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-   -   Separation Anxiety (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=457955)

  • Mar 15, 2010, 02:44 PM
    Emily94
    Separation Anxiety
    Hello,
    This weekend I went away for hockey provincials, and had to leave my dog behind. When I got back my mom said that all he did was cry at my bedroom door, when she let him in my room he laid on my bed and whimpered. He didn't eat or drink. There is also two other dogs here which he usually plays with all the time and when I was away he wouldn't play at all. He also wouldn't go to the bathroom. When I got home he wouldn't leave my side at all!
    I am extremely worried to leave him again.
    Does anyone know what might help?
  • Mar 15, 2010, 07:14 PM
    FadedMaster

    I run into this since my dog actually lives with my parents, and where I rent a Labrador is too large of a dog. So whenever I'm about to leave my parents house, I make sure he is calm. I put him in his kennel and do not leave until he has calmed down.

    I do this same thing when I arrive. I do not enter his eyesight until he has calmed down. Usually upon seeing me he gets excited and I do not let him out until he calms down.

    It takes a lot of time and patience.
  • Mar 15, 2010, 07:20 PM
    Aurora_Bell

    My favorite is protocols for relaxation and deference. It works for ANY type of separation anxiety or aggressive behavior.

    Douglas Island Veterinary Service - Training

    Protocol for relaxation

    These 2 websites are very detailed and will help you with the techniques. It's the same stuff you would be doing with a behaviorist, and is really just elaborating on Faded Masters reply.
  • Mar 16, 2010, 09:40 AM
    Lucky098

    It doesn't sound like separation anxiety. Separation anxiety is usually more destructive and irritating. Sounds like your dog is just love sick and missed you. Most people don't realize, but dogs do bond very close with their people. Sounds like your dog just noticed you were gone and was mourning the loss of a pack member. Now, that you're back, your dog doesn't want to keep you out of his sight. However, this could very easily form into separation anxiety if you allow it.

    Good methods to overcome separation anxiety is to leave... then come back... then leave again... then come back a couple minutes later. Ignore all his whining. Don't allow him to demand a pet (Where she shoves his head under your hand or stares at you until you pet him). Any time of controlling mechanism that he'll try and get you to do, ignore it. Everything is on your terms. Not his.
  • Mar 16, 2010, 11:17 AM
    Aurora_Bell

    There are many different forms of separation anxiety, not just destructive ones.
  • Mar 16, 2010, 02:15 PM
    Emily94
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Lucky098 View Post
    It doesnt sound like separation anxiety. Separation anxiety is usually more destructive and irritating. Sounds like your dog is just love sick and missed you. Most people dont realize, but dogs do bond very close with their people. Sounds like your dog just noticed you were gone and was mourning the loss of a pack member. Now, that you're back, your dog doesnt want to keep you out of his sight. However, this could very easily form into separation anxiety if you allow it.

    Good methods to overcome separation anxiety is to leave... then come back... then leave again... then come back a couple mins later. Ignore all his whining. Dont allow him to demand a pet (Where she shoves his head under your hand or stares at you until you pet him). Any time of controling mechanism that he'll try and get you to do, ignore it. Everything is on your terms. Not his.

    I leave for school, and to go out for awhile with friends, he doesn't seem to mind as much. It's when he has to sleep alone he gets sad...
  • Mar 16, 2010, 03:45 PM
    Lucky098

    Dogs don't exhibit human emotion. If you think your dog is developing some type of anxiety, then you need to speak with a behaviorist. Aurora_bell is right, there are a tone of different types of anxiety dogs can exibit. (My specialty is the destructive type :).. Joy!)... Only a behaviorist will be able to tell you how severe, what type and what types of medications or methods that will work for your dog.

