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conundrum1 · Oct 30, 2011, 08:29 AM

We have deep connection, we enjoy sharing time and being together, we know our situation is complicated, we just simply get rejuvination from being together... We like each other very much... my marriage have some issues- would not see him if going well in the first place... we have been seeing. Talking and spending time together for 9 months now... we do not know what the future holds... We just want to enjoy what we have when we get the chance... shall I continue this uncommitted and undefined relationship?

JudyKayTee · Oct 30, 2011, 08:36 AM

Your "deep connection" is requiring both of you to lie to your partner. How comfortable are you with that?

It's a very bad idea to get involved with a new man before the issues with the "old" man are resolved. Running from your husband's arms into someone else's can backfire and devastate you emotionally.

If your marriage is over get a divorce and get into a relationship with this "new" man - of course, I don't know what he's going to do about the girlfriend. That's his choice.

And keep in mind - if he lies to her, he's also capable of lying to you.

I suspect you know all of this or you wouldn't be "here," asking this question.

gissoo · Nov 15, 2011, 09:42 AM

I think you better close one door and open another one. How would you feel if your husband did the same to you? Even if you have issues together. You will have karma for doing that and I bet you never will find true love , of course if your looking for that. If you just want to have fun, others will have fun with you and leave you.
I believe in karma and I know what you do come back to you and your life. So make the right decision. Good luck

nessa600 · Nov 25, 2011, 05:15 AM

No one knows what the future holds for any of us, just live for today and be happy, as for being married, if you were happy in marriage you wouldn't be seeing this other person in such a way. Do you have children? Things are always a little more complicated when children are involved as it's not only your own feelings and concequences you have to consider. I have been in a marriage where there were issues, I did leave my husband, but not for anyone else, just for the fact that I felt we were together for the kids an that was it... which doesn't work. You need to consider whether you and your husband have a future and if you do then how you go about working through it and talking, if that's not what you want then only you know this, but I think the main thing is... be true to yourself because you won't be happy until you are xx

Fr_Chuck · Nov 25, 2011, 06:36 AM

You either leave your husband, or be faithful and start trying to make it better, as long as you are cheating you will not make it work.

Jake2008 · Nov 25, 2011, 07:01 AM

For nine months, you have been cheating on your husband, and you are 'the other woman' to a man already in a relationship.

These two negatives, do not equal anything positive.

You feel rejuvinated with this cheating man, when you cheat with him, while he cheats on his girlfriend.

I hope that there aren't children involved in this mess and you are lying or using them too, to see this man.

It is pretty obvious what you need to do, and it has nothing to do with what you are doing now.

There is never ANY good reason to cheat. You cannot justify it by saying your marriage has 'problems'. You cannot justify stabbing another woman in the back either.

You are living a lie, and I think you know very well what you should do, but after 9 months, and you can maintain justifying an affair such as you have, I'm out of words to convince you, to do the right thing.

Don't be surprised if 'doing the right thing' by dropping the boyfriend, and confessing everything to your husband, won't put your husband (finally) in a position, where HE can decide if he want's to stay with you...

kitimaru · Jun 14, 2012, 12:30 PM

I've never been married or engaged. But I think that cheating on your husband is B.S. You should figure out things between you and him before you let another guy into the picture or you could destroy both relationships and end up alone... It may not be a bad thing to be single and alone for awhile. In Psychology I have learned about feelings being passed from one person to another.

Why are you unhappy with your husband?

Think about whether it's worth ruining a marriage and think about whether it is just because there is so much mystery in this new guy.

I have been with the same guy for over a year and things had been miserable for me the passed few months. I can't tell you when the feelings faded or when I started wanting to leave him.

The point is, new relationships are fun because you are still getting to know each other. Living together and splitting bills and sharing money can make relationships tough.

Figure out what's wrong with your marriage and try and spice things up.
Do you feel your husband is cheating on you? How would you feel if he was cheating on you?