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mbrunsell · Jun 5, 2009, 09:32 AM

Would I still be able to use the police report as documentation in court of what had happened even though the prosecuting office determined that they are not going to issue a warrant?

excon · Jun 5, 2009, 10:00 AM

Originally Posted by mbrunsell

would I still be able to use the police report as documentation in court of what had happened

Hello again, m:

Probably...

But, I WOULDN'T mention that your son wants to live with you. Unless he's older than say 14, the court isn't interested in HIS wants. The court is interested is what's BEST for the child. Mentioning it will only weaken your case, in my view.

excon

JudyKayTee · Jun 5, 2009, 10:41 AM

Originally Posted by excon

Hello again, m:

Probably....

But, I WOULDN'T mention that your son wants to live with you. Unless he's older than say 14, the court isn't interested in HIS wants. The court is interested is what's BEST for the child. Mentioning it will only weaken your case, in my view.

excon

I agree - there is another thread by OP, same subject, same question - at what age can son "pick" custodial parent.

mbrunsell · Jun 5, 2009, 11:19 AM

What would you suggest I put on my motion then for "circumstance of change"?

- he is physically, emotionally and verbally abuseive (although the warrant was denied)
- not involved in our son's education (rarely attends ptc/iept meetings)
- Has only taken him once to the dentist in the past 4 years
- does not help him with homework
- does not maintain health converage for him so it is impossible for me to take him to see his psychologist (which he REALLY needs)
- in 2008 he was diagnosed with ADHD
- I was going to take him to see a psychiatrist for possible medication, however I can not follow through with that because of lack of insurance
- his father is cohabiting with a woman who is married to another man

stevetcg · Jun 5, 2009, 11:27 AM

Originally Posted by mbrunsell

What would you suggest I put on my motion then for "circumstance of change"?

- he is physically, emotionally and verbally abuseive (although the warrant was denied)
- not involved in our son's education (rarely attends ptc/iept meetings)
- Has only taken him once to the dentist in the past 4 years
- does not help him with homework
- does not maintain health converage for him so it is impossible for me to take him to see his psychologist (which he REALLY needs)
- in 2008 he was diagnosed with ADHD
- I was going to take him to see a psychiatrist for possible medication, however I can not follow through with that because of lack of insurance
- his father is cohabiting with a woman who is married to another man

Two items are the same thing. The ADHD and the last item are not admissible and the last actually hurts your case because it makes you look petty. The rest are all relevant points.

mbrunsell · Jun 5, 2009, 11:46 AM

The whole situation with ADHD wouldn't matter in court if he had to be put on medication to be able to function in school? Also, the cohabiting with a married woman is not teaching my son any morals (not that it matters in court) It was Easter of 2007 that his father was charged with Domestic Violence (it was with his x-girlfriend) I have the Child Protective Services Report to back this up.

Could I mention the fact that my son has stated to his teacher that the reason he is hungry is because "there in no food to eat?" (I would have to look into this a little further because it could be a matter of that he does not want to eat what his father has)

I know I do not always like to hear what people are telling me, but I would rather hear it and have clear and convincing documentation for when I go to court.

Of any of the points I have made, which point, in your opinion would be most effective?

stevetcg · Jun 5, 2009, 11:49 AM

Originally Posted by mbrunsell

The whole situation with ADHD wouldn't matter in court if he had to be put on medication to be able to function in school? Also, the cohabiting with a married woman is not teaching my son any morals (not that it matters in court) It was Easter of 2007 that his father was charged with Domestic Violence (it was with his x-girlfriend) I have the Child Protective Services Report to back this up.

Could I mention the fact that my son has stated to his teacher that the reason he is hungry is because "there in no food to eat?" (I would have to look into this a little further becuase it could be a matter of that he does not want to eat what his father has)

I know I do not always like to hear what people are telling me, but I would rather hear it and have clear and convincing documentation for when I go to court.

Of any of the points I have made, which point, in your opinion would be most effective?

I thought you meant the father has ADHD. My mistake.

No - the court doesn't care about morals. There is no place for morality in court because a moral is just an opinion and the law is based on fact and precedent.

