The first idea you have to consider is do you still love him ? Does he still love you .The entire problem should not just lie with you , your husband is being disrespectful . You shouldn't take such things , when he goes out lock the door behind him and keep the keys in the door so that he knows you are being serious about not wanting him to go as much .Your husband could also be having an affair his behaviour is typical behaviour in that right or he could indeed have a drinking problem which he (maybe) finds hard to admit , sit hm down and tell him at somepoint how you feel , but if he isn't willing to listen then you have to consider which way , you feel the relationship is going good luck x

Wow, are you listening to what you said? You would not put your children thu this, but you are going through it. Do you think so little of yourself that you will sacrifice your happiness and peace of mind for someone else?
Your husband is an alcoholic, he has a problem. He has to see that he has a problem. That is going to have to come inside from him. You have become an enabler. If you choose to stay with this man, you have to change how you react to him. You need to get your own life, do things that make you happy. Do not revolve your life around him. Go to alanon. When you go there, do not expect them to fix the situation. They are there to help you get through it and give you tools to fix yourself. You may think the problem is all his, it is not. NEVER think you make him drink or cause any of his behavior. BUT living in a situation like this you have lost yourself esteem and you have to gain it back.
When someone drinks like that they are mad at themselves and take it out on you. They play the blame game. It is like a roller coaster ride. When they are sober, they can be wonderful, then they drink and there goes the ride.
Please take care of yourself, do seek some help, look up alcoholism on the internet, you will read stories that sound just like your life. They will make you cry, but they also will also open your eyes. Bless you.

In life there are basically two category of people, chasers and chasees. It appears that you are chasing after your husband. What you need to do is ask yourself is do you see any potential for him changing in the immediate future and also how much longer are you willing to put up with his behavior. After you answer these questions, you must then decide your course of action which should based on your own self respect. Take care and good luck.

It doesn't matter what he is doing all night long, his behavior is unacceptable, so next time he leaves make sure your gone and stay gone. Let him wonder where you are for a change. If he doesn't want to talk he doesn't have too. Make sure you take all the toilet paper. Let him figure it out for a few days.

Your question really hit home for me. I could have written it myself. I am married 11 years to a man and we have 2 beautiful girls (7 & 4). My husband also will go out and drink so much he cannot make it home, or to work, sometimes. I will call (and call, and call) on his cell until he answers to find out where he is, then he'll say he is leaving right now, then not show up until noon the next day. It breaks my heart when the girls wake up and ask where is daddy? Or they ask me why dad is sleeping all day on the couch and doesn't want to play with them. Our relationship has deteriorated drasically in the last 3 years. I am constantly mad at him. I will be starting a new job in a few days, a job where I am required to be there at 7:30 am. I am very nervous that he will mess it up for me by not being home in the morning to get the girls up for school. I do think he is an alcoholic, but he does not think so. He thinks his behaviour is normal. I do not. I would have a hard time leaving him due to finances. His argument for staying out all night is that he was too drunk to drive and he would rather stay at his friends then risk driving. I tell him I am not mad for making that decision but for him drinking so much that he has to stay. I could even accept if this happened once a month, but it happens 3 times, sometimes 4 times a month. It is too the point that I do not trust him. I am constantly mad at him. I am embarrassed by his behavior and ashamed that I allow him to do this to me and our children. I have yelled, I have talked calmly, I have cut off all intimate relations, I have tried to be understanding, to be tough. I give up.
I totally understand the frustration and the worry that you are going through. If you do figure it out, please let me know. I don't know what to do except stay angry and cry.

Good luck

Mine does the same and it's because He's a drug addict trying not to hurt his family when he's getting high. I am completely aware of his fault but love him anyway so I won't complain.( I don't do drugs or drink and have good self esteem) the facts are most likely your husband has a secret so frightening to him that he doesn't know how to tell you. He is probably thinking he's showing more respect by keeping you from the painful and sad truth, the question is what will you do when you find out what is up? Do you love him unconditionally as God loves or have there been boundries to your love. You need to decide what you can live with for the sake of you and then stick with it not complaining, then when others say stuff inform them you are convicted in your choice and won't budge, besides you are the one who said I do not other people. Pray and ask God to define what is best for all involved. For me it wasn't the same as it may be for someone else. Good Luck and God Bless you