My boyfriend has full custody of his 5 yo son. The mother currently has supervised visitation on Sundays that takes place under the supervision of her mother or sister. Yesterday she returned the son and neither the mother or sister were along. Two complete strangers were in the vehicle. When my boyfriend called and questioned here where one of them was, she said OK thanks and hung up. Is there anything that he can do that will get her into trouble? She recently took my boyfriend to court to try and get unsupervised visitation and they are awaiting the court order for that case. Any advice is appreciated.

He files in Court because she has violated the Court Order (that visitation be supervised). If he has an Attorney, that Attorney may very well advise that visitation be denied to the mother until this issue is settled - particularly if there is a reason (which I assume there is) for supervised visitation.

I would NOT take this step without first consulting with an Attorney. While what you have posted appears very clear cut you are new to the Board and everyone wants to make sure things are exactly as you have said - so contact the Clerk of the Court and make sure you are 100% in the right.

He does have an attorney, and contacted the office last night leaving a message, and also called a hotline with domestic relations. She does have a history of psychological issues and in order for her to get modified custody she was supposed to pass a psychological eval, which she has paperwork claiming she did, BUT as of now she is still to have supervised visits. So you are saying he definitely has the right to contact someone about this?

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Originally Posted by Dimples26

He does have an attorney, and contacted the office last night leaving a message, and also called a hotline with domestic relations. She does have a history of psychological issues and in order for her to get modified custody she was supposed to pass a psychological eval, which she has paperwork claiming she did, BUT as of now she is still to have supervised visits. So you are saying he definately has the right to contact someone about this?

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He has a right to contact some one - and I would stick with the Court or an Attorney and leave a domestic relations hotline out of things unless the child was injured. In fact, he has a DUTY to go to Court to protect his child if the Court has decided the mother is somehow unfit to have unsupervised visitation and she is not obeying Court orders.

My boyfriend did get in touch with his lawyer and is signing paperwork this morning for the contempt of court order. He is going to ask that she has no visitation with her son until the hearing, but his lawyer doubts the judge will pass that. So at this point his lawyer told him that she still has the right to see her son on her scheduled visit this weekend and if she doesn't do the supervised visit, then it just adds to the contempt. He highly advised against him not allowing her to see him at his own discretion because then she would be able to file for a contempt of court order as well. Does anyone have additional advice?

I am in a very similar situation as you. I have custody of my two children and the mother receives supervised visition each Saturday for 4 hours at the supervisors house. She has done similar things like stay in her vehicle and had the children watch a movie for her visitation time without the supervisor around but we figured there was nothing we could do about it. Now I wish we would have! She would even try to get us to drop the children off at a park for a b-day party and swore the supervisor would be there and we would call the supervisor to confirm and she knew nothing about such party. Anything to get out of being watched so she could be around her friends. Definitely do not withhold visitation because then you will be in contempt and it will push her do want to get unsupervised. You need to let her know that she needs to follow the rules and if need be, speak to the person who is supervising this Sunday to make sure they will be present for the duration. If those people are listed in the court order as supervisors and they are not upholding their obligation, then I believe they could get in trouble as well. The child safety is the most important thing. Just as in my case, eventually her true colors will show through. My children haven't even seen or spoken to their mother in over 7 months now because she didn't like having to follow the visitation rules and she fell back into her old lifestyle.

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Originally Posted by nmo11

I am in a very similiar situation as you. I have custody of my two children and the mother receives supervised visition each Saturday for 4 hours at the supervisors house. She has done similar things like stay in her vehicle and had the children watch a movie for her visitation time without the supervisor around but we figured there was nothing we could do about it. Now I wish we would have! She would even try to get us to drop the children off at a park for a b-day party and swore the supervisor would be there and we would call the supervisor to confirm and she knew nothing about such party. Anything to get out of being watched so she could be around her friends. Definitely do not withhold visitation bc then you will be in contempt and it will push her do want to get unsupervised. You need to let her know that she needs to follow the rules and if need be, speak to the person who is supervising this Sunday to make sure they will be present for the duration. If those people are listed in the court order as supervisors and they are not upholding their obligation, then I believe they could get in trouble as well. The child safety is the most important thing. Just as in my case, eventually her true colors will show through. My children haven't even seen or spoken to their mother in over 7 months now because she didn't like having to follow the visitation rules and she fell back into her old lifestyle.

