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    this8384's Avatar
    this8384 Posts: 4,565, Reputation: 485
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    #41

    Jun 24, 2011, 02:45 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Delow84 View Post
    From what she said today, her lawyers response to her email and the faxed copy of what we signed, was "Ok thanks" so I am not sure if she is lying, or if it doesn't seem like they will fight it. Child support has already been brought up during co parenting, so I am not sure that will spook her into changing her mind.
    Our counsilor said what we signed was "legally binding" but wouldnt stand as a final custody agreement or anything and we would need the lawyers and court for that. But it's basically so she can't say "he's kept him the last two weeks and our court order says he only gets him on his days off"
    Which again I don't think she will try and use much against me, because now with her defeated attitude she has been open about alot of things she has done against court order thats in place.
    And I explained to my lawyer how I wanted the visitation to work. Supervised until she is on depression meds and sees a psychiatrist, then after awhile unsupervised, (with her bf not to be around our son) and then finally overnights again.

    and im hoping with all she has done since last week, and im pretty confident, that either way I will end up with primary custody. The only changes I would think could happen is they give her a set visitation like standard or something. Which I would think is doubtful as well, because her living with bf, she couldnt have our son over night because we have the "no unrelated members of opposite sex around child at night" so i dunno
    Well, the counselor was wrong and it was foolish of them to say that. Nothing is binding until the court approves it; the mother can always argue she was "forced" to sign it. I'm sure the mother won't fight it, but it's better to have that in writing and protect yourself from the ridiculous allegations.

    As I said before, you have the clause about not having unrelated members of the opposite sex - she may change her mind and try to fight it. Doesn't mean the court won't approve it, but that also doesn't mean she's going to abide by it.

    As long as your son is safe, that's the most important thing. Make sure you pat yourself on the back for being an involved father!
    Delow84's Avatar
    Delow84 Posts: 309, Reputation: 45
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    #42

    Jun 24, 2011, 03:02 PM
    ahh well my ex doesn't care about checking into details so all she will remember is "legally binding" and that she signed something. So in the mean time she won't fight that. I hope the lawyers can settle it before court, I hate going to court, and having to trust in judges, or anything random.
    And thank you ^_^
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    this8384 Posts: 4,565, Reputation: 485
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    #43

    Jun 24, 2011, 03:12 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Delow84 View Post
    ahh well my ex doesnt care about checking into details so all she will remember is "legally binding" and that she signed something. So in the mean time she wont fight that. I hope the lawyers can settle it before court, I hate going to court, and having to trust in judges, or anything random.
    And thank you ^_^
    She might remember "legally binding" - her attorney, who she is paying to represent HER best interests, knows otherwise.

    You'll still have to appear for the final hearing which will get everything settled. But I agree with you; court is a long, painful process when it's dealing with family matters and it's hard not knowing how it will end up. But I'd be pretty confident in your case at this point, it seems like everything is going to settle in your favor.
    Delow84's Avatar
    Delow84 Posts: 309, Reputation: 45
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    #44

    Jun 28, 2011, 01:47 PM
    Sigh so yesterday I get the death threat from her boyfriend. Said he was on his way etc to kill me and himself so she could get our son. When I told her, she didn't seem like she cared and texted me "well yeah id be pretty happy if you were dead"
    So now have a police report on the boyfriend (who she lives with) and we are for sure going to court Thursday I am guessing to get a restraining order against him.
    Which would essentially limit her access as well, since she lives with him.
    Hopefully all will be done soon. I am not even 100% what will happen now.
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    #45

    Jun 28, 2011, 02:11 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Delow84 View Post
    sigh so yesterday I get the death threat from her bf. said he was on his way etc to kill me and himself so she could get our son. When I told her, she didnt seem like she cared and texted me "well yeah id be pretty happy if you were dead"
    so now have a police report on the bf (who she lives with) and we are for sure going to court thursday i am guessing to get a restraining order against him.
    which would essentially limit her access as well, since she lives with him.
    hopefully all will be done soon. I am not even 100% what will happen now.
    You need to ensure that your child is included on the restraining order - otherwise it's just between you and him, and has no effect on her visitation.

