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-   -   I am going to be a father. The mother is uncooperative (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/am-going-father-mother-uncooperative-578300.html)

  • May 25, 2011, 09:02 PM
    jt1984
    I am going to be a father. The mother is uncooperative
    I have a daughter due in oct. the mother is being totally uncooperative with me.
    I have saved all messages that we send back and forth. I asked for the baby to have my last name and she denies it. She is already threatening to keep the baby from me.
    What are the steps I should take now ? So that I am totally prepared for this?
    As far as filing court requests etc anything will help me people. I don't know anything about this.
    We both live in COLORADO
    And she is saying she don't want me at the birth. Or even the hospital
    So I am open to you all
    Thanks
  • May 25, 2011, 09:17 PM
    Wondergirl

    She loved you at one time. Why is she rejecting you now?

    As soon as the baby is born, you must get a DNA test done. Medical and legal experts on this site will tell you more.
  • May 25, 2011, 11:25 PM
    AK lawyer

    You have no rights until the baby is born.

    After that event, you would sign an affidavit of paternity, so that your name will be on the birth certificate, and can file for visitation and (in theory) custody. You also will have to pay child support.
  • May 25, 2011, 11:31 PM
    J_9

    And yes, she has the right to refuse to let you be at the birth or even visit her and/or the baby in the hospital.
  • May 26, 2011, 06:31 AM
    JudyKayTee

    I agree with everything everyone has said. You have no rights (because you are not married) until you go to Court and establish rights. (Her text messages to you and her threats matter little.) It's her decision concerning the name on the birth certificate and whether you are or are not at the birth and/or even allowed into the hospital.

    As soon as the baby is born I would go to Court and request a determination of paternity. The Court will order DNA testing at a recognized facility. If you are the father then you will petition for visitation. Once paternity is established you can also get your name placed on the birth certificate. In NY (where I am) the fact that your name is on the because does NOT mean the child will carry your last name. I believe that's pretty standard.

    I mention the DNA testing because it is important to prove that you are the child's father.

    You, of course, will be requested to pay support and will get limited visitation - I don't know how well prepared you are to care for an infant. That will change as the child grows older.
  • May 26, 2011, 07:03 AM
    this8384
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jt1984 View Post
    i have a daughter due in oct. the mother is being totally uncooperative with me.
    i have saved all messages that we send back and forth. i asked for the baby to have my last name and she denies it. she is already threatening to keep the baby from me.
    what are the steps i should take now ? so that i am totally prepared for this?
    as far as filing court requests etc anything will help me people. i dont know anything about this.
    we both live in COLORADO
    and she is sayin she dont want me at the birth. or even the hospital
    so i am open to you all
    thanks

    Agree with everything above. Here is a website for the Colorado courts:
    Colorado State Judicial Branch - Self Help - Forms - Paternity Establishing Paternity
    Regarding which forms you will need to fill out and what steps you need to take in order to establish paternity.
  • May 26, 2011, 12:59 PM
    cdad

    Also you can prefill out all of the generic information on th forms and after the child is born you can fill in the missing parts and submit it to the courts.

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