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-   -   My job is making me depressed (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=827020)

  • Aug 17, 2016, 09:11 AM
    Jess-Louise
    My job is making me depressed
    I wasn't sure where to put this!

    Hello I would be very grateful if I could get some advice here, sorry this will be quite long.

    I started my 16 hour contract with a retail company in 2015, I didn't really want a job that was part time as I've always been after a full time job and have been looking for 5 or more years. So when the position came up I decided to go for it for the time being so I could have a bit of extra money to get me by while I carried on looking for a job with more hours. I haven't got much more but I have always believed in paying things by myself.

    The first problem is that they keep putting me on silly 3 hour shifts and making me work 4/5 days a week, I strongly believe that this is a bit over the top! I live quite a long walk away as well and can't afford to get public transport and I don't drive so it's a bit rubbish in bad weather. I feel like I have a full time job sometimes with all the getting ready and travelling but without the money! I also would like to enjoy working part time while it lasts by having more days off because really I want to work full time! I'd of thought it would have been like 2 days a week, 8 hours each but nope!

    Another concern of mine is that we are supposed to get one weekend off in every 4 but for some reason I seem to have to wait longer to get a weekend off. I got so mad about it, I decided to opt out of Sundays just so I could enjoy at least one weekend day off. It didn't change much as I am still on more Saturdays than everyone else.

    I finally ended up getting a 28 hour job offer, I handed my notice in and was ready for it. My current employer started trying to scare me into staying with them by saying I could stay with them for another month on Sundays (surprise surprise) as well as start my new job to see what it was like and I could have my old contract back if it didn't work out. I also had my of a supervisor (she's really got it in for me) saying in all the years she's worked there no one has ever been offered this opportunity you know trying to mess with my head. I agreed to it just in case even though I really didn't want to do it and knew I needed to leave because of how depressed they had been making me feel.

    Unfortunately the new employer rang me a day before my notice ran out to tell me that they would be a delay in my start date, I was going to start the week after but they wanted me to wait another week after that. I decided to ask my current employer if I could stay for an extra week as I would be without a wage for 2 weeks and the supervisor made out that she couldn't put me in the rota because she had shared my hours out between the other employees. Obviously I started really panicking at this point and decided to ask to retract my notice and as simple as that they threw my notice away and offered to keep me on but still made out they couldn't put me in the following week.

    My manager, supervisor and myself had a meeting about me staying with them so I asked to have the week I wasn't working as a holiday so I wouldn't be out of pocket and my manager was a bit funny with this and said all he's heard about all week is myself going on about leaving then staying then wanting the week I was off as a holiday.

    Anyway he brought up me opting back into Sundays and was like "If you do i'll give you this week you're off as a holiday I can't be anymore fairer than this". I told him I didn't really want to cause I was busy on Sundays and I already worked loads of Saturdays without my entitled weekend off! My supervisor decided to butt in and said she does try and give everyone their weekends off but it doesn't always work like that. Funny thing is though some people get more than one off so why am I working so many? My manager told me if I opted back in it wouldn't be all the time so I reluctantly agreed to it.

    Guess what my rota is even worse than ever now, I'm already in 2 Sundays this rota and I will be missing my weekend off again. It's really starting to get to me now, I feel like I have no social life and I have just moved in a new home with my boyfriend and we haven't even had chance to enjoy it together yet because when I'm off he's at work. I just feel like I'm being taken for a mug and wish I went for this new job I just couldn't afford to mess around with jobs!

    One of my rotas for this month is Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday so I have one day off on Wednesday. I wouldn't be so bothered if I got more hours for working all these days but they are all like 3, 4 and 5 hour shifts. I just feel so crap that I'm so poor and I'm expected to have no social life on the top of this :(

    Is they any kind of place I can go to, to discuss myself being treated unfairly in the work place, honestly it is making me feel so miserable.

    Thanks for reading :)
  • Aug 17, 2016, 01:37 PM
    joypulv
    FIRST - What's happening with the new job, that was expected to start 2 weeks after you left the old job?

    Of course everything is worse at the job you quit. That's the way it goes. I hope they didn't say something unfair about you to the new employer. Panicking was a mistake. You are sounding and acting desperate. Your story here is much too long and full of things that don't matter as far as advice goes. No, there is no place to go to discuss unfair treatment. You begged for your job back and it's part time, and now they have you over a barrel.

    What would I do? What I have done, many times in my 70 years and 37 jobs - QUIT and be POOR. I'll bet anything you can be poorer than you are now for 2 weeks. You don't spend a dime on ANYTHING except groceries and your share of rent. The end!
  • Aug 17, 2016, 01:42 PM
    Jess-Louise
    No I was meant to start a new job but they kept delaying my start date so I retracted my notice where I was working before and I am still there now, I'm saying the rota in place is unfair to myself because they have me working most weekends when we are meant to get 1 off in every 4, and they make me do silly shifts, and I did say it was going to be long
  • Aug 17, 2016, 02:18 PM
    Alty
    Welcome to retail. Most times there aren't enough staff to cover the shifts needed, and everyone wants weekends off, but the store is open on weekend, and staff is needed to run it. As a whole retail staff is flighty, staying for a few months until something better comes along, which means it's a great place to get hired, but also a place were you'll have to work days you don't want to, because there's rarely enough staff.

