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  • Oct 18, 2006, 03:06 PM
    Pregancy and a breakup
    After almost 2 years my boyfriend recently broke up with and today I found out I'm pregnant. I don't want to do this alone I want us to be together and I don't know what to do. I'm keeping the baby. But I'm so scared.
  • Oct 18, 2006, 03:10 PM
    Jasmine, Welcome to AMHD. I hope we can help you.

    I understand you do not want to do this alone, but understand that you may have to.

    How long ago did you guys break up? Have you told him yet? How old are you?

    I know this is hard, but you can do it.
  • Oct 18, 2006, 04:01 PM
    I once said to myself drop the baby and run... I did not.. for I had some one with me that day... my grand mother in the spirit... If I did not take care of the baby then no one else would…I was scared that day… I had to exit the hospital with my first child... If I did not love the baby no will... this was my glorious beautiful son... that I did not name... I had to remember that my son was loved the first sight by his grand father in- law... I was knocked out at the time... when I woke up…my baby was named…

    Call your parents and tell them you need their support... or call a caring relative and say you need their love and support... I had no one but the spirit of my grandmother with me that day...

    I loved being pregnant... that round big belly and... my son was moving all the time... I just loved him so much... that was why I could not believe that I could ever make a thought so challenging as the one that came through that day…I was scared and it never leaves me…that fear that I am doing something wrong…

    ... from that day forth nothing this boy can do could hurt for he is my love... he is the reason why I hold on every day... he treats other women with respect…because he loves his mother…how I know …they tell me so...

    Give your attention to this life …yes hold the father responsible…prove the child is his…create an order of support…get a lawyer or go to social services…Only contact him when it is time for your doctor’s visit…he does have a right to know…leave him alone for a while…only contact him for emergency issues…it is up to him rather he wants to return to you...

    I am telling you this story because most women are scared of doing this alone…I was married and I had to do this alone…I had no one to talk to about being scared…If I made that statement that I am scared to anyone it would have been a sign of weakness...

    I have no desire to scare you about child birth…it is a wonderful moment in woman’s life…he will regret not being there for his child… and enjoying this wonderful experience
  • Oct 18, 2006, 04:21 PM
    Does he know? How long ago did you guys break up?
  • Oct 19, 2006, 08:44 AM
    He knows and we broke about a week ago.
  • Oct 19, 2006, 10:02 AM
    Unfortunately, I think you need to accept that he does not want to continue the relationship. Having a baby together is no reason to get back together. It will be unhealthy for you and the baby. I agree with Luna to contact your parents or a close relative & get help from them. If you are not financially ready to take care of a baby - contact social services. Just concentrate on the positive things - your baby in your belly is a true gift from God - try to enjoy it. Save your money! Make sure you get child support once the baby comes. It will be OK. Make sure you also get prenatal care for yourself and the baby.

    And Please Please Please don't be scared. You WILL be just fine. Concentrate on being healthy & independent. If he already knows that your pregnant & didn't immediately try to reconcile your relationship - then I wouldn't want him. Think of it this way (He did you a favor - you don't want to be in a relationship with someone that doesn't want to be with you) Start to make a life for yourself.

    I don't know how old you are - or your background. But remember that you have 9 months to get your life in order. You could go back to school to make a better life for you and your baby. You could try not to spend a lot in the next 9 months & put some savings back. There may even be some kind of support group for single expectant mothers. It will be OK!

    And if your scared about giving birth - that's the EASY part! I have a 3 year old now - & my whole birth experience was the most beautiful thing I ever experienced.

    May God Bless You & Help You Make the Right Decisions for You & Your Unborn Baby

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