    Still doesn't sound like separation anxiety to me.. even in its mildest form.
  • Mar 17, 2010, 04:44 PM
    Emily94

    If you don't think it is anxiety what would you suggest that it is? I'd rather have an idea and see if I can try and fix it myself than have someone do it for me.
  • Mar 17, 2010, 04:49 PM
    Aurora_Bell

    Check out the web site I suggested. Protocols for relaxation and deference. It's an at home guide for what you would be doing with a behaviorist. Even if it isn't separation anxiety, the routines will help with any "anxious" behaviours.
  • Mar 17, 2010, 06:24 PM
    Emily94

    Just to double check, the relaxation exercises is getting the dog to sit and stay and rewarding that (Sorry I may have misunderstood and just want it clarified) because if it is, my dog has no problem with that with or without a treat..
  • Mar 18, 2010, 05:07 AM
    Aurora_Bell

    It's not about if they can sit or not, it's about the mind frame. You are setting your dog up for success by helping him relax, which discourages any anxious behaviors. Yes it is boring, and long. But it works. It's not about doing tricks, it's a relaxation exercise, and it works.
  • Mar 18, 2010, 05:08 AM
    Aurora_Bell

    Oh did I mention it works? :p
  • Mar 18, 2010, 06:29 AM
    shazamataz

    Hey Aurora... does it work? :D
  • Mar 18, 2010, 08:39 AM
    Lucky098

    Please describe your dogs behaviors. Mourning for you when you leave doesn't qualify separation anxiety. My dog wimpers a little when I leave and gets extra excited when I come home and enjoys being in my company. She doesn't have separation anxiety. Basing this type of sickness on his behaviour after you have been gone for a week doesn't help.

    Are there other times that he acts like this?
  • Mar 18, 2010, 09:27 AM
    Aurora_Bell

    There are many problem behaviours associated with separation anxiety including but not limited to: defecation and urination in inappropriate locations, destructive behaviour, excessive barking and whining, depression, and hyperactivity. These behaviours may also be the symptoms of other problems. However, if undesired behaviours are clearly related to the absence of the owner, occur shortly after departure and a prolonged greeting response occurs upon the owner's return, separation anxiety is the probable cause.

    Every dog afflicted with separation anxiety reacts somewhat differently (Borchelt 1983). Some dogs only engage in one problem behaviour while others may engage in several. Many dogs can sense when their owner is leaving and become anxious even before the owner leaves the house.

    Other dogs become depressed and will not eat or drink while their owner is gone. This is especially detrimental if the owner is gone for an extended period. In rare cases, dogs will have diarrhea, vomit or engage in self-mutilation such as chewing on themselves or excessive licking after being left alone. Most affected dogs will become overly excited when the owner arrives home and will engage in an unusually prolonged greeting.

    Does this sound like what you experienced with your dog Emily?
  • Mar 18, 2010, 09:42 AM
    Emily94

    When I am away his behaviour consists of: Whining, NO desire to play or interact with anyone/thing, he jumps the fence(and then shows aggressive behaviour to anyone around him, including my mom when she tries to catch him) he chews off clumps of fur the point where is looks like he is balding, he won't eat, won't drink, and since I'm not there this is from what my mom has told me.
    When I am home: He loves to play with anything/anyone, he eats like a horse, drinks plenty of water, and the couple times he jumps the fence (I do not allow him outside alone because of this, but sometimes he does it while I am watching) I can walk up to him grab him and bring him to the yard without a single growl, and by chance if someone is out walking he sits in the driveway and just looks at them.

    If there are any other questions which might help in discovering what is wrong please just ask!
  • Mar 18, 2010, 09:55 AM
    Aurora_Bell

    Is he neutered and age?

