I can't thank all of you enough just your advice has given me abit of hope I have had a look at that site that was provided to me and it seems very helpful but before I do anything I will have be wise and save enough money until then do what I have been doing for the past 6years.

Yes, this is a very big deal and a life and death matter that you need to approach with care and planning and caution. I have faith that you will find your way to freedom, but in your own way, by your own methods, and in your own time. I have great respect for your courage.

You do not need money to get help from these places ,they are woman's shelters and they also deal with your specific problem. The problem of forced marriage and abuse.
If you look you will see that they will keep you safe.
Make the call my dear,your life is worth living.
Take the help that is there,you only stand to gain.
Get past the fear and call!

I agree with Artlady, it is hard and it is final but you must make a move to leave this abusive situation. You don't need money.

Imagine if you had children how trapped you would feel? You are lucky that you don't because your in-laws would then have an even greater hold on you.

You are also fortunate to be in the UK because there are strong systems in place to protect you - please take advantage of them, in the years to come you will not regret making this move.

Hey

For the past few weeks, I've been going through a living nightmare with my family, but reading about your situation makes me really feel for you

Im a 20 yr old Pakistani girl living in the Manchester area too, and so I do understand what it can be like trying to fulfil your cultural requirements in a Westernised land. But girl, you HAVE to start living for yourself, please. Look at you, your 21, that's only one year older than me. Islam allows you to get an education, and what your family and this whole culture crap has done to you is so unfair. Not only have the enveloped you in this whole marriage sharade, but they've also now put you in fear and despair

No wonder your depressed though, who can blame you? Im actually studying Psychology and we've been learning how things like this can really affect you mentally and physically. It's a never ending circle, trust me. You really need to start living your life for yourself and Allah

I respect you though for carrying on though and I pray Allah will reward you for remaining as pure as you are. I really hope you figure this one out and I so wish I could help you

You know, family isn't all about being blood-related and biologically connected

Remember there's always another sister or brother out there, whose closer to you in Faith and Imaan, even closer than the ones who raised you or birthed you. I might not know you or whatever, but you're my sister and although I'm far from being a perfect muslim, I pray that Allah accepts my prayer for you.

I LOVE this! Yes! YES!!

I agree with ArtLady as well. If you are not familiar with the health care system in Britain, it is much like in Canada, you do not have to worry about having money.

You only need to start. You make some phone calls during a run to the grocery store, not on your personal phone, but at a phone booth, to your local hospital, ask them for the name(s) of Doctors taking new patients in that area, and call and make an appointment.

Tell your Doctor exactly what you have told us here. He/she is the starting point for a referral to services for women of different cultures. One door will open another door. No doors will mean an immediate escape, or will put you in a dangerous situation. Services for women are confidential, and specifically sensitive to the cultural needs of women in your circumstances. They know what they are doing, and will not put you in harm's way.

When you make your way through the information, you will see that there are safe houses, shelters, job training, housing assistance, education assistance, etc. etc. etc. There is NO shortage of opportunities for you to live a free life, if you choose to!

While this may all seem very intimidating, and I'm sure it does because you are being controlled by family on both sides of the coin, you must believe that there is a better life for you, and it will be your families choice eventually, to accept you and your new life, or not.

The immediate danger of getting out will eventually fade hopefully, as your waring families sort out who's fault it is, and probably arrange another wife for this disabled man you are stuck with. I think there is however, a danger in executing a plan while living there. If they find an envelope with money, or a train ticket, or track your cell phone calls, they would know what you are up to.

You have to weigh your options, and realize that as bad as it is where you are right now, it is known. The unknown will take strength, courage, and resolve to face. But, I cannot imagine a bright 21 year old being stuck in ancient traditions that will destroy your future forever!

Take advantage of the fact that you are in Britain, and you have far more opportunities there than where you came from.

You have a lot of thinking to do.