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Taylor1313 · Dec 8, 2010, 06:57 PM

Everybody tells me that cutting is bad. But what if cutting is the way for someone to keep from coming apart. I'm just trying to figure it all out. Is cutting bad if it keeps you from falling to pieces.

joypulv · Dec 8, 2010, 08:24 PM

It isn't the only way, and it alarms people. Sooner or later they see the cuts or catch you cutting, and will call an ambulance and have you committed for about 10 days and release you to a planned program of therapy or a group (maybe you are hoping?). You need to find someone you can tell, an adult you like and who you believe will direct you toward the right kind of help, usually weekly therapy, if you aren't suicidal.
Scars are forever too, and can get infected. Someday you may be happy and there you will be on a sunny summer day, covered in marks. Not something you probably care about now, but I am saying it anyway.
Best wishes for a solution, and answer back!

Fr_Chuck · Dec 8, 2010, 08:35 PM

It is wrong, ( not bad) big difference. And there are many other ways to deal with the problems.

You will need to get help and find out how to help deal with what you believe are your issues.

Wondergirl · Dec 8, 2010, 08:49 PM

Didn't we recently have a thread going about this?

Cutting does not help you "deal with things." It only gives you new problems. It means you refuse to find ways to get your power and control back again. It means you are wimping out and giving in. It means you are letting "them" win.

If you want to be strong and in control of yourself and your life, you don't cut.

Taylor1313 · Dec 9, 2010, 06:40 PM

Does anybody truly win? My parents don't,my friends don't. And I certainly don't. Cutting is the only way I know how 2 release the emotional pain I have.

Wondergirl · Dec 9, 2010, 06:46 PM

Originally Posted by Taylor1313

does anybody truely win? My parents don't,my friends don't. And i certainly don't. Cutting is the only way i know how 2 release the emotional pain i have.

Yes, you can win by become a whole person who has control of more than just defacing her body and disrespecting herself. Your parents and friends win by being pleased to know you and being proud of you.

There are other ways -- constructive ways -- to release that emotional pain. What did you do to cope before you starting cutting?

Taylor1313 · Dec 12, 2010, 05:04 PM

Punched a wall... and if that didn't work I'd put on music and turn it as loud as it would go. But now my ear phones are broke and I can't punch the wall and no one notice anymore.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 12, 2010, 05:07 PM

You need to discuss your problems and get help for them, not harming yourself or doing destructive things

Wondergirl · Dec 12, 2010, 05:17 PM

no one notice anymore

You want to release your emotional pain, or do you want people to notice you and notice your pain?

Taylor1313 · Dec 12, 2010, 06:45 PM

I don't care if people notice me. I've gone years without caring about that. All I want to do is release emotional pain. But if I punch a wall and put a hole in it how would I explain what happened to my parents? I can't just say I felt like punching a wall,I would get grounded.

Wondergirl · Dec 12, 2010, 07:24 PM

Originally Posted by Taylor1313

how would i explain what happened to my parents? i can't just say i felt like punching a wall,i would get grounded.

So you would say, "I have emotional pain" and it would be okay?

I am really getting the feeling your emotional pain is centered around the fact that you want to be noticed and paid attention to and even hugged once in a while (appreciated for who you are).

Taylor1313 · Dec 12, 2010, 07:43 PM

No they wouldn't understand. You are kind of right but not all. I just want to be paid attention to when its my birthday or a special day. I want my mom to notice that I'm crying in my room and see what's wrong. Someone to see that all I think about when I'm at home is giving up,that all I think about is killing myself. Going away so that everyone will be happy. And yeah I do want to be appriated for who I am but mainly by my family. I want to be able to feel that I'm appreciated even if I don't have straight A's. But my family doesn't. They always want me to be somebody else or make better grades.They always want more from me than I can give. I'v ran out of stuff to give but they just want more and more.

Wondergirl · Dec 12, 2010, 07:46 PM

Originally Posted by Taylor1313

I'v ran out of stuff to give but they just want more and more.

Do they think you aren't working up to what you could really do, that you're slacking off?

Taylor1313 · Dec 13, 2010, 04:00 PM

Yh they think my boyyfriend is distracting me from studying but he's not. I can't study and keep it in my head when all the words in the book seem to spell out die,kill,injury,escape,go away,it would make everyone happy,and stuff like that. My boyfriend helps me keep from thinking like that. He helps me escape from reading those words.

Wondergirl · Dec 13, 2010, 04:21 PM

Originally Posted by Taylor1313

My boyfriend helps me keep from thinking like that. He helps me escape from reading those words.

What's his secret? What does he do?

Taylor1313 · Dec 13, 2010, 06:28 PM

He tells me he loves me when no one else does. He knows when to make me smile and when to just let me cry it out. But while I'm crying he doesn't leave my side. He shows me he'll always be there,when no one else is around. He makes me know that I'm wanted by him even if no one else will. He makes leaving life hard because I know I'll make one person cry if I do die. I know I'm his if no one else wants me. He lets me know I'm valuable. He shows me light through the darkness, when everything is dark he lights it up. I don't know how he does it,but he does. He there for me even when I act like a b****(please excuse my language,but there's no other word for it.)

Moparbyfar · Dec 21, 2010, 08:14 PM

Self examination is the first step to stopping this habit because it is dangerous to your body. Ask yourself, 'What purpose does self-injury serve for me? What am I thinking about when I feel the urge to cut?' Once you understand why you do it, confide in someone trustworthy (preferably older and wiser who is known for their compassion). Self-harm can also be a side effect of other conditions like Bi-polar Disorder, Depression or an eating disorder so it might pay to see a Doctor.
There are alternatives to cutting or punching the wall. You could try writing you feelings down on some occasions, other occasions try drawing/scribbling pictures of your mood. You won't change overnight, but given time you can come out of this on top IF you let others in to help carry the load.

Taylor1313 · Dec 21, 2010, 08:25 PM

I tried writing my feelings and my parents found everything.I tried letting people in bt they used me.im nt bipolar and I don't hv an eating diorder I don't need 2 see a doctor and I'm nt depressed.

Wondergirl · Dec 21, 2010, 08:36 PM

Comment on Moparbyfar's post
I tried writing my feelings and my parents found everything.I tried letting people in bt they used me.im nt bipolar and I don't hv an eating diorder I don't need 2 see a doctor and I'm nt depressed.

Please stop chat-speak/texting, and use good English like this is school. Your posts are difficult to read.

So nothing we suggest will work for you. What do you think you should do?

J_9 · Dec 21, 2010, 08:38 PM

Honey, you ARE depressed. People who are not depressed do not cut themselves. They do not think about dying.

Self mutilation can lead to suicide. It is one of the first steps of suicidal people. People who are suicidal are depressed.

Do you have a teacher you can talk to? A counselor at school?