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-   -   How can I make my mom love me? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=577365)

  • May 20, 2011, 05:57 PM
    jessi249
    How can I make my mom love me?
    My mother has always said that I am the worst of my sisters, I have the worst attitude, I'm a good daughter and that I hate her. I never told her that I hated her and I don't know why she assumes this. I have always tried to get her to love me like she loves one of my sisters. I know she is her favorite, even though my mom says she has none. She treats her so nice and calls her the youngest of the family because she swears that I stole my sister's chilhood away. Its not my fault they had me a year after my sister. No matter what I do I always do something wrong. I have a really high average, take ap classes, do sports, have a job and yet I don nothing right, while my sister just hangs out & gets 70s in school. I feel like I can't talk to anyone and I'm afraid that by the time I leave for college in a year she still won't love me or have the mother-daughter relationship I wish I could have with her. Her resentment has made want to go to college all the way out west, hoping that she will miss me or show some sort of care for me. Am I doing something wrong to her ?
  • May 20, 2011, 06:17 PM
    Alty

    Have you ever told her how you feel? Not in anger, but sitting down and having a heart to heart?

    Obviously she's capable of love. I'm sure she loves you. Maybe she doesn't realize that she's playing favorites.

    Talk to her about it.
  • May 26, 2011, 02:58 PM
    0rphan
    Hi jessi, every mother at some time or another plays one child against another, I remember it well in my childhood, it's just something that mothers do, there is nothing meant by it, it's just a mother venting irritation over a bad day or some other problem that perhaps she can't solve.Unfortunately she seems to pick on you, probably because you give a reaction which is what she needs to releave her stress.

    This will not mean that she doesn't love you, in fact quite the opposite,she is probably the first one to praise you up to all the neighbours,friends and family, you just don't hear about it.

    It may appear that your sister is the favourite, but your mother will love you all equally, you are all her children.


    Try and get some time alone with your Mum, maybe go to the shops together, buy her a bunch of flowers as a surprise,because you think that you are not loved it has filled you with resentment giving you attitude, which is understandable,why not try and change that, ignore what you think may be favourites,try the nice approach for a while and be nice to your Mum and sister,I am sure they won't know how to react.See how long you can keep this up, how much better it might get,they can't actually have ago at you for being nice, you Mum will see you in a different way and I imagine your sister may get angry because she won't be getting her own way so much...

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