Anaca Posts: 1, Reputation: 1 New Member   #1 Sep 20, 2010, 12:06 PM

What do you think about my story? Please help me arrange it so it can flow better. Th Ok, so far her paraplegic brother, the mystical African Jewelry, and Barbara are crucial to the plot. Tic Toc Tic Toc It was already midnight. And the countdown had begun. For six years, Tania had been waiting for that day with great anticipation. And now, less than twenty-four hours away, the fatigue was outweighing her urges to celebrate. Tania was used to handling high amounts of stress, but lately she had been exhausted. Between studying for finals, research papers, and caring for her paraplegic brother, Tania’s body was worn-out, and it was starting to retaliate. Hopefully after the ceremony, she would be able to get some rest, relax, retreat, take better care of her body and finally find the time to enjoy her newly decorated sanctuary. Her bedroom had always been her asylum and Tania had just recently switched its theme from a serene forest to more like a midnight breeze. That room was her ideal relaxation zone but she hadn’t found the time to exploit its beauty yet. The designer’s goal was to make everyone that walked in feel like they’ve immediately entered into a fantasy place. “When you walk into your bedroom Ms Tania, I want you to feel like you’re on the beach. I want all your troubles slip away-at least momentarily.” He had told her. He sure kept his words. The offspring of his imagination was enough to take anyone’s breath away. The sand-colored furniture he prescribed made it feel like she was actually in that scene. The pieces were arranged beautifully and they weren’t all cluttered together. No television. No radio. No distraction. The only accessories she had were vases, marbles, paintings, a few books, and a bowl of decorative blue rocks. The rest of the house was big enough for all the other crazy and exotic decorative pieces. But even though her luxurious house was very well organized and she had multiple walk-in closets, that night she made sure she got everything ready, close to sight just in case she woke up too late on her special day. Normally, she didn’t wear any jewelry, but she was going to make an exception on that particular day. A couple of years earlier, one of her classmates by the name of Barbara Africana had given her a nice set of authentic tribal African jewelry. Tania valued the gift and, in fact, as a sign of gratitude and appreciation, she promised to wear it on one of the most out-of-the-ordinary days in her life. It seemed like that day had come, seeing that the extremely exhausted Tania was trying on the set for the first time. They were made of dark brown wood. “Shela, this is a powerful set with all the elements that can help vivify your inner mysticism. This symbolizes our connection to the earth and to each other,” her African comrade told her when she had given Tania the jewelry set. There were something exceptional about this young lady, but Tania couldn’t pinpoint what it was. If it was meant to be, one day she eventually would find out about Barbara’s uniqueness. As she was sitting on the lounger, she closed her eyes and she subliminally started thinking about some of the deepest conversations she used to have with the extremely smart and culturally adept Barbara; and just like that Tania fell into a soothing sleep on the lounger.

Reply

Anaca

View Public Profile

Find latest posts by Anaca

Check out some similar questions!