Ask Me Help Desk - Do other women's get annoyed with the men sexualizing your bodies?

Do other women's get annoyed with the men sexualizing your bodies?

Hello. Do the other women on here get annoyed when you are out in public and the men stare at your breasts or sexualizes your body for no reason? I am not talking about dressing like tramp but dress normal and they STILL do this. I find it to be very nasty and one time I went home and even cried over it. I just want to go in public and not be looked at like a slab of meat.

I notice the women don't do it. Now I am not saying like I'm Cindy Crawford or anything, just saying I notice most of the men do this.

I don't see the male doctors no more. I went to an appointment and he was all rubbing my back and telling me things were going to fine. I hated that. I only go to the women now; they are professional.

I'm guessing you are upset nobody looks at you when you are out or enough?

Seriously... you sound like its time to get into some therapy... most humans LIKE being noticed by the opposite sex. And its normal for people to look at others they find appealing. THe human race would have died out hundreds of thousands of years ago if it wasn't normal.

Hell most advanced life forms on earth would die out if it wasn't normal for that matter.

You are guessing wrong then. If you reads the OP you would see I said the exact opposite...

The human race needs to die tomorrow.

Anyway I was just saying I finds it to be disgusting and annoying how they are and how they stares at the women's bodies like slabs of meat... the whole point of them doing it is to try and make the women feel dirty, embarrassed or cheap anyway. No matter how we dress.

I must be very, very ugly. I never got that feeling. And no male doctor has ever rubbed my back (except for a chiropractor who was trying to adjust it).

I have lots of male relatives and male in-laws and two sons and two brothers. None of them have ever even jokingly referred to women as slabs of meat. I suspect you are misunderstanding something.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I must be very, very ugly. I never got that feeling. And no male doctor has ever rubbed my back (except for a chiropractor who was trying to adjust it).

I have lots of male relatives and male in-laws and two sons and two brothers. None of them have ever even jokingly referred to women as slabs of meat. I suspect you are misunderstanding something.

Once again OP is seeking attention - no man ever made me feel like a piece of meat.

And in some cases, yes, people should not reproduce.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I must be very, very ugly. I never got that feeling. And no male doctor has ever rubbed my back (except for a chiropractor who was trying to adjust it).

I have lots of male relatives and male in-laws and two sons and two brothers. None of them have ever even jokingly referred to women as slabs of meat. I suspect you are misunderstanding something.

I don't see how's someone can 'seek' attention from a bunch of peoples they don't even know on the internet -- what good is that going to do a person? Here's a novel idea: maybe I'm asking question to see if anyone else have gone through this! Go figure... Once again Judy is being a *blank* and a wrong one at that, LOL. I won't be responding directly to her anymore...

Anyway --

No I am not saying you're very ugly or other women. I just saying I noticed the men do this quite a lot in public. If you talks to them like at a store in the sales dept. they stare at your breasts and/or lick their lips and stuff. Its extremely uncomfortable. They don't even talks to your face. It doesn't matter how you're dressed.

Imo like I said I think they do it to demeans the women and show them they are below them in status or something. I do not know if I am misunderstand something or not. But can't believe I'm only woman in world notices men stares at women in a sexual manner. Oh well.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redlipsticklena

You are guessing wrong then. if you reads the OP you would see I said the exact opposite.....

the human race needs to die tomorrow.

anyways i was just saying i finds it to be disgusting and annoying how they are and how they stares at the women's bodies like slabs of meat.....the whole point of them doing it is to try and make the women feel dirty, embarrassed or cheap anyways. no matter how we dress.

Get help... you need it. You are not having normal thoughts or thinking along the lines a normal person thinks.

Seriously... I have known thousands of people so far on a first name basis... I've met magnitudes more.

Not ONE person has ever shared that line of thought... seek professional help. Its not too late.

And if you don't think WOMEN do the very same thing... then you are completely wrong, because most women do as well. Its not just guys that do it. All normal people do this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

Get help....you need it. You are not having normal thoughts or thinking along the lines a normal person thinks.

