Husbands Suspicions Are Killing ME!
How do I deal with a husband who claims to trust me but then finds little things that "do not make any sense" and then instantly accuses me of cheating on him? My heart is truly broken and I don't know where to turn and I don't know what to do. My husband will not go to marriage counseling with me because he says "they always take the womans side" and simply feels we do not need it. We have been together for 10 years, married for 5. We have been together since we were Juniors in high school and had our first daughter at 19. We have over come so many obstacles that young couples face and handeled them tremendously well just to go through this BS now. And no, I have NEVER in our relationship been unfaithful or EVER considered cheating on my husband. I adore him and for the most part we fit each other perfectly, and if it was for these little situations we were probably never fight at all.
For awhile things were really bad. My husband would come home and hit the redial button and said there was a 3 that would show up. He would instantly conclude that this was weird and has some sort of deep meaning. Even thought he would look up my cell phone records and see that nothing was there, it was these little weird things that he freaks out about. At this time, I did what ever he wanted and let him look where ever he wanted due to my not having anything to hide. When I ask him why he doesn't trust me he says its because of my mother (who yes has a history of having many boyfriends and is on her 3rd husband). I tell him that is not fair to me and he says he knows and but he can't help it.
After awhile things started to get better he we have been doing really well up until last week. My husband called me at work (he will question me if I do not answer the phone right away or if I am away from desk and I miss his call) and we were talking when my phone beeped. I am the receptionist at my work and any calls that are left on hold too long will bounce back to my phone, causing a beep. He accused me of having my "boyfriend" on hold on the other line. During this entire time, my supervisor kept walking past my desk and listening to me on the phone. I am trying to act normal while trying to convince my husband of how my phone system works. Now he wants to go into my office when no one is there so I can prove that my phone will beep when someone else puts someone on hold too long - which is fine and I am eager to do so to prove I am right. The problem is - where does this end? What will be the next wired little thing that I have to prove? If I keep proving myself will this finally go away or am I kidding myself in thinking that? I love my husband and have every intention of spending the rest of my life with him, but is this something that can be fixed or do I deal with if forever?
I work from 9-5 and I have an hour lunch break. His sister watches our kids and I spend my lunch hour at her house with them. I live about 1 minute from my work so the latest I am home after work is literally about 5:05. He understands that I could not possibly have time to cheat yet he still does not trust me! My heart is truly broken and I love him so much that I will put up with this for as long as it takes - will that be forever or is there a way to make him trust me?