    Have you thought about obedience classes? He sounds like he would LOVE the bonding experience between you two. The relaxation protocols are very boring, and monotonous, but Emily, they honestly do work. I am seeing a behaviorist right now for my dog. This the same stuff we are doing. I know it seems like just sitting, but it's so much more than just that. IT really puts your dog in a different frame of mind. Obedience is more than just learning tricks as well. The more commands your dog knows the happier and easier he will be to get along with. The destructive behaviors can be fixed with the protocols for relaxation and deference, same with the aggression issues.
    How much exercise is he getting and what does it entail? What is your daily routine with him like?
  • Mar 18, 2010, 10:42 AM
    Emily94

    Yes he was neutered 5 months ago, and he was a year in December. I've been to obedience but he really had no interest, he'd rather play with the other dogs than do anything else(at home he is fine, I go over his obedience with him quiet regularly).
    He is in the kennel while I'm away at school (8-4) so usually I try and give him as much excises as I can when I get home, usually we go for a walk (since it is mucky out it isn't very long at the moment), when we get home we play ball outside, Occasionally he goes to the dog park (use to be everyday, except now it is just a giant puddle), we also play catch in the house if it is miserable outside (don't tell my mom:) ) so he gets at least an hour of exercise with me a day, that doesn't include him just frolicking around with the two other dogs.
  • Mar 18, 2010, 11:04 AM
    Aurora_Bell

    That's great Emily. I know the weather isn't permitting, but at his age, he is going to be a little rambunctious, so YOU need to make sure he knows you are in control. It doesn't mean making him fear you or anything, but the obedience is a great start. Try the protocols, give it a month. It’s going to take some time too after getting neutered for him to calm down. However; if he is showing ANY sign of aggression you need to nip that in the bud ASAP. Aggression will continue to develop until they are about 5, and neutering doesn’t always fix that. It’s good that he is getting socialized with other dogs too. If you can when it starts to get nice out, take him to the dog park and practice your exercises with him there where there is plenty of distractions.
  • Mar 18, 2010, 11:16 AM
    Emily94

    He is not aggressive when I am home, he knows he'd get a mouth full, but when my mom or someone else is watching him, he is one peed off pup! I don't leave that often (especially overnight!) so I don't know how I could deal with that, simply because there is not very many times it happens. All I do is say "Bad dog"(I may say it a little louder than most people), and he runs into the house and into the kennel and he gets a little time out. It works to get him back in the yard. I never say "Bad dog" unless I am VERY mad, and he knows it usually it's just a simple no. He is a really good dog when I'm home but it is the exact opposite when I am gone, we cancelled our summer plans because we didn't want to leave him in a kennel in case he was to bite someone (Thank gosh he hasn't yet)
  • Mar 18, 2010, 11:27 AM
    Aurora_Bell

    Emily I can't stress it enough, try and see a behaviourist! I know I am being repetitive, but they will help you in so many ways. You can’t take the risk with an aggressive dog, and if you think he may bite someone, then yes he is aggressive. I just had to put one of my dogs down because he bit 2 people. He was VERY aggressive. I tried everything I could, but the fact was, I have a small child in my home, I just couldn’t take the risk of him biting her, or another small child, or anyone for that matter! Check out your local vet and see if there is anyone they can recommend for behaviour issues.

    On a lighter note, have any pics?? :D
  • Mar 18, 2010, 11:45 AM
    Emily94

    How much does a behavioursit cost? I will have to pay for it all myself, my moms little rule when I got my dog was she wasn't paying a dime (She sticks to it!).
    As for pictures yes!
  • Mar 18, 2010, 11:48 AM
    Emily94

    Hmm I don't think the pictures are working :(
  • Mar 18, 2010, 11:53 AM
    Aurora_Bell

    They can cost anywhere's from $200-$500! But if you start with those relaxation protocols, I can almost grantee that you will see results. Check with Bark Busters, they have an extremely high success rate, they ARE expensive, but you will have a membership for the rest of your life, so if anything else pops up, they will come to your home and help you correct it. My behaviourist has me on a payment plant. I basically pay $130 every 8 weeks. We are also working on level 2 obedience as well as the separation anxiety corrections. So in comparison, if you were to pay $400 with Bark Busters and have them work with your dog we will say for (based on my program of 5 levels of 8 week obedience classes and the protocols) 40 weeks, at $130/week, I’m spending $1,040! You’re definitely getting a better deal! The only reason I chose the route I am going is because I had a bad experience with the woman in my area for Bark Busters, and my friend is the trainer I am using now.
  • Mar 18, 2010, 11:56 AM
    Emily94

