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-   -   My 18 year old can't focus in college (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=736974)

  • Mar 2, 2013, 09:40 AM
    mago1964
    My 18 year old can't focus in college
    My 18 year old son went through all school with honor roll grades and graduarted with honors as well he is now attending college but not passing any of his classes he claims he can't focus. Please help
  • Mar 2, 2013, 09:44 AM
    teacherjenn4
    Is he living away from home? Where does he do his studying?
  • Mar 2, 2013, 09:54 AM
    mago1964
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by teacherjenn4;340t9200
    Is he living away from home? Where does he do his studying?

    He is now living here at home college is only 40 minutes away he comutes every day.
  • Mar 2, 2013, 10:14 AM
    dontknownuthin
    I would recommend counseling. Have you talked about this with him?

    Please be aware that college is a very difficult transition for many people. Even if someone is working at home, the separation from close high school friends, the change in the format of classes, having way more free time that they have to structure for themselves than in high school (going from being in class from 8 to 3 or so to being in class only 2 or 3 hours a day), and taking on varying degrees of adult responsibility can all be rough.

    College years can also be a common time for young adults to first begin to show signs and suffer from mental illnesses. This isn't a manner for panic, but something to be aware of to stop yourself from brushing it off.

    Your son may be disappointed he did not go away to college like his friends. Commuting to college can set a student apart from the rest socially, and that might be bothering him as well - a feeling he's not part of the college community. He might be having trouble structuring so much of his time. Or, he might just feel like leaving home. I wouldn't take it personally but at 18, kids are pretty much programmed to want separation from their families - it's hard to grow into their own when they are still home with mom and dad.

    I would have a candid talk with him, totally non-critical, and ask him what he thinks is going on and what would help. Tell him to take money out of the discussion and talk about what would really work well for him.

    If he feels he would benefit from living on campus, talk to financial aid and see what they might be able to do for him. If he can speak well of his needs and objectives, they may be able to come up with more money.

    The school can also be a poor fit. It may seem that shouldn't make a difference in grades but I found it made a huge difference for me when, years ago, I left a Big 10 school surrounded by cornfields to a Catholic university in an urban setting. It suited me so much better, my gpa went from barely making Cs (depressed) to a 4.0.
  • Mar 2, 2013, 12:19 PM
    teacherjenn4
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by mago1964 View Post
    He is now living here at home college is only 40 minutes away he comutes every day.

    College is a big step and depending on the class size, ca seem quite daunting. How many credits is he taking right now? Is he working?
  • Mar 2, 2013, 01:20 PM
    mago1964
    No, I have not talk to him about couceling but I make sure I mention it. I thank you very much for your expert advise everything makes sense now. God bless you

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