    I've worked retail, worked 7 days a week 8 hours a day, and I applied for part time, no weekends, and made it clear that if I couldn't and wouldn't work weekends, so if they hired me, they were agreeing to that. I was hoping for 20 hours or less a week. I got 56 hours a week because people came and went so often that there was never the staff to cover shifts. That's retail.

    Bottom line, if you can't or won't work when you're given shifts, then quit and find a place that's 9-5 Monday through Friday.

    The things you're complaining about are nonsense! You quit, and then because the new job will take a week longer to start, you want the old job to put you into the roster for the week you asked not to work, and you're mad because they can't? Seriously? Whose shifts are they supposed to take away so you can work for an extra week before you start your new job? Who are they supposed to screw so you don't get screwed because it will take an extra week to start your new job?

    Really?

    Suck it up!
  • Aug 17, 2016, 03:28 PM
    Jess-Louise
    Let me get one thing straight I don't mind working weekends but when I'm told I'm meant to get one off every four and don't get it I'm bound do be a bit annoyed by it and looking at everyone else's rota they don't make it fair, point is I don't want to be taken for a mug, I came onto this page for advice not for judgement!
  • Aug 17, 2016, 04:11 PM
    Cat1864
    This is posted under Emotional Well-being which is a category for emotional issues. If you are depressed and looking for help coping with depression and/or other emotional/mental issues, look into therapists and counselors. Venting with a friend can also be a way to work through your frustration.

    If you are actually looking for advice on Labor Relations, that is a very different problem with very different advice.

    Frankly, you have two choices. Keep working there and talk to your manager about your schedule or quit.

    You seem to make a big deal about the number of hours and days. Saying that you have no life outside of work, getting to work and getting ready for work. Perhaps you need to look at what you are doing and see if there are other options that might work better. Do you need to spend as much time getting ready for work? Would getting a bike and riding it to work save you time? Is there a different route to work that is shorter? Can you carpool with another person?
  • Aug 17, 2016, 04:18 PM
    joypulv
    You still are very confusing about the new job.
    They postponed it one week, and then two?
    THEN WHAT?
    Do you want that job if it's still there for you?
    HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN since they offered the job?
    HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN since you went back and asked for your old job back?
    It is very frustrating to read a whole bunch of stuff that doesn't help us for giving advice.
  • Aug 17, 2016, 04:27 PM
    Jess-Louise
    Finally someone who has offered advice instead of giving me a hard time lol thank you!

    I have considered getting a bike but I'd have to save up for quite a while. I am currently suffering with anxiety and depression anyway.

    I am seeking another job as we speak, it's bloody hard out there! I know for sure if anything else comes up I'll be straight there!

    I am genuinely very unhappy where I work at the moment not just because my rota is unfair but because a lot of people I work with don't seem to get on with me and I don't know why, I am a very nice person and get on with anyone. There's also a guy there who bugs me to death and won't let me get on with my work. He embarrasses me in front of customers as well by calling me miserable etc.

    I am going to speak to my manager once he gets back from his holiday even though I have brought it up a few times, he was actually confused as to why I hadn't been getting my weekend off.

    I am also down because I feel like I don't see my boyfriend much and it's taking its toll on us because we never get to plan anything with me working most weekends as he works all week. I am very bored of my life at the moment because I feel like I'm just working to pay the bills sigh

    I'll have to grin and bear it until something else comes up x

    Sorry my new job was meant to start on the first of August and I was going to work at another branch until the new store near me was opened.

    After I gave my weeks notice after being given the go ahead by the new employer they rang me a day before it was due to end to tell me that they had found asbestos in the new building and that they couldn't start me for another week.

    I'd of been a weeks short of pay plus the week in hand making it 2 weeks with no income.

    I asked for my old job back a day before my notice ended with my current employer but really I wasn't asking for my old job back because I was still on the books. I'm sorry to be so confusing just when something is bothering me I struggle to explain myself because my mind gets all over the place as I suffer from depression and anxiety
  • Aug 17, 2016, 05:29 PM
    joypulv
    I just don't understand why you ditched the new employer. They were offering you an extra 12 hours a week, so it makes no sense to me why you went back, unless it would be to fill in for 2 weeks.
    A loss of 2 weeks x 16 = 32 hours. An extra 12 hours a week covers that 32 hours in less than 3 weeks at the new job.
    But even if all that isn't doable, you could just ask your old employer to keep you on for 2 more weeks, and you grin and bear the hours they give you.
    So...
    If I were you, I would ask the new employer if the job is there. What am I missing?
  • Aug 17, 2016, 05:53 PM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    I'll have to grin and bear it until something else comes up x
    That sounds like the most reasonable adjustment to make, rather than trying to get everyone and everything around you to adjust to what you want. Seldom works like that in life. I get though, that anxieties and depression, and general dissatisfaction can be a real downer, but I think if you see this as a temporary and short term discomfort to be endured then your wait for things to level out will be much more bearable. We all go through these tough wacky times and we get through it, because a few rough days is not the end of the world, and toughing it out makes you stronger, and better for the experience, and better days will be even sweeter.

