopefully start new. For a while now I've had emotional issues. I've self harmed, been depressed, and sometimes ignored. My brother is 18, and still not out of high school, near graduating, and nor does he have a GED. My mother has a criminal background; two accounts of shoplifting, and if she is arrested again she'll go to jail for 5 to 10 years. My father is a police officer, and a lieutenant at that.
    I told my mom about myself harm and depression. All she told me was it's that it's my hormones. This may sound naïve and stupid, but my parents pour large amounts of stress onto my shoulders. They treat me at a lower standard from my brother, and often give me the IMPRESSION that I'm worthless. For a while now it's been hard, and it doesn't help that my mom is still shoplifting behind my father's back, and encouraged me in doing it too. She also disabled, and has what we call 'episodes'. During these 'episodes' she hallucinates.
    I pass my classes, try to ignore them, and put a smile on my face from day to day. I'm tired of trying, and I always seem to be in a sad state more often. I don't want put up with this anymore, I don't want to pretend like everything is okay, or face continue turning a blind eye to my family's favoritism. I know this stupid, but I need to know if I can get out of it.
  • Jun 22, 2015, 05:55 PM
    Alty
    If things are really bad in your family, ie: abuse, neglect, alcoholism, etc. then call CPS (child protective services). They'll come and assess your home, talk to you about what's going on, and if they find your parents unfit, they'll place you in foster care where you'll be just another child among many. You think you're ignored now, wait until foster care, consider yourself lucky if they even remember your name, or remember to feed you, or they don't rape you or abuse you. I have many friends that were in foster care. Not one of them thought they were lucky to be there. All of them thought they were better off with the parents that abused them, because at least there the abuse was known, expected.

    The only way to get into foster care is to prove that your parents are unfit, and to do that you have to report them, and prove that they're unfit. So first step is calling CPS.

    Good luck.
  • Jun 23, 2015, 05:12 AM
    ScottGem
    Before calling CPS I would talk to a guidance counselor at school. If you are self harming, you NEED to be seen by a professional therapist who can help you work through your issues.

    I seriously doubt if you will be taken from the home and placed in foster care. While I don't want to minimize what you are going through, it does not sound like abusive parenting. You probably need family counseling to help them understand how to help you.

    But your thinking that foster care may be an answer is way off. This is not starting new, its being dumped on someone who is caring for you for the stipend they get from the state.
  • Jun 23, 2015, 10:13 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    First no, you mom will not go to prison for years for shoplifting a third time or even a fourth time, Unless she is stealing 1000's of dollars of things, small shoplifting, of small things can at best get one year in jail, but that almost never happens even for many times.

    So you brother is 18 and still in high school, So what, that is him not you and why or how does that affect you ?

    So you think you are ignored, does not sound like ingored, merely sounds like you do not get enough attention and have tried to self harm to get some, and that did not work. In fact to be blunt, it is just stupid, since it does no good, to anyone and only makes issues worst.

    No, really with what you said, you would not be taken out of the home, Even if mom was drug user and really could go to jail for years, that does not take you out of the home, if you are physically being taken care of.

    In foster care, and esp in a group home, you would be completely ignored and guess what they all have worst issues normally than what you described.

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