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That isn't the half of it. The visits are to be done with her sister or mother, and obviously they don't care about the welfare of their nephew/grandchild because they are allowing her to do this. She also took him to court to get unsupervised visitation and that is under review right now, so no final answer was given on that case yet. We are really hoping that this helps with that some how. Its so scary because you always hear stories on TV about the other parent running off with a child to never be found. You never know what some people are capable of. This isn't the first time its happened, just the first time he actually caught her at it. He's been told by his son before that she would take him to the park or to the library on her own and when she was confronted about it she would simply say its your word against mine.

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Originally Posted by Dimples26

That isn't the half of it. The visits are to be done with her sister or mother, and obviously they don't care about the welfare of their nephew/grandchild because they are allowing her to do this. She also took him to court to get unsupervised visitation and that is under review right now, so no final answer was given on that case yet. We are really hoping that this helps with that some how. Its so scary because you always hear stories on TV about the other parent running off with a child to never be found. You never know what some people are capable of. This isn't the first time its happened, just the first time he actually caught her at it. He's been told by his son before that she would take him to the park or to the library on her own and when she was confronted about it she would simply say its your word against mine.

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It IS her word against his... until he has a PI take a few photos and lets her perjure herself in front of a judge... ;)

I'm going to depart somewhat from the advice here. The court order specifies that anytime she is with the child the mother or sister has to be around. Therefore, he CAN refuse to turn the child over to her unless the mother or sister is with her. This would not be contempt of court. However, if either the mother or sister are present, then he has no choice.

I think his attorney is correct, the judge is not going to stop visits at this point, but you still file a brief with the court so when the hearing is held, you can show that she has willfully defied the court order.

I would also get the child one of those kid's cell phones that will only dial specified numbers. Instruct the child to use it to notify someone if he is being left alone with mommy.

My boyfriend is currently in court with the mother of his child for contempt of court. She has supervised visitation, he has full custody. She called him last week telling him that she can't deal with only seeing her son twice a month and that it would be easier for her to not see him at all. So she stated that if he drops the contempt of court charges she will give up her parental rights. THis is not the first time she has threatened this, and honestly it probalby is in the child's best interest if she does give them up. His only fear is that if, she does give up her rights and no one adopts him (eventually we plan to get married and after that I plan on adopting him if given the opportunity) and something would happen that he would die, would she be able to fight for her rights to get him back? Would it be better for him to have his sister adopt him that way if something does happen he would go to his sister? He is also concerned that he might be put in foster care if no one else adopts him. He was previously told by his lawyer that his spouse would be the only persont hat could adopt him. We live in PA.

Just so I understand this - the mother of the child wants to surrender all rights. Your boyfriend wants to surrender his rights so the child can be adopted by his sister?

Has anyone discussed the proposed adoption with an Attorney or do you know if she even qualifies to adopt the child?

I think this thread should be combined with this thread: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...ne-374999.html

So if everyone signs off their rights over to the sister, then your boyfriend understands that he too will not have any rights so what if something happens to the sister in your scenerio?

Ok, first and foremost, the mother cannot give up her rights until the child is adopted. Until that point, yes, if something were to happen, she would have first "dibs" at the child.

She does not have to exercise her rights but she does have to comply with her obligations (support).

His lawyer is right... his spouse can adopt. Anyone else adopting would also require him to give up the child.

He is not giving up his rights, its her wanting to give up her parental rights all together. I think she is under the assumption that if she gives up her rights that she will no longer have to pay child support as well. So the only person that could really adopt him in place of the mother would be his spouse? The only reason that his sister wants to adopt in the mothers part is to keep her from getting him if something happens.

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Originally Posted by Dimples26

he is not giving up his rights, its her wanting to give up her parental rights all together. I think she is under the assumption that if she gives up her rights that she will no longer have to pay child support as well. So the only person that could really adopt him in place of the mother would be his spouse? The only reason taht his sister wants to adopt in the mothers part is to keep her from getting him if something happens.

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She cannot just give up her rights unless his spouse adopts... and yes, that is the only one that can.

Even, in the unlikely event that she was granted a TPR, unless someone did adopt, she would, in all likelihood, still be responsible for support.