In my opinion... all of them. You don't have to pick. If you were to pick one, the education related ones are the strongest, in my opinion.

mbrunsell · Jun 5, 2009, 11:59 AM

He has 2 other kids by his x. Would I be able to mention how he has not paid any support on his other kids? He is 1375.00 behind.

How is he able to support our son? (even with the child support I pay him)

Would you happen to know or have heard what other people have put on their motion for "change in circumstances"

YES, MY SON WAS DIAGNOSED FOR ADHD

thanks for all your help!

stevetcg · Jun 5, 2009, 12:38 PM

Originally Posted by mbrunsell

He has 2 other kids by his x. Would I be able to mention how he has not paid any support on his other kids? He is 1375.00 behind.

How is he able to support our son? (even with the child support I pay him)

Would you happen to know or have heard what other people have put on their motion for "change in circumstances"

YES, MY SON WAS DIAGNOSED FOR ADHD

thanks for all your help!

Support has nothing to do with custody and visitation. Support for his other children is even less related, so no, you couldn't do that.

As for a change of custody reasoning... more stable environment, better school district, local family support - really anything. If it makes sense to you, it likely makes sense to the court as well.

Do you have a lawyer? That will help your cause more than anything else.

mbrunsell · Jun 5, 2009, 12:52 PM

No. I am planning on representing myself.

My son's father and I had to go for a child custody evaluation in February of 2008. The psychologist look at 5 child custody factors. He favored me 3 out of the 5 and did not favor either one of us on the other 2.

His recommendation was that I get full custody of our son

Is taking him to the dentsit one time if 4 years considered dental neglect?

stevetcg · Jun 5, 2009, 12:54 PM

Get a lawyer. Representing yourself is a good way to lose.

Dental neglect is a tough one... if he doesn't have any obvious dental issues, it's a hard sell.

mbrunsell · Jun 5, 2009, 01:05 PM

Thank you for all your help

mbrunsell · Jun 5, 2009, 02:52 PM

How much does the courts look down on a custodial parent who has domestic violence on their record? (it is not me)

stevetcg · Jun 5, 2009, 02:54 PM

Originally Posted by mbrunsell

How much does the courts look down on a custodial parent who has domestic violence on their record? (it is not me)

No way to measure this. Depends on the court, judge and lawyers.

this8384 · Jun 5, 2009, 02:58 PM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

No way to measure this. Depends on the court, judge and lawyers.

Also depends on if the other person was convicted, how serious the crime itself was, etc.

this8384 · Jun 6, 2009, 06:54 AM

Originally Posted by mbrunsell

Thank you for all your help

Yes, definitely get an attorney. We couldn't afford the retainer but found a local attorney through a website who is willing to work with us - I posted the link once here before, but I've heard that the higher-ups frown upon "advertising." I don't receive anything from this website, but nonetheless, I don't want to break the rules. I can send you a link if you'd like; just PM me.

I can definitely sympathize with you because your situation sounds exactly like mine - from the child(ren) wanting to live with you, to not taking them to the dentist, to the physical fights in the home of the other parent. Get an attorney - it will help tremendously.

mbrunsell · Jun 6, 2009, 03:09 PM

What is the link?

mbrunsell · Jun 6, 2009, 05:34 PM

When I went to court my son's father said that he called several times to make him come home, but we ignored his calls. I have a copy of my phone records, which includes All incoming, outgoing and missed calls.

HOW WOULD I GO ABOUT PROVING THAT HE LIED UNDER OATH?

IN 7 WEEKS MY SON WAS LIVING WITH ME HIS DAD CALLED 3 TIMES, AND TALKED TO OUR SON TWICE, WITH THE LONGEST CONVERSATION BEING 37 SECONDS!

AND HE NEVER SAID THAT HE HAD TO COME HOME!

jennifer jimmy · Jun 7, 2009, 12:30 AM

Take the records with and get a lawyer

cdad · Jun 7, 2009, 12:34 PM

How can you be sure he lied ? He may have misdialed and used the redial button thinking he had the number right. Also the phone company doesn't keep records of attempted calls. Only the ones that make it through.