You not bes understanding the problem.

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

Get help....you need it. You are not having normal thoughts or thinking along the lines a normal person thinks.

Seriously...I have known thousands of people so far on a first name basis...I've met magnitudes more.

Not ONE person has ever shared that line of thought....seek professional help. Its not too late.

I am in a therapy for awhile now. But we do not talks about these type of thing.

If no one you know nor yourself have ever had these thougths that is fine. Just asking.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redlipsticklena

iam in a therapy for awhile now. but we do not talks about these type of thing.

if no one you know nor yourself have ever had these thougths that is fine. just asking.

The fact nobody I know (or that they know too) thinks like this IS indicative that its really NOT a common way of thinking. And perhaps you should bring this up during the therapy sessions. It can't be addressed unless you do. And it REALLY does need addressed.

My jobs have had me in contact with large numbers of people... plus the fact I'm fairly extroverted and talk easily to a lot of people. This is something you would not be able to hide from others.

This is something that WILL negatively affect you quality of life and your ability to interact with others.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redlipsticklena

cant beleive i'm only woman in world notices men stares at women in a sexual manner. oh well.

I think you are. I have yet to hear a woman complain about such a thing. And I have been around for a long, long time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I think you are. I have yet to hear a woman complain about such a thing. And I have been around for a long, long time.

I was a bikini waitress - I didn't have this problem then and I don't have it now.

Let's all post photos of ourselves!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I think you are. I have yet to hear a woman complain about such a thing. And I have been around for a long, long time.

All right well ad that to 'freak list' of my life then. Never mind.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redlipsticklena

iam in a therapy for awhile now. but we do not talks about these type of thing.

Why not? You should be.

I'm slow on the uptake today and this was just pointed out to me -

Lipsticklenas in my area are feminine Lesbians. Never occurred to me. Yes, I think that it would be possible for a lipsticklena to assume all men were looking at their bodies, totally unwanted attention.

This would also explain the lack of sexuality when men are involved in the other thread.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I'm slow on the uptake today and this was just pointed out to me -

Lipsticklenas in my area are feminine Lesbians. Never occurred to me. Yes, I think that it would be possible for a lipsticklena to assume all men were looking at their bodies, totally unwanted attention.

This would also explain the lack of sexuality when men are involved in the other thread.

SO would she be just as upset if Lesbians looked at her and why would that be any different?

Hi, smoothy -- next time you want a response about me you should probably asks me don't you think. I am NOT lesbian and don't know anything about lipstick whatevers. 'Lena' is a part of my first name. I am straight woman who is attracted to male. I do not talks to the males because I don't know what to say or anything like that. It makes no sense to me because of Asperger. If they don't talk to me then I don't talk to them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

SO would she be just as upset if Lesbians looked at her and why would that be any different?

No, I'm thinking issues with men, women who attempt to attract men just to shut them down.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redlipsticklena

if they don't talk to me then i don't talk to them.

What could they talk about that would interest you?

You've got asperger. That makes sense.

Your high functioning form of autism allows for a great many things. The unfortunate part is you're getting the world without some of the filters that we have in place. Some of us would filter out a lot of what you're noticing.

Men look at parts of the woman's body they like. This is a subconscious thing that a lot of the time we don't realize we're doing. It isn't that we're undressing you and fantasying about you. It is more that we're checking out the goods. It isn't intention but a biological cue that has been left over.

Most women don't notice it, but if they do it is something they ignore. It happens. Men will check out your chest and butt, legs and face. A lot of what you're also seeing is what we see as common person interaction. It isn't meant in a sexual context but when looked at harshly can be considered such.

Unless it is REALLY obvious and really bad, I would pay it no mind. Call them on it. "Eyes up here mister."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

What could they talk about that would interest you?

I don't know. Stuff that the men is not interested in at all anyway like books cooking board game learning skills on youtubes. It don't matter only thing they does is look sexually but they don't start conversation with me about anything unless related to department sales. They mostly ignores me for conversations. If they likes you they will come up and talk to you if they don't do that then they don't like you (but would be open to use the woman for sex if she is for that).

