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-   -   Non custodial dad won't sign consent to travel letter (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=226457)

  • Jun 13, 2008, 09:39 AM
    KarenCee
    Non custodial dad won't sign consent to travel letter
    My husband and I want to take a trip back to his home, which is in Nova Scotia. I have joint custody of my daughter with my ex husband. The trip would only be for about 8 days and we've done this trip before. Now, because my ex is upset with me (I questioned the issue of him parading our daughter in and out of different relationships) he is refusing to sign the consent to travel form. Is there anything I can do? Why would a grown man do this to his daughter out of revenge on me? :confused:
  • Jun 13, 2008, 10:50 AM
    KarenCee
    Please... somebody please try to advise me. We are two and a half weeks away from our travel dates... this is not fair to a very upset little 9 year old.
  • Jun 13, 2008, 10:51 AM
    ScottGem
    Is this consent to travel mandated by the court as part of your divorce decree? Do you have copies of previous letters he has signed?
  • Jun 13, 2008, 10:59 AM
    KarenCee
    No, the consent to travel letter isn't mandated by the court. All my decree says is to provide him with her travel plans and contact information... which I have already done. No, I don't have copies of previous letters... and now I wish I had kept them, I just never thought he would start behaving like this. I never travel without my divorce decree when I have my daughter with me, which states international travel requirements mandated by the court, and I always travel with her birth certificate and she has a passport (which he consented to!) and my passport has my former married name (my daughter's surname) on it as well, which matches the birth cert.
  • Jun 13, 2008, 11:30 AM
    ScottGem
    Then go ahead with your vacation without worries. As long as the court doesn't require his consent I don't know why you ever asked for it. In the future I wouldn't bother.
  • Jun 13, 2008, 11:53 AM
    KarenCee
    Because the first time I traveled with her to Nova Scotia, the Canadian Customs officer informed me that I had to have this document with me the next time I arrived at the border. THIS is why I have had this done and why I am now panicking... I'm just trying to make sure I follow every letter of the law and why I am trying to find out if there is a way I can travel without this document. If I knew of another place to ask this question, I would.
  • Jun 13, 2008, 11:59 AM
    massimo2007
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by KarenCee
    My husband and I want to take a trip back to his home, which is in Nova Scotia. I have joint custody of my daughter with my ex husband. The trip would only be for about 8 days and we've done this trip before. Now, because my ex is upset with me (I questioned the issue of him parading our daughter in and out of different relationships) he is refusing to sign the consent to travel form. Is there anything I can do? Why would a grown man do this to his daughter out of revenge on me? :confused:

    You can try to ask the court for permission, call the Judge's office who presided over your case or ask your divorce atty. If your divorce doesn't state that you need written permission, (as mine did), then don't worry about it. Just make sure you have your divorce papers with you.
  • Jun 13, 2008, 04:43 PM
    KarenCee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck
    Well you could tell him you are sorry for what you said to him ???
    He has his life and you have your life, each of you have moved on, while you personally may not like his changing new partners to be honest and sounding really rude, what relationships he is in, is not your business either, and he has the right to his time with the children.
    So he is basicly being a pain in the rear to teach you a lesson about keeping your mouth shut about what he does to.

    Not saying it is right, but this is what happens in real life.

    For your information, I don't need a lesson on keeping my mouth shut! I am not concerned in the least how many women he has... only when it concerns my daughter. He drags her through relationship after relationship. She forms attachments and then he breaks up or whatever the reason may be that the relationship ends. This is very confusing to her. I have moved on... I haven't dragged this child through anything. You are a very rude and hateful person... I needed advice, not a freaking lecture!:mad:
  • Jun 13, 2008, 04:44 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    I am sorry you are not happy with some truth, but without his approval most likely you can not go, you do not get people to work with you, if you are attacking them. I have to be honest while it is sad people use their children to fight with each other But what do you expect, so you pick up the phone and discuss with him what he wants in order for you to sign,
    You work out a deal.
  • Jun 13, 2008, 04:57 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by KarenCee
    For your information, I don't need a lesson on keeping my mouth shut! I am not concerned in the least how many women he has...only when it concerns my daughter. He drags her through relationship after relationship. She forms attachments and then he breaks up or whatever the reason may be that the relationship ends. This is very confusing to her. I have moved on...I haven't dragged this child through anything. You are a very rude and hateful person...I needed advice, not a freaking lecture!:mad:



    You are WAY of line - if this is how you talk to your ex-husband, no wonder you have problems. If you think that was a lecture, wait until you read this:

    Why are you sticking your nose into your ex-husband's relationship with his child? If you feel his behavior with women going in and out of his life is dangerous to her, then go back to Court. If not - what happens when he's with "this child" is none of your business. In my area (NYS) the Court will tell you exactly that - in spades. For someone who has moved on you sure are interested in what your "ex" is doing.

    And, yes, you are dragging "this child" through something - you are dragging her through "we would go on vacation but your Dad says no."

    Don't bother criticizing my advice - I'll just read what you've already posted and figure you are going to apply it to me.

