Why don't they try and be friends with me for the grandkids they act like you're a stranger won't answer phone calls or emails

Oh, Grandma, you definitely have a problem! It's every grandparent's worst nightmare. The kids split up, and you wind up without any rights and on the outside looking in at your grandchildren. Why don't you try snail mail? Buy a couple of really nice cards and send one to your daughter-in-law asking (politely) if she could possibly see her way clear to letting you visit with the grandkids now and then. Do yourself a favor and have a close friend read the words you intend to write and give you an honest criticism of them, rewrite them if necessary, and approve them before you put them in ink on a card. When we get emotional, we sometimes say things badly, and you don't want to add fuel to the fire.

I'm sure she thinks she has her reasons, and I'm sure most of them are tied up with anger at your son and the way things ended. She might, however, be willing to set up at least a regular phone call so you can talk to the children. If there's anything you've done (be honest, now) to anger her in the past, this is a good time to apologize and try to mend fences for the sake of the grandchildren.

Meanwhile, send the children cards and gifts for the holidays and their birthdays and hope that over time you will have a chance to rebuild your relationship with them. My heart truly is with you in this.

Good luck!

I know how you must be feeling,my daughter is married with two children her husband does not like me or her father and I don't know why we have helped them when they have had no money,taken them on holiday looked after the kids when they have wanted a night out, we do not interfer in there relationship but we have always been there for them if they need us, at xmas things did not go well when we went to see them and the kids,he made us feel so uncomfortable we got the feeling he didn't want us there, I mentioned this to my daughter since then she has said that her family unit cinsist of him her and the kids and she is not interested in anyone else, I've tried emailing her wrote letters phoned sent the kids parcels birthday cards she never replies.they still go to visit his mother but never come to see us, I love my daughter and the gran kids, it breaking my heart,I hope some day we will once again be back to how we were