I know that many people feel that they are the "unfavored" child, but in my case I know that I am. My mother has told me how she doesn't like me, and my brothers (they are about 8 years younger than me) both have noticed that my mother doesn't like me. I recently had to move back in with my mom, because I had nowhere to go with my child. The only reason she let me move in is because my step-father forced her to do so. When she kicked me out at 13 years old she stopped talking to me (I was kicked out so that she could move in with my now step-dad). I just recently started talking to her again when I had my son almost two years ago. So when I look around my mother's house there are pictures of my brothers at all ages on every wall in the house, however there is only one picture with me in it and it is a family picture (this is a constant reminder that she doesn't really care for me as she has thousands of pictures of me in a box in storage). My relationship with my mother has created many problems into my adult life (including some time spent in a mental hospital). I am just now starting to realize that most of my depression stems from the love I lack from my mom. I wanted to find out if anyone has any ideas on how to overcome this, so that I can function and be a better parent to my son then she was to me.

Is there any possibility to move on your own? Social Assistance perhaps?

I don't think your mother would change any time soon, and I don't think being in that type of environment would be good for your child or for yourself.

Sarah

Unfortunately, I can't move out at this point (I lost my job) since I'm having trouble finding another income source. I will move out after a few months, but I have to find a job first (since I am not getting child support from my son's father). However, even if I move out I feel I will still want the motherly compassion. I really just want to know how to cope and not let it affect other aspects of my life. Also, the section 8 for my county has a wait list of two years, so by the time I get it I will make too much money (I am about to graduate as an X-Ray Tech in Feb).

This is sad, but it does happen to some of us. The best thing you can do is realize that the problem belongs to your Mom.

It's hard to live with it every day. The photos are hers, so are the walls. Her attitude towards you is skewed because of something wrong with the way she thinks about you.

Be a good Mom to your Son and a good Sister and stepdaughter. Be respectful of her. If you can get free counseling, that would be good. Move out when you can. Hang on till then.

Society tell us that maternal love transcends all. Bull. My Mom hated me for several years and didn't get me presents or even acknowledge me on Holidays or birthdays. I still have some fear when a holiday comes around. That's my issue. Her issues are hers.

Your mother doesn`t realise what she is doing to you, she is pushing you away when you want to be closer, just sit down and talk to her and explain to her how feel and how you felt in the past, explain how you don`t want your child growing up with that kind of tension around him/her, and if she doesn`t change her ways stay with a relative that will accept you and does respect and appreciate you.

I hope this helps. Xxxxxxxxxxx

Let me see she kicked you at 13 so she could have a man instead.

That says it all right there, she never wanted to be a mother to you and why you even want or care about a relationship with her.

You use her for a place to live, Make plans to move out ASAP and know that just giving you birth does not make her a mother

Sweetie, I feel your pain. My mother treated me like growing up because I was constant reminder of my father since he use to beat her, I was offen neglect beated, and when I tried to kiss her, I would get rejected. It hurts like hell. I understand your pain and it has affected me in all relationships that I've being in, if I get cheated on, lie, mistreated it feels like I deserve it because my own mother treated me, but the funny thing now is that she tries to kiss me now and I can't plus it feels weird to kiss her. I love her but I have so much resentment towards her, I would suggest that you leave a.s.a.p because it's unhealthy. I'll keep you in prayer.

Your mother is the way that she is, and I doubt that you can change her. But, you can change your attitude to her. It's about lowering your expectations and not expecting the love you'll never get.

As simoneaugie says, it's her problem. Don't make it yours by expecting something of her that she has no capacity to give. Sure it hurts. Deal with the hurt and see her for what she is - selfish, flawed and human.

Don't blame her for who you are - you now have a choice to become what you want to be. Yearning for her love and blaming your depression on her is not sustainable in the long term. Take charge of your thoughts and your life.

Start to believe that you are worthy of receiving and giving love, even if you believe that your mother doesn't love you.