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    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,761, Reputation: 5426
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    #41

    Jul 3, 2013, 12:27 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by none12345 View Post
    Anything is possible. There is no proof that your orientation is genetics. I think it is a choice and when it is a choice, you can always choose the other side if you want to.
    How old were you when you made a choice?
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    none12345 Posts: 1,439, Reputation: 234
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    #42

    Jul 3, 2013, 12:28 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    How old were you when you made a choice?
    I never had to make the choice. I'm not gay. It was just my opinion on it.
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    #43

    Jul 3, 2013, 12:29 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by none12345 View Post
    I never had to make the choice. I'm not gay. It was just my opinion on it.
    But you could choose to be gay now, right?
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    #44

    Jul 3, 2013, 12:38 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    But you could choose to be gay now, right?
    I can choose it but it wouldn't be right because that's not how I really feel. Similarly the guy can choose to be straight if he wanted to.

    The thing is with this situation, you can never know when things can change. Who's to say that this guy wouldn't really like this girl had he took the time to know her.

    I have a gay friend who was straight before and was in a good relationship and now she just turned gay. If you can turn one way, you can turn the other.
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    #45

    Jul 3, 2013, 12:44 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by none12345 View Post
    I can choose it but it wouldnt be right because that's not how i really feel. Similarly the guy can choose to be straight if he wanted to.
    Being gay or straight isn't like turning on and off the dining room light.

    It wouldn't be right for a gay to be straight just like it wouldn't feel right for you to be gay.

    I'm guessing the people you are talking about are teens who are experimenting with their sexuality.
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    #46

    Jul 3, 2013, 12:49 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Being gay or straight isn't like turning on and off the dining room light.

    It wouldn't be right for a gay to be straight just like it wouldn't feel right for you to be gay.

    I'm guessing the people you are talking about are teens who are experimenting with their sexuality.
    I guess they were teens when they were experimenting but now they are grown ups who are openly gay. I guess I don't exactly have the expertise, but it made sense to me logically. If a gay guy really likes a girl, I don't see any reason why he wouldn't turn straight for her.
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    #47

    Jul 3, 2013, 12:51 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by none12345 View Post
    If a gay guy really likes a girl, i don't see any reason why he wouldnt turn straight for her.
    It doesn't work that way.

    So if you really like another guy, you will then turn gay?
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    #48

    Jul 3, 2013, 01:12 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    It doesn't work that way.

    So if you really like another guy, you will then turn gay?
    Probably not. I just don't feel that way toward guys. Maybe I am just not as open minded as some people. I guess it all depends on the individual as love can come in all sort of ways. In theory, it should be possible though and it does not mean that she has absolutely no chance with this guy. She will never know if she doesn't make an effort.
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    #49

    Jul 3, 2013, 01:15 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by none12345 View Post
    Probably not. I just don't feel that way toward guys.
    And my lesbian sil didn't feel that way toward guys either.

    If a guy is attracted to a girl, he is either straight or maybe bisexual. It has nothing to do with being open minded.
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    talaniman Posts: 53,882, Reputation: 10852
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    #50

    Jul 3, 2013, 01:29 PM
    There's this guy I have feelings for, but not too long ago I found out he was gay. It really did make me sad and disappointed but I'm wondering if there's any chance he can turn straight or at least bisexual?
    Ask him, and then you will know. Nobody can predict or define another human.
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    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,910, Reputation: 751
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    #51

    Jul 3, 2013, 02:02 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by none12345 View Post
    I can choose it but it wouldnt be right because that's not how i really feel. Similarly the guy can choose to be straight if he wanted to.

    The thing is with this situation, you can never know when things can change. Who's to say that this guy wouldnt really like this girl had he took the time to know her.

    I have a gay friend who was straight before and was in a good relationship and now she just turned gay. If you can turn one way, you can turn the other.
    A person can have a relationship or sexual experience that is inconsistent with their sexual identity. So there are married gay men who have whole lives, kids and so on with wives, and lesbian women in the same situation. This doesn't mean they changed from one orientation to another but that they tried to live a conventional married life. Usually these marriages have a lot if infidelity and/or end in divorce. If a guy is out, the main motivation to try to live straight... to keep being gay a secret... dies not exist.

    I see no future for you to have this guy as a boyfriend in a relationship you can trust, but he could be a great friend if you date other men and don't let this guy fill that void.
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    N0help4u Posts: 19,825, Reputation: 2035
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    #52

    Jul 3, 2013, 05:02 PM
    Dontknownuthin is right. I don't know any gay that turned straight because they got interested in someone of the opposite sex. People can only change because its on their heart. The op can not wish or try to make him decide to want her.
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    #53

    Jul 3, 2013, 05:41 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    People can only change because its on their heart.
    Sexual orientation? I think not.
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    #54

    Jul 4, 2013, 04:12 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    Dontknownuthin is right. I don't know any gay that turned straight because they got interested in someone of the opposite sex. People can only change because its on their heart. The op can not wish or try to make him decide to want her.
    Actually OP can try to make him decide to want her. But that doesn't mean she will succeed.

    Also, I know a few people who were gay but wanted to be straight. They ended up going to church, praying for the strength and ended up having a wife and children.
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    #55

    Jul 4, 2013, 04:15 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by none12345 View Post
    Actually OP can try to make him decide to want her. But that doesnt mean she will succeed.

    Also, I know a few people who were gay but wanted to be straight. They ended up going to church, praying for the strength and ended up having a wife and children.
    Wondergirl will tell you different. As I was saying none1234, I have seen the same but it has to be the person who decides to change. I just don't think the OP should waste her time on wishful dreaming and end up hurt.
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    #56

    Jul 4, 2013, 04:18 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    Wondergirl will tell you different. As I was saying none1234, I have seen the same but it has to be the person who decides to change. I just don't think the OP should waste her time on wishful dreaming and end up hurt.
    Agreed.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,882, Reputation: 10852
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    #57

    Jul 4, 2013, 04:30 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by none12345 View Post
    Actually OP can try to make him decide to want her. But that doesnt mean she will succeed.

    Also, I know a few people who were gay but wanted to be straight. They ended up going to church, praying for the strength and ended up having a wife and children.
    I know many who went that route too, and are divorced and with same sex partners. You never know where attractions lead without taking a risk, and that goes for anyone no matter the sexual orientation. Gay, bi, or straight people get hurt in love all the time.
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    ChihuahuaMomma Posts: 7,378, Reputation: 608
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    #58

    Jul 4, 2013, 04:34 PM
    I think this is one of those things that will be always debated. Sexual orientation is not a choice. Asking someone to BE someone that they are not is not healthy and will ALWAYS backfire in a strongly negative way.
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    Wondergirl Posts: 37,761, Reputation: 5426
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    #59

    Jul 4, 2013, 05:10 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    Wondergirl will tell you different. As I was saying none1234, I have seen the same but it has to be the person who decides to change. I just don't think the OP should waste her time on wishful dreaming and end up hurt.
    Sure, a gay guy can date and marry a woman (ask me about high school and college guys I knew, back when homosexuality was a no-no), but if he is truly gay and not bi, that marriage will eventually fail and he will finally be true to who he really is.

    If a gay person "decides to change," it is superficial because of some kind of social or religious pressure.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,882, Reputation: 10852
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    #60

    Jul 4, 2013, 05:27 PM
    Sexuality is but a small part of a persons character.

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