    Oh wow.
    Dogs are costly.
    Guess I better start saving, maybe sell my arm or something :)
  • Mar 18, 2010, 12:08 PM
    Aurora_Bell

    Or your first born! JUST KIDDING! ;)

    I know they are expensive. Start with the relaxation protocols, it's basically what the first two weeks of behaviour Mod are all about. If I can find my other work sheets, I'll copy them and send them to you. (if you want them)
  • Mar 18, 2010, 12:19 PM
    Emily94

    Please do!
    It isn't very bad yet, so maybe with a lot of answers from you guys I can stop it before I sell my arm(I kind of like my arm).
  • Mar 23, 2010, 04:09 PM
    Emily94

    Kay so, pretty sure I found why my dog has become aggressive more lately. Maybe I should make this a new question, maybe not. Anyway, the way my house is set up my sister and I have half, and my mom has half (obviously everyone goes everywhere, but our stuff stays on our side, including our 2 dogs) my moms boyfriend rarely ever comes to our side of the house, but he decided he wanted to yesterday. My dog decided he was going to run away crying and lay under my bed for 2 hours whimpering. He wouldn't even come out for a carrot(VERY rare thing, he loves them), when ever my moms boyfriend comes home my dog barks, growls, and then when my moms boyfriend comes in, he runs into my room crying. My moms boyfriends is taunting my dog now, he knows he makes him upset, so he purposely runs at my dog when my dog is doing nothing wrong(Usually I do this if he is eating something he shouldn't, it gets his attention more than anything Ive tried). I just realized all of this happening, I am not usually home when my moms boyfriend is. But lately I've been staying home more and more, and I talked to my mom thinking her boyfriend might be hitting my dog, and she said she asked(If he wasn't why would both my mom and I think this?) him already and he said no. Well despite what he said, I believe he is 100% hitting my dog! He has lied before, and I don't feel bad labeling him a liar, and not believing anything he says! Now my question is.. what can I do!
    PS- I doubt it is because he is a guy, or the way he looks, or the way he smells, because when he first moved in Duke was fine around him.
  • Mar 23, 2010, 04:26 PM
    Aurora_Bell

    Oh no! This is awful! Actions like that will definitely create fear in your dog, leading him to be aggressive. When dogs attack it's usually out if fear.

    The worst part is until you catch him doing it, there is nothing you can do. But as soon as you do catch him you can call the police, or the SPCA or even animal control.

    Is there anyway you can keep your side of the house locked to him? Or even a room while you are away. Have you told him to stop charging at you dog? Your mom should request that he change his immature behaviour as well! I'd hate to see your dog turn around and bite him. Animal abusers are right up there with child abusers to me. If he hits a defenceless animal, who else will he hit?
  • Mar 23, 2010, 04:39 PM
    Emily94

    Since this I have locked my dog in my room when I am away, but if I am away for long periods (like school) my dog will pee in his kennel, so I have to leave him out so my mom can let him out. I've brought it up more than once, and it ALWAYS ends in a fight between him and my mom. He's rude, and nothing anyone can say will change his mind. If I call someone about it, will my dog be taken away from me?(I am underage)..
  • Mar 23, 2010, 04:45 PM
    Aurora_Bell

    Geeze, I don't know if your dog would be taken away. But they might fine or repremend your moms boyfriend if you report him. I really don't know the answer to that one :(

    If I were in your shoes, and this is stricktly my opinion only, I would rather clean up pee in a kennel, than have a scared, aggressive dog.