    And if you go ahead with your plans now that he has said a very loud, unquestionable "no," be prepared for additional problems. If you are still intent on going, then see if you can get an emergency hearing to address this issue but you are running out of time. Too late now to just go - you asked, he said no.
  • Jun 13, 2008, 05:00 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by massimo2007
    You can try to ask the court for permission, call the Judge's office who presided over your case or ask your divorce atty. If your divorce doesn't state that you need written permission, (as mine did), then don't worry about it. Just make sure you have your divorce papers with you.


    This is not sound legal advice - you can't telephone a Judge who presided over your divorce and say, "What do you think of this?"

    She's already been told (by the Canadian Government) that she needs permission. She asked for permission. The father said no. Now her only choice is to get back into Court to get this problem addressed.

    If the father wants to be spiteful, sees a vacation out of the country shaping up, he can very well alert the border officials that he suspects a kidnapping (or whatever else he plans to make up) and cause endless problems.
  • Jun 13, 2008, 05:23 PM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by KarenCee
    Because the first time I traveled with her to Nova Scotia, the Canadian Customs officer informed me that I had to have this document with me the next time I arrived at the border.

    I would check with the Canadian Consulate and ask them why you need such a document when your divorce decree doesn't require it.
  • Jun 13, 2008, 05:48 PM
    KarenCee
    I'm not sure what your problem is, but you don't know the whole story behind this man. That's the whole issue... you don't know anything about this. Yet you decide to be the judge and jury of me without any cause. I did not attack him nor do I use our child to fight back at him. All I asked was for advice for the situation, not a judgment statement. You as a moderator should know better.
  • Jun 13, 2008, 07:02 PM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by KarenCee
    All I asked was for advice for the situation, not a judgment statement. You as a moderator should know better.

    Now you are overstepping the bounds here. When you post a question or comments you open yourself up to comments from others. Your OP did give info that made Chuck's comments reasonable. And your reactions to those comments are shrewish. I suggest you temper your anger a bit and if you don't like any of the advice you are getting, then just ignore it. Don't attack the advisor.
  • Jun 14, 2008, 04:47 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ScottGem
    I would check with the Canadian Consulate and ask them why you need such a document when your divorce decree doesn't require it.



    Actually I've seen this at the border before - I don't know if it's a random check or rule of thumb. I am aware of a similar situation where mother, stepfather, 2 children attempted to cross and were turned back for parental consent. Obviously picked up on ID check - I would assume if there is no ID check there is no way to know names are different and these are not father's natural children.

    Now mother carries notarized letter from father authorizing specific trips.
  • Jun 14, 2008, 07:29 AM
    excon
    Hello K:

    The very first time when you were told by the Canadian bureaucrat that you needed the fathers permission, were you refused entry?? No, you weren't. Therefore, there ISN'T a REQUIREMENT at all, is there? The Canadian bureaucrat was just feeling his oats, as bureaucrats are won't to do. You're not saying, are you, that he let you in anyway, in spite of the rule?? I don't think the border bureaucrats are that nice - or stupid.

    Besides, a Canadian bureaucrat ISN'T the place to get your legal advice.

    excon
  • Jun 14, 2008, 08:29 PM
    cdad
    Here is the form or at least one of them for those that need it.

    http://www.globetrektravel.com/minortravelforms.pdf

    Child consent to travel ( must be noterized )
  • Jun 17, 2008, 05:38 AM
    ScottGem
    Comments on this post
    califdadof3 disagrees: WHOA!. There are new laws in place that come from homeland security. If one parent must travel abroad then they MUST have the consent of the other parent. If they don't they risk breaking federal law as well as kidnapping.

    Can you cite the provisions that state that? That really doesn't make sense to me. Why would the US need to prevent people LEAVING the country as part of Homeland Security?

    The US shouldn't be restricitng travel by US citizens. Any provisions that involve crossing borders should be imposed by the country crossing INTO.
  • Jun 17, 2008, 05:44 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ScottGem
    Comments on this postcalifdadof3 disagrees: WHOA ! .. There are new laws in place that come from homeland security. If one parent must travel abroad then they MUST have the consent of the other parent. If they dont they risk breaking federal law as well as kidnapping.

    Can you cite the provisions that state that? That really doesn't make sense to me. Why would the US need to prevent people LEAVING the country as part of Homeland Security?

    The US shouldn't be restricitng travel by US citizens. Any provisions that involve crossing borders should be imposed by the country crossing INTO.


    My only thought here is that if the US receives a "tip" that a person might be crossing and there is a potential problem they have the authority to stop that person on this side - I'm addressing Canada here.

    Obviously a lot depends on how the border station is set up and you could pass through this side and get stopped on "that" side.
  • Jun 17, 2008, 05:48 AM
    ScottGem
    I agree, Canada has a right to stop entry if they suspect something. Canada does have the right to require permission from all custodial parents. But the US doesn't have the right to say to Canada, that they have to require or check certain documents. They may have a mutual treaty agreeing to do so, but no US law is binding on a foreign country. And when entering a foreign country, it's their rules that govern, not the rules of the country being exited from.

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