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    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #21

    Jul 9, 2013, 01:18 PM
    It may be easier, at the moment, to speak to a counselor at an abused women's shelter.

    I'm making the assumption, that for whatever reason, your mother is unwilling, or unable to make changes to protect herself, and her children.

    As you have described the home situation here, when explained to a counselor, she will see that your mother would certainly 'qualify' for assistance. Whatever the needs are, there are resources to help and protect women and their children in their care.

    Once it is established that you and your sister are in need of protection, they will also be able to provide resources. I think this is an immediate need here, and I encourage you to seek this type of assistance.

    Because there has already been police intervention (were there charges laid, and do you know what they are?), and that wasn't enough to slow your step-father down, it is necessary for you to think of yourself and your sister only.

    I hope that it doesn't escalate to a point where in the not too distant future that you will also find yourself protecting your mother, and in so doing, get injured yourself. It is an impossible situation for you being so young, to be the protector, instead of the protected.

    But it is what it is. Have confidence that taking steps will help, not hurt, your situation.

    It may take time to contact relatives in Canada, let alone arrange to have help from them. I think that intervention by family could very well make things worse, as abusers would prefer to keep their abuse private, and particularly if they can only provide phone contact with your mother. She may be in further danger by involving 'outsiders'. I don't know enough about your situation to say whether that is a good option at the moment.

    But I do know this. The better informed and educated you are as far as what you CAN do and what your options are, the better you and your sister will be.
    ChloeLebold's Avatar
    ChloeLebold Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #22

    Jul 9, 2013, 03:43 PM
    My mom and I got in a huge fight the last time I involved any of my family members. And none of the close family members that I have are options to live with. My dad kicked me out when I was 14 and we haven't talked since. My grandparents on my dads side can't afford to have me live with them, and even if they could it would mean leaving my sister behind. And I tried living with my grandparents on my moms side, but I ended up getting taken out of that home and placed into foster care when I was 13. So there's nothing any of our family members can really do.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #23

    Jul 9, 2013, 03:48 PM
    I'm leaving this one to Jake, with all due respect.
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,801, Reputation: 2674
    Expert
     
    #24

    Jul 9, 2013, 03:50 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ChloeLebold View Post
    My mom and I got in a huge fight the last time I involved any of my family members. And none of the close family members that I have are options to live with. My dad kicked me out when I was 14 and we haven't talked since. My grandparents on my dads side can't afford to have me live with them, and even if they could it would mean leaving my sister behind. And I tried living with my grandparents on my moms side, but I ended up getting taken out of that home and placed into foster care when I was 13. So there's nothing any of our family members can really do.
    How did you get out of foster care? Did your mom file a petition to get you out? If your family members are so uncooperative, and the ones in Canada are not available, what happened to get you released?

    After all of these replies, what do you want us to say, we can't help you physically. All we can do is give you advice to help yourself. Do you know what to do now, resources to use?

    Something is not adding up here.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #25

    Jul 9, 2013, 05:30 PM
    Okay, I can no longer resist. Please read my earlier response.

    I still see a great deal of anger, deservedly or not.

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