I know my husband is abusive. I have four daughters, 2-11-15-17. He is 70% good and when he is bad, I hate him. But I weigh the stay or go. It would create more of a problem and upset the whole applecart to leave then to let the problem subside. I have spoken with my girls about situation at every episode, and they understand. I don't have family in our town and do not want to pull the kids out of their sports, schools, freindships... as this would be devastating to them. So we just talk till were blue in the face about everything... I tell them that their Dad is "sick" at times and they understand. I have strong kids... everyone that knows them tells me how great they are (teachers, friends, family, coaches). It has always been important to me to stay home with my kids until school age. I have only worked around their school schedule. Now that I have a 27 month old, I have been home for that long, and my kids reap the benefits of that. But when there is an incident in my home, I then avoid my husband, can't wait for him to leave for work, then I have a non-productive day weighing my options. His power is MONEY. He threatens we that he'll make my life hell if I left him, and that he would tie up all our money and assetts in lawyer fee's and I'll be left with nothing. So I stay, pray, and know that one day I will be prepared, and the time will be right. I don't get punched, nor do my kids. He acts like he could sometimes, and will clench his teeth, invade my space, finger poke me. Last night he had me in a corner in the kitchen and wrung the kitchen wash cloth onto my head. This morning we didn't talk but I noticed he pulled all the bedding off two beds. I think his point is since you are a stay-at-home mom, make the beds. I won't make his bed today. WOw, I KNOW this sounds so childish but this is what I deal with. There may be months in between, but I know another episode will come. He has episodes with the older kids, lately he'll take away kids TV, cell-phone, ground, over the littlest thing. A mountain from a molehill...
Believe me I am strong and so are my kids. I just know my husband has problems, and he does not have the tools to change. If I or my daughters challenge him though, watch out. I have trained my kids not to put gasoline on the fire. They understand but its hard with strong females. I will leave when the time is right, and if my kids get hurt------They won't... Believe me!! I know what I'm doing... It's just hard at times!! I wish there was someone out there that can understand my situation, and tell me that I REALLY DO KNOW WHAT I AM DOING!!