    Maybe you could take him for a short walk in the morning before school? So he empty's his bladder. COuldn't your mom put him back in the kennel after she lets him out for a pee? Does she have a key to your room?
  • Mar 23, 2010, 04:49 PM
    Emily94

    My mom doesn't have the key, she did, but her boyfriend used to take it and snoop in my room (Yeah real catch she has here). Its not only the pee in the kennel, but all over him, and depeding when he peed, it could be on him for 8 hours, I'm assuming that would be bad. If I was to call whomever regarding this (SPCA, Police, etc) could I simply ask what would happen? Or would they take that as a complaint?
    If they will take him away, Duke and I can take a nice vacay to grandmas... until my moms boyfriend leaves.

    Also in the morning I let him out when I wake up 5:45, and let him in around 7-7:30, so he gets time to pee before I leave. I also don't give him water first thing in morning, my mom usually gives him some after I leave.
  • Mar 23, 2010, 04:53 PM
    Aurora_Bell

    I would call. First call the SPCA or animal control ask them what they think, if you can't get anything, call the police, ask them what their course of action is for animal abuse.

    Now with out seeing him actually hitting your dog, you are going to have to give a very convincing case about him scaring your dog. Explain what is happening and ask them what they would or could do. You don't have to say it's your family, you can say it's "for a friend".

    I hope your mom sees him for wehat he sounds like he is, an immature jerk! Is your sister in school too?
  • Mar 23, 2010, 05:01 PM
    Emily94

    Yeah, my sister is in school from 11:30-3:30.

    I'm going to be honest, I don't want to call anyone in case Duke gets taken away, I can't sleep if he is not with me.

    For now, until I catch him hitting Duke, I'm going to lock Duke in my room. I'm just wondering, is there anything I can put in his kennal to absorb the pee? He has a carpet, blanket, and his puppy bed in there, but he still some how gets pee all over him..
  • Mar 23, 2010, 05:09 PM
    Aurora_Bell

    Maaybe try pee pads, or that pee grass stuff, but it may lead to house breaking issues.
  • Mar 23, 2010, 05:10 PM
    Cat1864
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Emily94 View Post
    Yeah, my sister is in school from 11:30-3:30.

    I'm going to be honest, i don't want to call anyone in case Duke gets taken away, I can't sleep if he is not with me.

    For now, until i catch him hitting Duke, im going to lock Duke in my room. I'm just wondering, is there anything i can put in his kennal to absorb the pee? He has a carpet, blanket, and his puppy bed in there, but he still some how gets pee all over him..

    Would he use a puppy training pad?

    Can you pen off part of your room for him during the day? Maybe leave his crate open with an area in front of it with pads or newspaper?
  • Mar 23, 2010, 05:17 PM
    Lucky098

    Is this a large or small dog?
  • Mar 23, 2010, 07:04 PM
    Emily94

    He is small, 8kg. I don't really trust him lose, he doesn't seem to know what's a toy for him, and what is mine.
  • Mar 23, 2010, 07:21 PM
    Lucky098

    Since it's a smaller dog, you could always get a small playpen if your room is big enough where you can keep him. You can give him toys and things to pre-occupy his time while you're gone. Keep the radio on or if you have a TV, turn it on. The sound of either device is very soothing and typically that means people are home. You could also get either a doggie litterbox and put the potty training pads in that (get a large pan) or you could try the Potty Pod (grass based training bad). I have heard a lot of wonderful things with the grass pad. A lot of apartment dwellers use it for their smaller dogs. https://www.pottypatch.tv/?gclid=CPD...FSk1gwodox2k0Q Try and get a large playpen. The bigger the better. Teach your dog to stay clean and potty in one area. Its up to you if you wish to give your dog free choice of water all day. I personally, wouldn't. Dogs who drink all day, pee all day.

    Good luck
  • Mar 23, 2010, 10:16 PM
    shazamataz

    From the sounds of it a playpen might not be the best idea.
    You dog is a good jumper right?

    My 4 month old pup climbs out of his puppy pen so we have to always supervise him :rolleyes:

    I quite like those grass patches, haven't used them but heard very good things.

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