    If he's threatening you and she's saying things like that, I'd say supervised visitation is absolutely in order and the judge would have to be a fool to rule against it.
    Delow84's Avatar
    Delow84 Posts: 309, Reputation: 45
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    #46

    Jun 28, 2011, 02:17 PM
    Well there are some fool judges out there. I am hoping a judge just laves things the way it is when it comes to visitation. Let me decide when, where and how etc. My lawyer and I, I believe, will include our son on the restraining order, and I don't see a judge saying no to that.
    I think her reaction to the fact he said that, which is saved in a text, will go a long way towards swaying a judge against her.
    Delow84's Avatar
    Delow84 Posts: 309, Reputation: 45
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    #47

    Jul 28, 2011, 12:07 PM
    So I have another question, but first an update on what happened at court.
    We didn't go before a judge, just me her and our lawyers. She admitted her boyfriend threatened to kill me, and she wanted me dead etc in front of both lawyers. In the end she ended up with supervised visitation only at her grandparents or mothers house. Her boyfriend is no allowed around our son at all. She gets Monday, Wednesday, Friday from 8-12 and every other Saturday from 9-4. She also has to pay child support starting August first whether she has a job or not by that point.
    We are joint managing conservators and I have exclusive right to make all decisions, I can inform her, but don't have to. I decide his place of residence within our county, and contiguous counties.
    At the time since she was asking for the wedding ring and gifts since they were "gifts" I also asked for the car, which is in her grandfathers name, but was a gift to us after we got married. I gave up the car I had because of this.

    Now things were actually improving between me and her during the last month and a half. She said she wasn't going to go after wedding ring or gifts, so we could just end it all. I was willing to give her a better visitation, still supervised and still with her boyfriend not being allowed around our son. This last weekend she messaged me how he had almost killed her and everyone in the car cause he was driving extremely reckless, to the point she had to jump out of a moving vehicle.

    She isn't asking for any overnights or anything like that, she just wants to be able to have the boyfriend around, I don't think that's safe. What are the chances a judge would take that away and let her have him around? He's threatened to kill her, himself, me and she has threatened to kill herself and our son... I would hope that and what he did this last weekend would be reason enough to keep it the same.
    Delow84's Avatar
    Delow84 Posts: 309, Reputation: 45
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    #48

    Jul 28, 2011, 12:09 PM
    Comment on Delow84's post
    Id like to also add, she is not going to pay her child support on Monday because she has no money.
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    this8384 Posts: 4,565, Reputation: 485
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    #49

    Jul 28, 2011, 02:50 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Delow84 View Post
    So I have another question, but first an update on what happened at court.
    We didnt go before a judge, just me her and our lawyers. She admitted her bf threatened to kill me, and she wanted me dead etc infront of both lawyers. In the end she ended up with supervised visitation only at her grandparents or mothers house. Her bf is no alowed around our son at all. she gets monday, wednesday, friday from 8-12 and every other saturday from 9-4. She also has to pay child support starting august first whether she has a job or not by that point.
    We are joint managing conservators and I have exclusive right to make all decisions, I can inform her, but dont have to. I decide his place of residence within our county, and contiguous counties.
    At the time since she was asking for the wedding ring and gifts since they were "gifts" I also asked for the car, which is in her grandfathers name, but was a gift to us after we got married. I gave up the car I had because of this.

    Now things were actually improving between me and her during the last month and a half. She said she wasnt going to go after wedding ring or gifts, so we could just end it all. I was willing to give her a better visitation, still supervised and still with her bf not being alowed around our son. This last weekend she messaged me how he had almost killed her and everyone in the car cause he was driving extremely reckless, to the point she had to jump out of a moving vehicle.

