How should I deal with my jealous,insecure hubby?
I have been with my husband almost 7 years now. We have one son who is 3. The problem is my husband is very, very moody, jealous, insecure and disrespectful. Probably wondering why I even bother to try and save our relationship. Well, all I can say is it is not bad all the time and he really can be sweet when he wants. He is also a wonderful provider who when it comes right down to it would do anything for his family. I would like to clarify one thing right off the bat, he is NEVER physically abusive, he never raises his voice to me and he never swears at me.
First, my husband is very moody. He will get angry for no obvious reason at all. I would say the one thing that sets him off the most is when I ask what he calls a "stupid question." These are questions that he thinks I should already know the answer to. When I ask one of these questions, he will get hateful and short with me.
Second, he is very jealous and insecure. He has a job where he is away from home a lot. He will make little snide remarks about me having a boyfriend. He won't just come right out and accuse me of cheating, but he makes these "boyfriend" comments all the time. I have never given him any reason not to trust me. The comments will become more frequent whenever my sister is between boyfriends. He seems to think that just because my sister is single that I will suddenly want to cheat on him. It is not like I go to the bars with her. In fact, I rarely go anywhere besides to the gym, bank, groccery store and to visit family. I got on to him about these comments a few months ago and he stopped making them for awhile. But now that my sister is suddenly single again, and I am on a diet (have lost 14 lbs), he is beginning to make them again.
Now to the disrespectful thing. He never puts his dirty clothes or towels in the hamper. He leaves dishes and trash just laying where ever he finished with them. He refuses to quit wearing his dirty work boots in the house. He won't do any repairs around the house. Example, we were going to replace our tile countertops in the kitchen. So, he begins beating out the old tile, taking down the backsplash etc... Now, 18 months later, the kitchen is still torn up. He started it, worked for one evening and has never touched it again. Get this, he refuses to let me hire someone to finish it. He says he will leave me if I hire anyone to fix anything in his house! There is also a long list of other items that need repair that he will not fix. If I say something to him about fixing anything, he tells me that every time I mention the repair it will just take him even longer to get around to doing it. And if I try to talk to him about cleaning up after himself, he says that it is just the way he is and he is not going to change. He also makes the snide remark "thats what I've got you for." which really infuriates me. He thinks that just because I am a stay-at-home-mom it is my job to continuously clean up after him! Or another one of his famous comebacks is "If you don't like it then you can leave." He is so infuriating! It is impossible to talk to him about anything with his crappy attitude.
I could seriously go on and on about all the things that he does that make me so mad but I think everyone gets the point. I am just wondering if anyone has any advice on how I should deal with him. Is there any way that I can get him to trust me and quit being so disrespectful. I would really like to make our marriage work for the sake of our son. However, I am not content to live like this the rest of my life either. What should I do?