Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    ilovemuffins's Avatar
    ilovemuffins Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #41

    Dec 11, 2011, 11:21 PM
    Wow this was posted a very long time ago but a similar thing happened to me...
    My brother molested be and abused me as a child and would make me cry, then he would make me laugh and he would apologize and make me promise not to tell. It was almost like a game...
    Anyway this has not been an issue for years. But now with the new living arrangements, I find it so hard to get away from his presence that I am always feeling angry and disgusted.
    As well, he recently told me that since he cannot physically harm me, he has been trying his best to 'break something' inside of me.. meaning emotionally. When he told me this all of the pieces just fell into place and I knew that there was something seriously wrong with him and that I was being abused.
    So I really understand how you feel and I am glad to see that you are making progress.
    xanadu091's Avatar
    xanadu091 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #42

    Apr 11, 2012, 06:11 PM
    Confront him directly. If he ever has kids in the future threaten that you will arrange for the same thing he did to you to be done to them if he doesn't break down in apology in front of your face

    Pay some yobs to beat him out the blue.

    Thing is you need to see him break down. You need to see his weak side.

    Alternatively you can forgive and forget and see yourself as a separate thing from all that has happened to you. Separate the act and your worth. You want acknowledgement, payback and to blow off steam the above suggestions are the best thing. Alternatively arrange to have his closest friends know. Keep your family out of it.. devise a lie... fake an old diary entry.. bring up some ex schoolmate you can use as a fake witness.. act it all out in front of the family. See how brother will look. If you can get an ex primary school mate who is a woman (with a brother) to help you act the scenario out in your family living room, it would be gold.

    There are many things you can do. Depends on what you want and how committed you are.

    I suggest watching this video too

    http://www.ted.com/talks/sunitha_krishnan_tedindia.html
    xanadu091's Avatar
    xanadu091 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #43

    Apr 11, 2012, 06:13 PM
    Counselling sucks lol if you want to skype my add is jean_091. Hit me up!
    xanadu091's Avatar
    xanadu091 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #44

    Apr 11, 2012, 06:15 PM
    * take boxing lessons too.. eating disorder is about control and self punishment. Don't do it. And your family is like.. it's a unit.. it's a system. And believe me I know what its like to be under the public eye. I come from a society that's kind of like LA. So I know exactly what you mean. I've encountered fragmentation within my family and all kinds of that I could not see a counsellor about
    xanadu091's Avatar
    xanadu091 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #45

    Apr 11, 2012, 06:19 PM
    * learn to set boundaries. Change the pattern of communication. If walking around with headphones helps you detach, do it. Go somewhere/do something that will make you feel needed and acknowledged. e.g. volunteer in suicide hotline.. or as assistant whatever in a nursery.. get in touch with nature, old people, young people, disabled people.. you need somewhere free of judgement and a place where you can start anew and be "real". By which I mean be "who you are". Start a blog, paint, draw, read.. know your emotions.. don't bury yourself.. don't let your feelings out in a destructive way. See wisdom in your experience. Vow to be a pillar of strength to those who have had a similar past to you.. you can now see yourself as part of the minority in terms of empathy, sensitivity and all that.. so cultivate that. Learn to be tolerant and loving.. the power of love is greater than the power of rage. Though we need to rage first sometimes. Lol
    101me's Avatar
    101me Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #46

    May 18, 2012, 07:24 AM
    I wish this post wasn't so old. I have gone through the same thing with my brother and feel this exact way right now. That is how I found this post. I am searching for a way to make the pain go away and not upset my family. It is a horrible place to be and unless you are in it you can' t understand it. I hope you are able to read this and respond. I would like to see what you did and if it helped. Thanks
    terri4444's Avatar
    terri4444 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #47

    Aug 25, 2012, 07:33 AM
    My brother abused me also. I never told. I was also abused by a much older cousin. I never told about that either. One day.. while my dad was on his death bed.. my brother decided to bring it upon himself to tell my dying dad about my cousin abusing me! HE told my dad... not me. (and I would NEVER have told my dad such a stressful thing while he was so sick.) once my brother saw my dads heart breaking reaction to this news.. my brother than decided to toss in.. "well i was abused by him too" (meaning our cousin had abused my brother as well.. which I know not to be true!! ) just to play the sympathy card. Yet my brother never outted himself!! This upset me SO much! More that he told my dad this secret and it wasn t his place to tell plus how selfish to tell a dying man something so awful! But to continue to protect himself? Like it never happened? Just to state.. I am now 40. He is 46. Cousin is 52. This started when I was maybe 6? Until about 13? So... they both knew better. I told my mom about my brother yesterday. She refuses to talk to me. I finally told because he now lives in my parents house and I am not able to go see my mom or visit my dads ashes without him being there.. and he continuously verbally bashes me. Bosses us all around. Is always drunk. Tried to feed his girlfriend one yr old baby beer the other day out of a glass bottle! He is big (6'6" and about 300#) everyone fears him! He continues to rule everyone by intimidation! You need to TELL TELL TELL! Anyone! Carrying that weight around has destroyed my soul. We will never know who we were meant to be because these molesters have altered our destiny so :( tell... I feel so much better today. Because I told. All my family believes me.. except my mom. She is more interested in protecting my brother and fearing him. But that's on her and him. They have to live with all that. As for me/ I am FREE :) good luck to you all!
    beaglelvr's Avatar
    beaglelvr Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #48

    Sep 17, 2012, 04:55 AM
    Was molested by my brother as a child. Tol my parents. Now my husband, children and I are no longer welcome at my parents house for holidays while my brother and his family are still invited. My brother acknowledged the abuse to my parents when I confronted him, so it is not a question of them thinking I am lying.
    The hurt is unbearable.
    iminlove26's Avatar
    iminlove26 Posts: 26, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #49

    May 24, 2013, 08:28 AM
    Well I have a same story like you. I'm a guy Well I was molested & raped and used by 2 of my cousin brother and that to for a period of 4 yrs from when I was 11 yrs old to such extent that if I was a gal I would get pregnant. I feel so terrible as I have turned secrectly gay now and cannot get attraction towards gals atall. Done by my cousins!! Its at least forgivable, but dear. I really cannot fathom that you own brother biological did this to you. That's very bad. Why don't you take action regarding this or get yourself into a forum with counseller if your brother had remorse of what he did to you. Understand that he must have done it in the adoloscent age as things get curious. But definitely this is sad and heart breaking stuff.. you need to get a counseller immediately. If not helpful then let me know. Dear.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search


Check out some similar questions!

I was molested as a child, would it still be right to tell my parents? [ 34 Answers ]

Hi My name is Sarah, When I was a little girl, about 4 my mother moved in with her boyfriend "Brian". Things were all right at first but as time passed on he began to abuse me physically and mentally when my mother was at work. He would mostly beat on my older brother who stood up for himself....

Boyfriend was molested as a child. [ 21 Answers ]

A few months after my ex and I started dating he confided in me and told me that he had been molested as a boy. He was about 12 or 13 years old and his father was absent in his life. He lived with his grandmother and had a big brother from church. He used to spend the night with his big brother and...

She left me because he ex said I molested her child [ 7 Answers ]

She knows that I didn't do it. So does family and friends as well as mine. He doesn't like me and has been trying to break us up since we first got together about eight months ago. I moved in with her and her family after a few months. While she was working I would watch her two daughters(ages...

Adoption of own brother as child is possible [ 2 Answers ]

Does the law allow to adopt one's own brother as one's child


View more questions Search