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MARRIED26 · May 16, 2009, 01:18 PM

I am 26 and have been married for 9 months. I feel like my wife lost interest in sex several months ago. Now her grandma is hospitalized and in poor health. She might have to go to Poland in about 1 month from now to visit her again. I know she is worried about her grandma, but the loss of interest in sex began even before her grandma started going in and out of the hospital. I feel like I can't go much longer without sex. Now I am even thinking about trying to meet another woman for sex and only for sex, because I feel like I will never get anymore sex from my wife. I try to talk to her about our sex life but she is never really interested in talking about it and so we never have a serious discussion about the issue. I have little idea what to do- divorce? Find a "sex buddy", another woman just for sex, and stop having sex with my wife?

Fr_Chuck · May 16, 2009, 01:44 PM

How sad, I hope your wife divorces you and finds someone who will truly love her.

Marriage is so much more than sex and if you can't go a few monhs with no sex you never loved her to start with. What if she was in a accident and could never have sex, would you stay faithful and with her, obviously not.

You first "suffer" though it, if your wife is having some personal issues. And if it continues after she gets back, you don't dare worry her with this before she goes.

When she gets back perhaps then you can get to counseling.

But to be honest after only 9 months and you could even think this, I still think she would be a lot better off without someone like you.

DoulaLC · May 16, 2009, 02:23 PM

A "sex buddy"?? Why did you get married?

What does she do when you try to become intimate with her? What has she said when you told her you miss being intimate with her? Are you tender, caring, and compassionate with her without it having to lead to sex?

Gemini54 · May 17, 2009, 05:32 PM

Gee, you give up quickly don't you?

Instead of cheating on your wife, why don't you try creating a situation where she feels like having sex?

Instead of complaining, why don't you make her feel good about being your wife?

Instead of thinking about yourself, why don't you think about her?

Instead of blaming her, why don't you think about what you might be doing which may have put her off sex?

It's not all about you. It's not all about sex. Try being mature and exercising some restraint. Be supportive, loving and affectionate instead of complaining and demanding. You might find that it changes everything.

SONOMAMA29 · Apr 8, 2010, 04:23 PM

Your making yourself sound like a sex addict! Jesus, and a "sex buddy", just get a divorce... you didn't just marry her so you could be able to have sex with her all the time.. did you? Why don't you try to whooo her? Get a romantic night going, I'm sure she is stressed about her sick gram, don't cheat on her that's gross, make it work, until DEATH DO YOU PART... REMEMBER,, it wasent that long ago, make it work. Romance her, she doesn't want to come home and have you constantly ask her for sex its annoying! Get her intrested.

JudyKayTee · Apr 9, 2010, 09:21 AM

Originally Posted by SONOMAMA29

Your making yourself sound like a sex addict!! jesus,, and a "sex buddy",, just get a divorce.... you didnt just marry her so you could be able to have sex with her all the time..did you? why dont you try to whooo her? get a romantic night going,, im sure she is stressed about her sick gram, dont cheat on her that's gross, make it work,, til DEATH DO YOU PART.................REMEMBER,,, it wasent that long ago,, make it work. Romance her,, she dosent want to come home and have you constantly ask her for sex its annoying!! get her intrested.

This is a 2009 post, OP has not been back.

donf · Apr 9, 2010, 02:12 PM

Wow, a "Sex Buddy" let me see if my Lady goes/buys that.

Oh, why bother, she will just remind me that my autopsy can still be ordered.

My suggestion is that you grow up, quickly.

The focus should not be on your petty desire for sex as much as your ability to comfort and support your wife. Something is seriously distracting her. Reach out and find out from her how you can help ease her worries and fears.

As Fr. Chuck said earlier, sex is a small part of married life. It is an important part of married life but it is just that, part of your married life.

I'm serious, and I speak with a great deal of experience when I say this, find out how you can help her, she needs your undivided attention and concern!

Catsmine · Apr 10, 2010, 04:14 AM

Originally Posted by donf

Wow, a "Sex Buddy" let me see if my Lady goes/buys that.

Oh, why bother, she will just remind me that my autopsy can still be ordered.

My suggestion is that you grow up, quickly.

The focus should not be on your petty desire for sex as much as your ability to comfort and support your wife. Something is seriously distracting her. Reach out and find out from her how you can help ease her worries and fears.

As Fr. Chuck said earlier, sex is a small part of married life. It is an important part of married life but it is just that, part of your married life.

I'm serious, and I speak with a great deal of experience when I say this, find out how you can help her, she needs your undivided attention and concern!

Don, it's a year old. Leave it be.