Holding a child back, pros and cons
Hello. I need some advice from those who have been there - done that or not done that.
Here is my situation.
My daughter is 6 years old and is in the first grade. She has a summer birthday and so she is a very young first grader. She made our cut off by 2 weeks when she started kindergarten. The school is now talking about holding her back from moving on to the 2nd grade because her reading skills are not at the appropriate level. They think it is strictly an age thing. They do not think she has a learning disability. They think she is academically immature. They are putting a "team" together that is going to sit down with us and have a talk about what should happen next.
However, she is excelling at everything else. We do not want her to be held back and have expressed that to her teacher. We do know that whatever decision is made - it will be ours in the end.
She reads to us every night and then we read to her. We have hired a tutor for her this summer. She is currently in a special reading class at school - but we are pulling her out because she has not improved and some of the things they teach are actually hindering her performance in other areas.
I believe it will do more harm than good to hold her back - socially and mentally.
I guess my question is - have you held your kid back? Are you happy you did? Were you faced with the option and chose not to? Are you happy with that decision?
I am sure our minds are made up - but I would like some feed back from those who have been in our shoes.
What to do when a compromise isn't possible
Hi. I don't know if I have a question or just need to vent.
My husband and I are on the road to recovery after his affair. (if you are familiar with me - then you know the story) We are doing really good. We are talking - communicating better.
We have a daughter that is in 1st grade. She is a young 1st grader - she made the cut off by 2 weeks. Her teacher/school wants to hold her back and let her repeat the 1st grade. We have a meeting scheduled for this week to talk to the teacher, principal and special ed teacher. (It's a "team" and everyone has to meet with them if retention is an issue) She is very bright and has done well this year but is behind in her reading skills. They think she is just young and is academically immature. Well, up until 3 weeks ago, my husband and I were on the same page about this issue. We were not going to hold her back. We are getting her a tutor this summer to catch her up and all should be fine. Well... her math is starting to slip. They are working on harder things and she just isn't getting it. So, I am worried. I am beginning to wonder if maybe we should hold her back. We are also planning a move down south and decided that she would be held back down there - because their cut off date is a 2 months before ours - so she would be in a class with older kids and be farther behind due to the school system.
My thoughts were to just take advantage of the opportunity and hold her back.
My husband says absouletly not. Will not even entertain it. He said that in life - we don't get do overs. Blah Blah Blah.
I am trying to get my point across and so is he. We can't seem to meet in the middle.
What do you do when there is no compromise? We either hold her back or not. THere is no middle ground. We got into an argument this evening and nothing was resolved. I want to go into this meeting together on this subject - on way or the other.
Like I said - I don't know if there is a question here or not. I just don't know what to do. I have pleaded my case and told him all of the reasons I want to hold her back and he just says NO.