Hey, I want to tell a little tale about a friend I had. My story will be biased because I hate her now. But ever since this friendship I have felt very alone, and I am too afraid to trust other people. I have lost most of my good friends and my boyfriend had to move away. Sorry this is long, and sorry it is biased. I will try to be completely honest.
I am 17 almost 18. I met Lacey when I just turned 16. She had been dating John for a year and a half. I met them together. The three of us were really close, those two were my closest friends. Then they broke up. Lacey asked to stay at my house the night it happened, I needed to be there for her, though I had never really known how to have "girlfriend" time - I have always lived with and gotten a long with guys. She laughed with me, didn't cry. Said she missed having sex with him, told me she was pregnant. I told her to stop smoking pot and drinking, and she didn't. But I also smoked pot with her, so I guess I can't put the blame. But I never let her drink. Her mom got married and moved in with her new husband. Lacey and I bonded, she never really cried over John, we just hung out and laughed. I assumed if she wanted to talk about it, she would. She them miscarried, still expressing no grief.
Her step dad didn't like her and kicked her out, she moved in with me. We were best friends by this point, and I had never had a best friend before. My dad was always my best friend, and I went through boyfriends like shoes, but I was very popular and had lots of friends. She started to get on my nerves, she would boss me around and bluntly end conversations by replying to a statement with "I know". She found some place else to move in, with more room (I have a teeny house). She moved in there and her and John started talking again. Well, more like ****ing. But she hung around his group of friends, and quite forcefully tried to mend their relationship. I could tell he didn't enjoy it, because him and I always understood each other, we were close and bonded well. But yet he would accept the sex.
Keep in mind that during the period between breaking up and having sex again, she had sex with about four different guys. She told me about them with fleeing laughter as if it was nothing. She would also ditch me to hang out with them, even though we were best friends.
Her and I started hanging out less, she found a good friend named Bill that would always smoke her out and he really liked her. She told me she didn't sleep with him, but I knew her so well I could tell that was a lie, and it later turned out that I was right. I felt lonely because I sort of put a halt on my social life because I became so obsessed with my best friend. With her, I didn't need a boyfriend, I didn't need sex, I just needed someone to share my adventures with.
But she still annoyed me. One night, I made a very big mistake. I kissed John. The next morning I told Lacey right away, I apologized. I realized I made a mistake and I admitted to it and said sorry, I took whatever came next because I felt like I deserved it. She called me names, threatened to punch me and stuff. She didn't, when I saw her she just cried a lot. I didn't know if I should comfort her. She said I should. Lacey cried and told me she missed John with all her heart, and she just wanted him to love her. She told me that she started doing hard drugs (she said she started with speed and reached meth) with Bills older sister. She said with her when she was high she could forget about everything. Lacey said that with Bills older sister, high on meth, she burned the pictures of her baby in her belly. She told me she missed her mom being a mom and that the baby was her only connection to John.
I felt even worse than before. She had never expressed any of this prior.
I made another mistake. She told me I could never see John again. I always hated her rules. I kept seeing John, but only in friendly ways because he was in my circle of friends. I told her that and she got mad.
After her episode, she snapped right back into her regular self, just bam! From crying to happy. We smoked a bowl. I was phased. I felt so guilty. Then, I went to camp. I came back and she was having sex with my brother, and had stolen my clothes. I later found out that her pregnancy and her heavy drug use was a lie. I confronted her on having sex with my brother and she remained silent (not responding to my texts, not picking up her phone or ignoring me in person). So I went to my brother, he threw things at me and called me a *****. Then all three of us sat down. I asked her if she took my feelings into consideration. She said, "I told your brother to tell you but he didn't want to, we kept our relationship quiet this whole summer because we didn't want you to know, we know its awkward." My brother really wants us to be friends, but I can't be. Ive never hated someone so much, and I've never been so angry in my life.
Now she lives with me basically and still steals my clothes, no matter how many times I confront her about it, tell my Dad and my brother, it continues. I hate coming home because I hate seeing her, I just sit alone in my room and listen to them ****. I can never trust a friend again.
I just want to know that I am not completely shattered, that I can still express myself to people, and have a sweet, funny personality without being walked on. I feel so manipulated and lied to. I hate my life so much because of her.