Hii,

I have been married for 3.5 yrs now, my husband is a nice person, but he hides a lot of things from me. He keeps his friends, family etc.. Aloof from me. He tells me not to interfere in his family, and does not even want me to know the simplest of things that's in his family. We are abroad now, he had gone earlier and later on I joined him.. till I could join him he used to send all his mails from his personal id, but as soon as I came, he switched all his mails frompersonal to his official id, as I had asked him the password of his personal id. I don't know what is he hiding from me or why he does not to share anything with me. He never ever comments on how I look, nor does he see what I wear, he is least interested.

I am getting very frustrated now. As love does not only mean having sex, I need more than that. I want somebody to understand me and talk to me and be an open book to me... what should I doooo... please help...

He tells you not to interfere in HIS family. Does he not realize that when the two of you said your I do's that you became his family? You are his wife, he should be able to share things with you that goes on in his family life.

It also sounds like there is someone else. He went from his personal i.d. to his official i.d. when you joined him... how do you know he has completely stopped using the personal one and is hiding that from you.

You can't have a marriage or any type of relationship without trust. If you think he is hiding something from you, you don't trust him. Which there is a good possibility that he is hiding something. What? I don't know. But something hidden indeed.

Talk to him and tell him how you feel. Tell him what you just posted and see where things lead from there.

Good Luck!

Hi sweet, thanks for answering, when I joined him and checked his mails, after the date I joined him, there were no mails at all from his sent mail. I have tried talking to him, and told him, just to give an example, it so happened that his sister (married) had gone to our native place for holidays, and as usual I was not aware, and it was their anniversary, we called to wish her, and when she told me about her being in native place, I was surprised and she told me that didn't my husband inform me, it really hurts, and my husband said he forgot to tell me... I means its not one incidence its always the same, and now finally he openely told me that don't interfier with my family and even if they tell you that didn't my husband inform me, tell them straight that he does remember to tell me... I really feel sick about this. I have gone through lot even before, he had friends females in office, and was close to them, he used to phone them, and delete numbers, I have cought him as well... I was a little possesive and don't like my husband talking extra to any girl... he used to lie then... I am sick and tired of this, he changed his job and then we shifted abroad. Please pray for me as I sometime feel I am living with a stranger..

All that he is doing would definitely put up some red flags for me. I would not be able to deal with him hiding everything, and now that you have his password deletes any messages he sends... that's very fishy.

Try the same thing with him, keep things from him and hide emails and phone calls from him for a little while. When he questions you about it, which he will, tell him that is how you feel when does the same.
I wish you luck, and hope everything turns out okay for you.

The first thing that I would do is, as much as possible, start living my own life. I know that you're in a new country, but start developing some friendships, perhaps do some voluntary work, begin to fill your life with things other than your husband. Stop being dependent on him and begin to forge a life with your own interests.

The second thing that I would do is not allow him to bully you. If he wants to play the silly exclusion games then that's his business. Be clear with his family, if the occasion arises, that he doesn't tell you things and then let him deal with the consequences.

All the other stuff I would ignore - it seems as if he's using this as a way of feeling powerful and dominating you, so ignore it. Develop your own interests and keep quiet about what you do and where you go.

Regardless of why he's hiding things from you don't allow him to control your emotions and feelings. By all means let him know that you're not happy with his behavior, but get on with your own life.

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, when I joined him and checked his mails,

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You should not do that behind him either.

Sound to me, he takes too much control over the raltioship and too selfish! Do you talk to him about his family? I can't believe how would one person hide his family off his wife!