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-   -   A child choosing which parent to live with (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=376233)

  • Jul 16, 2009, 04:22 AM
    ScottGem
    A child choosing which parent to live with
    This is another often asked question so I'm adding it as a sticky.

    A child can NEVER make the choice.

    In no US state can a minor child (under 18) make the decision as to which parent to live with. Only a judge can make that decision. Some areas have guidelines on how much weight to put on a child's preference based on their age, but the decision is still up to the judge based on the best interests of the child.

    If the NCP wants to modify a custody order, they have to file with the court for a modification. The court will review the case and make a decision.
  • Jul 16, 2009, 02:55 PM
    cadillac59

    Hope all the folks out there are listening, Scott.

    I'd bet that in about 2 days another OP posts, "how old does the kid have to be before he can decide what parent to live with ???????"

    It's like trying to get people to stop using cell phones when they drive, or asking a teenager to stop text messaging his friends with "Wat's up dude..??"

    It's hopeless~!
  • Jul 16, 2009, 03:08 PM
    ScottGem

    I think that some people do actually read these stickies. I have noticed a distinct drop in people posting legal questions in the Children, Parenting and other similar forums.

    Are we ever going to completely stop newbies from thinking they can just jump in without getting an idea of how to use the site? I doubt it, but if we can help even one person from psoting erroneously its worth it.
  • Jul 16, 2009, 03:13 PM
    s_cianci
    I'm going to expand on this a little further. For all of the bickering and arguing that people caught up in the family Court system typically do, the whole of Family law is quite cut-and-dry ; in fact, there are only 2 basic premises (and, as a non-attorney I'm paraphrasing, not necessarily quoting, the philosophy of the law):

    1. Every parent has the obligation to support his/her children
    2. Every parent has the right to take part fully in the raising and nurturing of his/her children.

    That's really what it all boils down to and every lawyer and judge in the country knows that. Now individual circumstances may vary, therefore necessitating different methods for each parent to exercise his/her rights and obligations. It is true that a parent has to initiate legal action in order to enforce his/her rights and also to enforce the other parent's obligations. And when one parent initiates a motion in court, the other parent has the right and responsibility to respond to that motion, thereby insuring that his/her rights are protected and his/her obligations are fulfilled. This, of course applies mostly to those situations where the parents are not domiciled together. All said, there is really nothing under the sun that can relieve a parent of his/her obligations nor deny that parent his/her rights, except such an extreme circumstance as his/her death or total and permanent disability or something similarly traumatic. People can argue, coerce, threaten and disparage all they want, hire the best lawyers,etc. But at the end of the day, nothing changes ; the law is what it is. Every parent is going to be pursued to the utmost to support his/her children and every parent is going to be given every opportunity to exercise his/her rights. So trying to get out of paying child support or trying to stop a parent from having contact with his/her children is all just a huge waste of time, money and effort.
  • Jul 16, 2009, 03:14 PM
    cadillac59
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    I think that some people do actually read these stickies. I have noticed a distinct drop in people posting legal questions in the Children, Parenting and other similar forums.

    Are we ever going to completely stop newbies from thinking they can just jump in without getting an idea of how to use the site? I doubt it, but if we can help even one person from psoting erroneously its worth it.

    I certainly hope the sticky helps and I'm not saying not to do it. But it seems we are still getting an awful lot of "signing over parental rights" threads and I think there's been a sticky on that subject for a while.
  • May 20, 2010, 02:51 AM
    confusedmom2

    Thank you, this has helped me somewhat at least it gave me a direction in which to search.

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