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-   -   What nice thing can I do for my girlfriend? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=799954)

  • Aug 23, 2014, 12:18 PM
    rackcity
    What nice thing can I do for my girlfriend?
    Well she's two months pregnant and her and I have not been getting along mostly cause of mood swings, etc. So I'm trying to do something nice for her to get her to enjoy herself and not be stressed out. I have some money, not rich, but... and I would do dinner but she's always been concerned about dieting etc and whenever I even make stuff at home she doesn't eat much cause she's trying to watch out for her weight. Any suggestions of some nice romantic things that I can do for her to make her happy, or places to take her?

    I'll start by cleaning the apartment, lol. She's away right now so I have a couple of hours free to orchestrate things. Thanks a bunch for yalls help.
  • Aug 23, 2014, 12:45 PM
    teacherjenn4
    I'd love it if my husband did the laundry and had some fresh flowers in a vase.
  • Aug 23, 2014, 12:47 PM
    rackcity
    I did the flowers thing the other day and the laundry already. But thanks so much for the suggestion. Well she won't let me do her laundry, only my own... apparently I don't know how to do her laundry (wash in cold water) lol.
  • Aug 23, 2014, 12:53 PM
    DoulaLC
    Helping with the cleaning is always a nice gesture. Doing it without being asked, is a plus! Maybe take her to get a pregnancy massage, or offer to give her a gentle massage at home. If she has any special treat that she likes, have some on hand. A simple, romantic card "just because" can be nice now and then.

    Just a side note on the dieting. I hope she is not overdoing it. Watching what you eat, and making healthy choices is one thing, strict dieting is not usually recommended during pregnancy as nutritional needs change.
  • Aug 23, 2014, 01:03 PM
    rackcity
    Oh yeah I think I want to get a massage thing at a spa somewhere around here. Maybe like a 30 min one or something like that. Sounds like a great idea. And for the dieting yeah sometimes she goes all out then I guess sometimes she eats whatever. I guess its just the hormones working I don't know lol
  • Aug 23, 2014, 01:53 PM
    Precious7
    During pregnancy I would love to have my feet (or where ever she wants) massaged! And may be good book to read and flowers, fluffy or soft toys, etc. :)
    All the best.
  • Aug 23, 2014, 02:06 PM
    joypulv
    Yes to the foot massage. Fold the sides of the feet in while massaging the middle of the ball of the foot with your thumbs. Gently turn the ankles around in circles. Go up her calves too, massaging the back of them. Keep rubbing the feet slowly over and over. Ask her to tell you which things feel best.

    First a very warm water soak in a big pot or bowl and a little bath soap. Have a towel ready to dry her feet when the water is cold, about 15 minutes. Don't start this until she is settled in.

    Spending money is of course nice but a foot massage at HOME, OH!
  • Aug 23, 2014, 02:46 PM
    J_9
    No to the foot massage, yes to the body massage. There are pressure points on the feet that can actually induce labor.

    How about some fragrant smelling bubble bath, body wash and lotion. A warm fragrant bath can melt away tension, and it makes a girl feel pretty.
  • Aug 23, 2014, 02:48 PM
    joypulv
    Even at 2 months?
  • Aug 23, 2014, 02:57 PM
    J_9
    That would be preterm labor. Very preterm. Here is an article that suggests massage shouldn't be done at all, especially in the first trimester.

    Pregnancy Body Massage and Contraindications
  • Aug 23, 2014, 03:15 PM
    DoulaLC
    Yep, even at two months. This is why massage at anytime in pregnancy should only be done by someone trained specifically for pregnancy massage. A nice back rub or gentle foot rub are different from general massage.

    I use a number of different pressure points for some women in labor in my doula work.
  • Aug 23, 2014, 03:17 PM
    J_9
    Joy, some pressure points cause a release of oxytocin. The labor inducing hormone. No massage should be done to a pregnant woman unless the masseuse is trained in pregnancy massage.
  • Aug 23, 2014, 03:54 PM
    Alty
    Wow! Didn't know about the massage. I went for a massage the day I found out I was pregnant with Sydney. I didn't know before I went. It wasn't until I was driving home that I thought... hey, I'm late! I got a pregnancy test on the way home and sure enough, Syd was on the way. Glad it ended well. :)

    To the OP. When I was pregnant with my first child the sweetest thing that my husband did was buy baby supplies for the new baby, and a book for me.

    He bought a rattle, some booties, a little outfit (red onesie), and a soother. That just made me feel so wonderful. We had been trying for a baby, but until he bought those little items, which he put a lot of thought into, I was feeling like I was the only one excited about the baby. When he did that, I knew he was excited too, and it me feel a lot better. The book he got was "what to expect when you're expecting", which was a great help during both pregnancies.
  • Aug 24, 2014, 07:27 AM
    joypulv
    Glad to learn!

    Pauvre petite preggies partout!
  • Sep 9, 2014, 03:44 PM
    rackcity
    Congratulations on your baby! So happy for you!! Just got a job so I'll deffo be buying some baby items. I just wish I knew the gender already lol.
  • Sep 9, 2014, 04:11 PM
    dontknownuthin
    How about a manicure? That won't induced anything. Or get her favorite movie to watch at home in the couch. Or maybe give her a book of baby names (if she would like that)to show you are in this together and with her.
  • Sep 9, 2014, 06:21 PM
    smoothy
    A wedding ring is well overdue at this point.
  • Sep 9, 2014, 11:58 PM
    Alty
    Good point Smoothy. I was married when I had my kids. Three years before I got pregnant with Jared. That's how I was raised. First you get married, then you have kids.

    Sadly that's not the way things work anymore. Nowadays most kids live with one parent, rarely see the other, or are shuffled back and forth. My kids have both told me that they're a dying breed, kids with parents that have been married for longer than they've been alive, and parents that are still together.

    I really don't get it. Why have a baby with someone you don't love enough to marry?
  • Sep 17, 2014, 09:37 AM
    rackcity
    I did pop the Question but was unfortunately told that its better to wait a few years :( Heart = broken. But she's worth it to me so... I'll wait.
  • Sep 17, 2014, 10:11 AM
    tickle
    You sound like a wonderful person to have around. Good luck to you.

    tick

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