You and your counselor need to do some serious role playing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redlipsticklena

Hi, smoothy -- next time you want a response about me you should probably asks me don't you think. I am NOT lesbian and don't kno anything about lipstick whatevers. 'Lena' is a part of my first name. I am straight woman who is attracted to male. i do not talks to the males because i don't know what to say or anything like that. it makes no sense to me b/c of Asperger. if they don't talk to me then i don't talk to them.

I didn't call you one... just clarifying the coincidence of the simularity of your username to a term used by certain Lesbians. Ok... you are straight... I'm cool with that. Read my post you will see I didn't.

You don't HAVE to talk to everyone that talks to you, or looks at you. But the fact you get so freaked out that ANY person looks at another person and that normal adults might have normal sexual thoughts is the real problem here.

Heck... with half the people I may speak to in my life neither of us even knows the others name... nor do we even ask unless we know we will be dealing with each other in the future.

Heck I consider myself an average decent looking guy. No Adonis... but a lady friend of mine once pointed out how many women were actually looking at me when I wasn't looking (WAY more than I ever thought), went with her to the store when she was selecting a computer and wanted my expertise to help her decide... that was a compliment to me... not an insult.

What kind roleplaying. I am too embarrassed. We do a mocks interview and I hate it and refuse do that again. I am just embarrass to be seen anyway.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redlipsticklena

what kind roleplaying. i am too embarrassed. we do a mocks interview and i hate it and refuse do that again. i am just embarass to be seen anyways.

You and your counselor pretend you are at a social gathering. One of you be a man and the other one be you. Meet and have a conversation. Then trade places.

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

I didn't call you one.....just clarifying the coincidence of the simularity of your username to a term used by certain Lesbians. Ok...you are straight...I'm cool with that. Read my post you will see I didn't.

You don't HAVE to talk to everyone that talks to you, or looks at you. But the fact you get so freaked out that ANY person looks at another person and that normal adults might have normal sexual thoughts is the real problem here.

Heck...with half the people I may speak to in my life neither of us even knows the others name...nor do we even ask unless we know we will be dealing with each other in the future.

Heck I consider myself an average decent looking guy. No Adonis....but a lady friend of mine once pointed out how many women were actually looking at me when I wasn't looking (WAY more than I ever thought), went with her to the store when she was selecting a computer and wanted my expertise to help her decide....that was a compliment to me....not an insult.

I do not like it and it make me angry they are having 'sexual' thoughts and its obvious. Okay it is not right but I do not have any ways fixing it. My therapist is young, pretty, married lady with a hot husband. I am too embarrassed, she already think I am a freak as it is. Sigh

Maybe you feels it's a compliment and like it because you are a man. I do not understand it. It just make me feel sick. No offense I feel most of the men want to take sex advantage of women if that's possible for them.

Okay if this make sense. I wishes there were men who were not control by their penis/sexuality.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You and your counselor pretend you are at a social gathering. One of you be a man and the other one be you. Meet and have a conversation. Then trade places.

I am WAY to ashame to do that. She will be judging me and seeing how pathetic I am in that situation. A man come to me in a grocery store only one time last year and asks me my name. I don't know why. I got away from him in there. He was trying to embarrass me and other people were around and saw the whole thing happen. I just wanted to get out of there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redlipsticklena

my therapist is young, pretty, married lady with a hot husband.

And you are upset with what you think people are thinking about YOU??

Quote:

Originally Posted by redlipsticklena

i am WAY to ashame to do that. she will be judging me and seeing how pathetic i am in that situation. a man come to me in a grocery store only one time last year and asks me my name. i dont know why. i got away from him in there. he was trying to embarrass me and other people were around and saw the whole thing happen. i just wanted to get out of there.

If you don't roleplay and practice being in a social situation, you will never get past these paranoid ideas you have. I so want to call your counselor.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

And you are upset with what you think people are thinking about YOU????

Haha. Wondergirls you are a good person and its too bad you are not my counselors. What a shame. I mean I like my lady and everything.

