I would like to know what other people think . Was it up to me to find out what they want to in the delivery room .or should they have let me know what was going to happen at the time of delivery.

I'm not sure I understand you. Can you give more details please?

When I showed up to be with my son and his girl friend for they delivery .I was kick out of the room only her mom and sister got to stay there..

That was her choice. Not every woman feels comfortable with everyone seeing her spread out for the world to see at such a vulnerable time.

I frequently have to escort family members from my delivery rooms because my patients only want certain family members present for the actual delivery.

I wouldn't take it personally that she didn't want you in the room. I have yet to deliver a baby but I'm not sure I would want my boyfriend's mother there regardless of how much I respect her.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by southamerica

i wouldn't take it personally that she didn't want you in the room. I have yet to deliver a baby but i'm not sure i would want my boyfriend's mother there regardless of how much i respect her.

---

Ditto!!

I under stand that but to let me show up to be there and not a word form my son when they knew this is what they want . Would not have showed up until they were done, and in her room

But you repect her enough to talk with her right

I still would not take it personally. I asked that my mother-in-law leave the room when I delivered 3 of my children. She understood completely, and I love this lady with all my heart!

And her sister video tape the whole delivery .

Lucky sister. We don't allow videotaping at the facility I work at.

Can you ask your son if you can watch the video?

She lied to them.

Who lied to who?

rockhounder-If you're feeling put out because you didn't get to watch the delivery, I really would try to not take that personally. I don't believe that decision is based on lack of respect or care for you.

If you're feeling put out because they didn't tell you prior to the delivery, while it may be frustrating to not know beforehand-I would think that your son and his girlfriend had more on their minds (i.e. the upcoming delivery) and not having that conversation with you was an oversight rather than deliberate disrespect.

Try not to let it affect you too much because the bigger picture here is that you now have a grandbaby and I'm sure they want you around!

I wish it was that easy

I think you're expectations - both of being in the delivery room, and of being informed of their "plans" are very strange. This is not a social occasion.

Even if you're invited to the hospital, the obvious is that you stay in the waiting room unless you're specifically asked to come into the delivery room.

I wouldn't have wanted my own mother present while I delivered my babies, let alone my husband's. Everyone is different of course, but not for me.

Now thinking back to when I was delivering those babies, was social etiquettte top of the list of my priorities? Err no. If you can't be a little selfish and focus on your own needs when giving birth when can you?

As for planning in advance. Maybe she had different assumptions to you as to what would happen, or maybe she didn't know how she would feel.

My sister asked me to stay and support her for the birth of her third child. I was with her until she got to the actual point of delivery, at which point she asked me to leave the room and send her husband in. She felt I could support her better up to that point but that she wanted him there for the finale. This was what she wanted and it was therefore absolutely right that she said so.

My own kids are adults now and I will be happy to be involved as much or as little as they want. A mother giving birth needs the understanding and co-operation of all involved.

Please stop feeling you missed out on something and start enjoying being a grandma. Sorry if this sounds harsh but the birth wasn't about you, whereas helping a wonderful new person along in the world by being part of a supportive and loving family is a role you can relish.