Ask Me Help Desk - Should I be worried?

"I am trying thats all hat matters"

Unfortunately that is not correct. Babies need love, of course, and food and supplies, and they grow and need more food and supplies.

Trying doesn't put food on the table.

I trust you can work this out and not sentence your child to a life of underprivilege. He will have enough problems in life due to the father you have picked for him.

EDIT: Good that you can go "home" - this is no longer the situation? "my dad and i are no close anymore do to of things i did in the past and my mom lives in a city i will not raise my son in and my moms side of the family but my nan and a few cousins i have are bad people and i love the place i am at its beautiful peaceful and safe, i don' want to leave the place im at but i don't know how to handle my boyfriend and his mom"

I see a lot of issues here.

You're a child, and the man that you chose to father your child is acting like a child. You're both acting like exactly what you are, children, too young to be parents.

You complained that you had to clean, cook, that you had no time for yourself. Welcome to motherhood. It will be a lot more work once baby comes along. You're the mom, you'll have to do all the cleaning, and all the cooking, and all the shopping, doctors appointments, dentist appointments, school appointments, etc. etc. It's the hardest job you'll ever have, and it's 24/7 for at least 18 years, sometimes more. You think you're tired now? Wait for it.

I don't think you should stay with the father of this child, but I do think you need a wake up call. Moving back in with your father won't fix everything. You're still having a baby, and it's up to you to find some way to support that baby, and take care of that baby. Trying isn't enough, you have to do, not try. Love isn't enough either.

I don't think you have the first clue what it's going to be like when the baby is here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by worry_momma

I am trying thats all hat matters

No that is not all that matters. And the fact that you think it is shows how clueless you are. Do you have any idea what a newborn costs? Do you have insurance to cover your doctor visits and the hospital?

So you go back to school. What's going to happen when your friends ask you to go out on a Friday night and you can't because you have a baby to take care of.

You need to grow up now because you clearly are not grownup enough to care for a baby.

I am sorry but I feel like I am being attacked on here and just saying everyone has a way to take care of their kids everyone is different so thanks

Don't feel that way because everyone wants you and your child to be happy as if you were our own daughter.

Quote:

Originally Posted by worry_momma

I am sorry but i feel like i am being attacked on here and just saying everyone has a way to take care of their kids everyone is different so thanks

When you grow up I hope you come back, read this thread again. When you do, in around 7 years, you'll have a much different outlook than you do now.

You can't see the forest for the trees. I don't expect you to, you're 17, you have no idea what it takes to be a mother, you're not even an adult yet. You're still a child. You probably think that it will all be so easy, the baby will never cry, it will do whatever you say, whatever you want, it will love you, and all will be right with the world.

The reality is, this baby will scream night and day if it wants to. A mothers touch, when a baby is upset, does nothing. You will be woken up every few hours (if you're lucky) to feed and change the baby. It doesn't matter if you're tired, you have to get up and take care of this child you created. Babies don't love, they're the most selfish creatures on the face of this Earth. It will rebel, just like you did, it will yell at you, and at least once in its life it will tell you how much it hates you. Not only do you have to deal with all of that, for 18 plus years, no holidays, no coffee breaks, 24/7, you also get to pay at least $12,000 to give birth to this baby (more if something goes wrong), you get to spend thousands on a crib, a car seat, a high chair, a stroller, clothes, bottles, formula, food, diapers, etc. etc. etc.

Being a mother is a full time job. Actually, a full time job is only 5 days a week 8 hours a day, so that's a lie. Being a mother is 24/7 18 plus years. It's the hardest job you'll ever have, and even with a husband to help, a father in the picture, it's hard.

Are you prepared for all of this? I don't think you are.

You can have whatever parenting style you want, but the basics are the law. You must put a roof over this child's head, you must provide a safe place to live, food, clothes, an education, medical care, dental care. What we're telling you has nothing to do with your parenting style, it has to do with what a parent must provide their child, not what they want to provide.

What you consider "attacking" is actually educating you on reality. The fact that you think we're attacking you, says a lot about how ready you are for this child.

The first thing you need to do is leave the place you're in. See if you can go to your dad's then think about what has been said. This won't be easy. You need a support system either way and right now you don't have one. We wish you well here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by worry_momma

I am sorry but i feel like i am being attacked on here and just saying everyone has a way to take care of their kids everyone is different so thanks

You aren't being attacked, you are being told the facts of life. Facts that you refuse to accept. We care about you and more importantly we care about the innocent child you are bringing into the world.

As Alty said, in a few years, you will realize how right we are. Hopefully it won't be too late. It would be better for your child if you accept what we say now.

"I am sorry but i feel like i am being attacked on here and just saying everyone has a way to take care of their kids everyone is different so thanks"

You aren't being attacked. Your actions in having a child when you seem unable to care for yourself are being attacked. You appear to have been "uninvited" from your family home due to your issues; your boyfriend's mother is giving you issues; he's giving you issues.

You keep dancing through the daisies and don't see the reality here.

The fact that you don't even acknowledged what is being said to you is being attacked.

And you are attached to this abusie man for the rest of your life.

An attack would be asking what you were possibly thinking, getting pregnant at 17 with what appears to be minimum education. How are you going to support this child when your Dad throws you out again?