Sorry, I think I went a bit off topic so I deleted my last response as it felt a bit disrespectful to go off topic when the poster has a serious question, so I apologise to the poster for that..

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Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane

Sorry, I think I went a bit off topic so I deleted my last response as it felt a bit disrespectful to go off topic when the poster has a serious question, so I apologise to the poster for that..

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Don't worry about it. Going off onto other tangents is easy to do.

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Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane

Sorry, I think I went a bit off topic so I deleted my last response as it felt a bit disrespectful to go off topic when the poster has a serious question, so I apologise to the poster for that..

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Oh Geoff,

I am sure it was fine. Your words are always enlighting and uplifting, you should never worry.

( you don't really ever bang on - I just like the saying :)

Hi Roogirl :) Beautiful picutre.!

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Originally Posted by Allheart

Oh Geoff,

I am sure it was fine. Your words are always enlighting and uplifting, you should never worry.

( you don't really ever bang on - I just like the saying :)

Hi Roogirl :) Beautiful picutre.!!!

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Thanks, that's cuddles the snake coiled around my arm, it's a bit hard to see him, but he's cute.

Run outside or die inside.
There's a world of people who will cheer you on and befriend you. If you stay you will never be alive. Living scared is for third world prisoners. Living a realized life separates you from the thousands of women out there who wish they had your guts, and makes you a hero to them. You can post advice or meet women in need one day. (if you go NOW). If you stay you are nobody's hero. And we are all rooting for you.

Well, since you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings and you want to make sure your family stays happy since they talk to him so much and don't really care about how much he's hurt you, I guess the only thing you can do is stay.

Just tell yourself that this is what martyrs do, they suffer for the sake of others. And please, don't get pregnant, it would be horrible to bring a child into this disfuntion. And make sure you prepare yourself. Any man this selfish and inconsiderate as to leave evidence laying around is mean and unpredictable. He can come home from Iraq and decide he's tired of supporting you and divorce you, that would be not only ironic, but tragic.

He's using you. It's obvious. He's selfish and self-centered. He broke his vows and didn't think twice because he continues to do it, so there is obviously no remorse. He feels entitled.

Don't wait for another blow, leave now and start your life new. I'd rather live pennyless but with dignity, than taken care of financially but disrespected and unloved.

"...God's in control now."

So very true. I am praying for your strength and wisdom as well. You can't continue like this and the Lord will guide you. Have faith.

No kids?
Wow, you are lucky!
Few women could be leaving with no baggage after that many years...
You have a chance to meet someone great. Your karma is set for it.
Find a lawyer and suitcase -- and prayers to you. His battling in Iraq does not mean you have to battle at home.
Unless you can live with an "open marriage" - it's RooGirl's time to hop right out of there!

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Originally Posted by momincali

Well, since you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings and you want to make sure your family stays happy since they talk to him so much and don't really care about how much he's hurt you, I guess the only thing you can do is stay.

Just tell yourself that this is what martyrs do, they suffer for the sake of others. And please, don't get pregnant, it would be horrible to bring a child into this disfuntion. And make sure you prepare yourself. Any man this selfish and inconsiderate as to leave evidence laying around is mean and unpredictable. He can come home from Iraq and decide he's tired of supporting you and divorce you, that would be not only ironic, but tragic.

He's using you. It's obvious. He's selfish and self-centered. He broke his vows and didn't think twice because he continues to do it, so there is obviously no remorse. He feels entitled.

Don't wait for another blow, leave now and start your life new. I'd rather live pennyless but with dignity, than taken care of financially but disrespected and unloved.

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No need to plead with me to avoid pregnancy. Haven't slept with him for 18 months or so, I won't permit it for the sake of my health.

Your marriage is done. Mentally it's healthier to accept that and start fresh in rebuilding. It will take you a few vital years. Don't lose any more time. You will feel very strong and satisfied one day for going through the fire.

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Originally Posted by Ash123

your marriage is done. mentally it's healthier to accept that and start fresh in rebuilding. it will take you a few vital years. don't lose any more time. you will feel very strong and satisfied one day for going through the fire.

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Time will tell.

I know times are tough right now, just a reminder that we are here for you.

WHY keep worrying gabout others feelings??

YOU NEED TO GET HEALTHY!!

He'll always cheat on you. He takes you for granted.

This isn't love. It's that you're too insecure to leave. Be Brave. Leave.

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Originally Posted by roogirl

Been married 17 years, no kids. My husband confessed his cheating about 2 years ago. At least 3 affairs have occurred that I know about. I know I should leave him but I just can't. Still love him, and he's currently serving in Iraq. He knows of my intent to move on. However, it seems like a horrible thing to do to somebody while they are in a warzone and I just can't bring myself to be that mean. I know that he has had affairs since his admission, he's left evidence such as opened condom packets lying around etc. I have nowhere to go and I'm afraid of breaking out on my own. Can't really afford to rent a place on my income as I've got 2 dogs as well. My family who lives interstate is contstantly on the phone to him and I feel guilty about leaving because they are all close to him.

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I have a similar situation. I know how hard it is to break up with someone you love, it doesn't matter what they did, you don't want to dump them, especially in a war zone. But it was 3 yrs ago. But ask yourself "do you think it will happen again? If you're willing to take that risk and have belief that he won't cheat agen-stay with him. If you will never trust him again, who cares about rent, move the hell out and go with a friend. You don't want to stay ith sum1 like that, he wsnt caring about you so who cares that he's in iraq? It is up to you-run the risk of him cheating agen or leave while you can.

Exactly - IF he cared about you - he wouldn't cheat.

Find a good guy.

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Originally Posted by Wildcat21

WHY keep worryin gabout others feelings?????

YOU NEED TO GET HEALTHY!!!

He'll always cheat on you. He takes you for granted.

This isn't love. Its that you're too insecure to leave. Be Brave. Leave.

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Keep worrying about others feelings? It's been a while since those dark days, Wildcat. Things have improved significantly since the original question was posted, as you will see throughout the thread. If you didn't read it all, (which is understandable because it's quite long now) you would have worked that out for yourself.

As much as I appreciate your efforts in posting, your extraneous use of question marks, capital letters and exclamation marks are quite disconcerting. Your bluntness insinuates you are standing over me with a big stick and looking down on me. I don't like it. I would rather you didn't do that please.

If my inaction about my situation annoys you, take heart that I am annoyed with me too. But that doesn't justify your approach.

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Originally Posted by momincali

I know times are tough right now, just a reminder that we are here for you.

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Thank you, it's been quite a journey.

All right... I just sent off the divorce papers to my husband. The deed is done. The matter is almost resolved. Thanks all for your help!

Nicely done.

You are no longer a doormat, but a proud woman.

BIG DIFFERENCE!

Congrats!

Great, free at last, free at last, today is the first day of the rest of your life. I wish you much luck and the happiness you deserve.