    So take your own advice and in a few weeks you may wonder what the fuss was all about because those weekend plans can finally be made. Good luck and hang in there! It will get better you just have to keep working at it until it does.
  • Aug 17, 2016, 10:56 PM
    Jess-Louise
    Right I'm already in debt and couldn't afford to go 2 weeks without any income plus I've just moved into a new home with my boyfriend, the new place isn't even open yet so I'd of been waiting even longer! What part of I couldn't afford to go without any wages for that long do you not understand
  • Aug 18, 2016, 12:59 AM
    Jess-Louise
    I just want a bit more fairness at work is that too much to ask for? :( why should I be the one to do all the bad shifts when we work on a rota system that is meant to be equally shared out so that we take turns? But it's not they just seem to use me to fill the shifts that everyone hates! I just want the odd weekend off just so I can actually plan something for once obviously that's too much to ask for to I really don't care about working some weekends but to work more than anyone else it sucks
  • Aug 18, 2016, 01:37 AM
    joypulv
    I don't understand why you didn't ask to extend your time (or pretend to go back) at the old job AND take the new job (quitting the old one a second time). If they are so unfair to you, why not?

    What part of that do you not want to explain?

    You want fairness at work but we can't make them give it to you. You don't have a legal case in court. If we are here to give concrete, usable advice, my advice is to TAKE THE NEW JOB NOW!
  • Aug 18, 2016, 01:53 AM
    Jess-Louise
    Okay I felt bad on my manager because at the time I thought he was doing me a favour, I would like to go for the new job but I have a feeling it may be too late plus I can't help thinking it's a little too soon to hand my notice in again I don't know what to do :( the new place is around the corner and still isn't open so it would have been another weeks wait anyway
  • Aug 18, 2016, 02:29 AM
    joypulv
    Wow... I still don't get it. If an employer is being unfair, you don't worry about giving notice, you just say you quit and walk out the door. If a new job looks good and has more hours, you keep checking on it, not guess. From here, it looks like you are torturing yourself for no reason. Now you are feeling bad about the manager? STOP IT. This is business. Their primary concern is the business, not you. No one did you a favor. They only took you back because it was to their advantage and because you let them make you work those horrible schedules all for a few hours a day.
    CALL THE NEW JOB PEOPLE. Today. How can it be too late if they are still not open? You probably aren't the only person they lost. Good grief.
    YES, you will be playing both jobs against each other. That is not bad.
    When the new place is actually calling you in to work, quit the old one. And yes, by law, the do have to pay you.
  • Aug 18, 2016, 04:57 AM
    smoothy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Jess-Louise View Post
    I just want a bit more fairness at work is that too much to ask for? :( why should I be the one to do all the bad shifts when we work on a rota system that is meant to be equally shared out so that we take turns? But it's not they just seem to use me to fill the shifts that everyone hates! I just want the odd weekend off just so I can actually plan something for once obviously that's too much to ask for to I really don't care about working some weekends but to work more than anyone else it sucks

    If you expect "fairness at work" you aren't EVER going to be happy.

    It's a job... you work for them, they own the business, you don't so you really don't get to have things the way you want. In fact, the easier you are to replace, the less control you have over anything. And in Retail, you are really, REALLY easy to replace.

    You've actually been getting very good advice from the others here.

    Really hate to be so blunt... but you do way too much whining. You won't last long anyplace because they want people ready to do what needs done, and not people that complain about everything. Just being honest... nobody I have seen like that has lasted long at any employer I have ever worked for. They find reasons to get rid of them, or make things so unpleasant they quit on their own.

    And about weekends off? I've got 35 years experience... an Engineering degree, working in a job with such high requirements for previous work knowledge its VERY difficult to find qualified people... and I still have ZERO say in weekends off. In fact I rarely ever have a weekend off. Right now I'd be happy to have two days off even if it was the middle of the week.

    Seriously... you need to reassess your life, and your expectations in a job. It really does sound like you've been working less than a year TOTAL.

    And in the work place... Seniority rules... The new hires don't get the prime days or anything. The people there the longest get those... and that's how its been everyplace I've worked, union or non-union. Its not fair to the people who have been there for years for the new person to get the good days or hours.

    We have a phrase for that. We call it paying your dues.

    When you have been someplace long enough...you are going to understand it, and why it really IS the fair way.
  • Aug 22, 2016, 12:09 PM
    Alty
    Smoothy hit the nail on the head and then some!

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