    She isnt asking for any overnights or anything like that, she just wants to be able to have the bf around, I dont think thats safe. What are the chances a judge would take that away and let her have him around? hes threatened to kill her, himself, me and she has threatened to kill herself and our son.... I would hope that and what he did this last weekend would be reason enough to keep it the same.
    First of all, congratulations! Sounds like things went amazingly well for you :)

    Secondly, I wouldn't back down on the no-contact order for the boyfriend. The guy sounds dangerous - do you really want him around your son? If her lawyer was agreeing to it, sounds like he knows the judge will order the same.
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    Delow84 Posts: 309, Reputation: 45
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    #50

    Jul 28, 2011, 02:56 PM

    Thank you, my lawyer told me afterward that I was basically a little too generous with visitation (didnt need to give her any weekends) and since then she has also blown off 2 of her weekday visitation to go to the beach with her boyfriend.

    I am not going to back down in any way. I told her if she agrees to leave it in there, then once its all final I will get together with her and him and a councilor or something over an extended period for them to show me that he is not a danger. She is not OK with that.

    She is fighting to have boyfriend be around, but nothing else as in no more time, or overnights or anything.

    And from what I understand, her lawyer I guess feels like she is going to lose (he told her during that session to shut up and stop talking, she is making things worse) She also believes her lawyer only required a one time fee of 3k. And I don't know any lawyers who only take one fee for a marraige/divorce case... I think she didn't realize what a retainer is. So she hasn't paid him at all since that.

    Her lawyer told her she can try and change it at final hearing(during that last session, he has not responded to her since.. and I believe her when she says that)
    Delow84's Avatar
    Delow84 Posts: 309, Reputation: 45
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    #51

    Jul 28, 2011, 06:58 PM
    Child support through temporary orders?
    Didn't know if I should post this in my other thread, if so I am sorry.
    I am in Texas, and recently just got primary custody of me and my ex wife's son.
    She had just recently quit her job, and was in the process of looking for another one. She found a new job and started the Tuesday right after court. (she found out she got the job after court as well)

    When we went to the emergency hearing, we and our lawyers went to a room to discuss between us I suppose to save having a trial at the time.
    In those temporary orders they put in a part for her to pay child support based on minimum wage, that would start August 1st (roughly a month and a half after court). She agreed and signed off on it.

    She quit that job the same day it started and has not really tried too much to get a new job. So now August first is coming up and she has told me she is not going to pay because she has no job or money.

    My question is, since it wasn't done through the attorney general, but through the temporary orders, do the same consequences apply to her if she fails to pay? And I am assuming in the end it will all go through the attorney general, will they keep a record of what she hasn't paid that was apart of the temporary orders?

    Tried looking this up online and here, and could not find an answer for it. Thanks for the response
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    twinkiedooter Posts: 12,172, Reputation: 1054
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    #52

    Jul 28, 2011, 07:16 PM

    This goes through child support and not attorney general's office. Once she does not pay you need to contact the child support office and let them handle this for you. Bring all your paperwork with you including the court order showing she must pay this cs. You can also go back to your original attorney and discuss this with him to help you collect the child support. He will charge you a fee, child support office won't. The only difference is you might get faster results through the attorney.
    Delow84's Avatar
    Delow84 Posts: 309, Reputation: 45
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    #53

    Jul 28, 2011, 07:21 PM

    Sorry I didn't mention our divorce is not final yet, still have to have the final hearing.
    So either way, through my attorney or child support office, the results will be the same? Albeit faster through lawyer. Thank you ^_^
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    ScottGem Posts: 64,970, Reputation: 6056
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    #54

    Jul 29, 2011, 03:40 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by twinkiedooter View Post
    This goes thru child support and not attorney general's office.
    This is Texas (I merged the threads). In TX child support does go through the AG's office.