It is true about her she's consider pretty. She look like jessica simpsons. I was embarrass when her husband come to the office. He tried to talk to me in there. He probably was compare me to his wife that is what men do. They compares the women body wise. I don't know why you don't care.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

If you don't roleplay and practice being in a social situation, you will never get past these paranoid ideas you have. I so want to call your counselor.

Why do you feels they are paranoid. You know for fact men compares women's bodies. Don't even try and lie about that one.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redlipsticklena

why do you feels they are paranoid. you know for fact men compares womens bodies. don't even try and lie about that one.

And you called your counselor's husband "hot."

Paranoia = everyone is against me, no one like me, I'm a failure

Quote:

Originally Posted by redlipsticklena

i do not like it and it make me angry they are having 'sexual' thoughts and its obvious. okay it is not right but i do not have any ways fixing it. my therapist is young, pretty, married lady with a hot husband. i am too embarrassed, she already think i am a freak as it is. sigh

maybe you feels it's a compliment and like it because you are a man. i do not understand it. it just make me feel sick. no offense i feel most of the men want to take sex advantage of women if that's possible for them.

okay if this make sense. i wishes there were men who were not control by their penis/sexuality.

Most women also take it as a complement..

You might also want to consider that if this therapist isn't working out you might want to try another. Its not unusual to find such a thing because certain styles work better with certain patients than others will.

Well, its NOT going to happen... guys always have and always will do it, women do the very same thing towards guys and they always have. In fact it happens everywhere else in the animal kingdom. Not just among humans. Just watch National geographic or enough wildlife shows and you will see.

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

Most women also take it as a complement..

You might also want to consider that if this therapist isn't working out you might want to try another. Its not unusually to find such a thing because certain styles work better with certain patients than others will.

Well, its NOT going to happen...guys always have and always will do it, women do the very same thing towards guys and they always have. In fact it happens everywhere else in the animal kingdom. Not just among humans. Just watch National geographic or enough wildlife shows and you will see.

You're about to get reddied in broken English.

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

Most women also take it as a complement..

You might also want to consider that if this therapist isn't working out you might want to try another. Its not unusual to find such a thing because certain styles work better with certain patients than others will.

Well, its NOT going to happen...guys always have and always will do it, women do the very same thing towards guys and they always have. In fact it happens everywhere else in the animal kingdom. Not just among humans. Just watch National geographic or enough wildlife shows and you will see.

I do thebest I can. I have some problem with my eye sight/motor skills from a brain injury when I was a child I fell head firsts off a scooter . I don't care nothing about people making fun of mefor it. If anyone is displaying desperation for attention it's them at this moment, if they have better thing to do, they'd be doing them by now, LOL...

Anyway -- I have a gone to different therapist before and I cannot switch again because of my insurance is limited. I do not believe in the CBT therapy she have been doing with me for al ong time now. I think it's bogus.

Sometime I would like to try to goes on just one date in my life. But then again I am very disgusted by the mens pursuance of sex. It is something that cannot be gotten around I suppose just like you said its all over animal kingdom. I don't belong here then.

Tell me one CBT technique she has used with you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Tell me one CBT technique she has used with you.

She do a positive affirmation and I am suppose say them everyday in the mirror and I did it and stop for 2 days. It's really stupid and make no sense.

Another thing we do is she tell me stop think negative and change it around. Instead of saying I will never gets a job say I will get a job if I keeps applying. She say if I keep saying I will not get hired then that's what's going to happen then.

Whatever. I don't even believe anyone will ever hires me and (again she say that's negative thinking). I don't care anymore. Common sense and no reason believe otherwise wonder girl.

So have you been applying for jobs?

Yes I apply for jobs every other day. Last two week I have applied for 14 jobs. Sometime I cannot applies because of 2 reasons: I am too scared when I reads the descrpition then start thinking I cannot do it and will not be liked when I go there. And 2, sometime it's the same jobs over and over again that's getting posted. They always email me and say they have picked someone else that's better then me for the job :(

Do you have a job coach?