    I'm assuming the temporary orders were ratified by the court? If so, then she would be in contempt of court. If she doesn't have a job, then she needs to appeal to the court to modify the order. The "temporary" orders are just until the divorce is finalized.
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    #55

    Jul 29, 2011, 06:28 AM
    Thanks Scott for merging the threads. And yes the temporary orders were signed off on by both lawyers, both of us as judge.
    She had no job when she agreed to this, got a job and quit it since then. I don't think she will make any effort to go to AG to modify anything. (that would take an effort on her part, so it's not likely)
    And she is already set at the minimum wage CS.
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    Delow84 Posts: 309, Reputation: 45
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    #56

    Aug 2, 2011, 12:43 PM

    Ok, so our CS is not going through the AG yet. Spoke with lawyer, and its basically just apart of our temporary orders.
    I am curious what the likely result will be when we go to final hearing (which there is no set date yet)

    She is basically just wanting it changed that her current boyfriend can be allowed around our son. As of now, he is not. He has threatened to kill me, and almost killed her driving extremely drunk to the point she jumped out of car.
    I realize judges are different and can rule any which way. But when it comes down to a set visitation, will they change what we have? Give her more? Will they alow the boyfriend who I believe is a danger to be around my son.
    Our visitation is she has supervised visits only at her grandparents/mothers house, no over nights. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 8am-12pm and every other Saturday from 9am-4pm.
    I have continued to go to co parenting counciler, and she has not because she cannot afford it. Has not paid her CS that was agreed upon.

    I realize there is no definite answer to be giving on the subject, just looking for those who are in the legal system and have experience with these kind of matters, to kind of give me a general idea of what's going to happen. I appreciate any responses.
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    ScottGem Posts: 64,970, Reputation: 6056
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    #57

    Aug 2, 2011, 12:45 PM

    Judges are hard to predict, but if there are police records about the boyfriend that verify what you have said, I think he will be kept away.
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    Delow84 Posts: 309, Reputation: 45
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    #58

    Aug 2, 2011, 12:52 PM

    Definitely understand about what a judge may or may not do. I appreciate it Scott. I have the police record for him threatening me, my ex confirming via texts, and in person. And even her saying "if you treat me right then there is nothing to worry about" in regards to his threat. She has even said with both our lawyers present, how she has a right to feel how she wants about wanting me dead.


    And is there enough to get sole custody?
    Delow84's Avatar
    Delow84 Posts: 309, Reputation: 45
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    #59

    Sep 14, 2011, 04:03 PM
    I hate to keep resurrecting this thread, but unfortunately my case is still on a roller coaster.

    Since my ex gave me our son and took that visitation, we have not had to go back to court, have had very little problems in general.

    She texted me how she almost died because her boyfriend was driving so recklessly (drunk) that she jumped out of the car because she thought that was safer.

    Now apparently she has filed a motion almost 3 months after I took custody of our son, for joint conservators but child would reside with her monday-friday. She has accused me of not allowing her visitation. (I keep the calandar on my iPhone current every day with time of pick up, drop off and a short description if anything significant has happened)

    I have even allowed her a few hours on a day that wasn't hers, so she could take him to a baby shower.

    She is also wanting her boyfriend to be allowed around our son.

    So our court case is just one week away, and I am very scared. I have no way of knowing for certain what will happen. My lawyer says he doubts a judge would change much.
    Can anyone tell me the likely hood that a judge would change custody back to her, for no good reason? I have done absolutely nothing wrong.

    Where as she is already late on child support, she had gotten a job and quit it just because it's a call center. So no excuse not to pay...

    I am truly at a loss right now.

    Thanks in advance for any input .
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,687, Reputation: 1438
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    #60

    Sep 14, 2011, 04:15 PM
    First off its fine to add to a thread you have started. Ths is what we are here for. Also by keeping it in the same thread we have a running history and that helps a lot. Thanks.


    Now to your question. In most cases when there has been a custody decision by the courts they don't like to revisit it for at least 2 years. So if its under that mark then things are on your side already. Also you need to print out that email she sent about her and her boyfriend. Make extra copies as you will need at least 3 copies if you use it in court. Good Luck.

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