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-   -   1st wife wants a divorce (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=235226)

  • Jul 8, 2008, 12:18 AM
    j al abbasi
    I am muslim religion and I want divorce but my husband doesn't want but he has another wife now and 3 kids. At this time he cannot manage 2 wives in one house cause we are together. My question is there possibily to get a divorce and how due to I'm not happy with this kind of situation.
  • Jul 8, 2008, 12:29 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    I will assume this was a separate question, it was posted as a answer to someone else's question. I have moved it to itself
  • Jul 8, 2008, 12:43 PM
    smokedetector
    Are you in the united states? Your husband cannot have 2 wives if you live in the united stated (though I've heard it is different if you're Mormon in Utah?). His second marriage would not be legal and you should report it. I don't know about religiously, but legally, you go down to the courthouse and tell them you want to file for divorce. They will help you. You might want to find a decent lawyer. Best of luck.
  • Jul 8, 2008, 01:22 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    I will assume this is in the middle east where this is more common. And I am careful in these types, since for example we had a father kill his daughter this week here in Atlanta for wanting to divorce her husband ( arranged marriage). The father said he had to save the honor of his family. So often people here in the US do not understand the culture of other nations
  • Jul 8, 2008, 10:52 PM
    firmbeliever
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by j al abbasi
    I am muslim religion and I want divorce but my husband doesnt want but he has another wife now and 3 kids. At this time he cannot manage 2 wives in one house cause we are together. My question is there possibily to get a divorce and how due to im not happy with this kind of situation.


    Assalaam alaikum sister,

    Yes you can divorce on the grounds that he is unable to look after both wives.

    One of the conditions of marriage with two wives for any muslim man is that he is able to financially and emotionally support both his wives.

    I would suggest finding a lawyer and if you have someone who can represent you in court,this way you will not have to face your husband or his arguments to not divorce.
    Or find out the possible ways to divorce your husband as per the legal laws of the country you are in.

    Islam Question and Answer - Marrying a second wife when one is not able to take care of two wives
    Islam Question and Answer - Ruling on a Woman Asking for a Divorce from Her Husband

    Wa alaikum salaam
  • Aug 6, 2008, 08:38 PM
    SweetSourNSpicy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by smokedetector
    Are you in the united states? Your husband cannot have 2 wives if you live in the united stated (though I've heard it is different if you're Mormon in Utah?). His second marriage would not be legal and you should report it. I don't know about religiously, but legally, you go down to the courthouse and tell them you want to file for divorce. They will help you. You might want to find a decent lawyer. Best of luck.

    I would just like to clarify a few things.

    First, in it's early days, the LDS church did practice polygamy. When it was outlawed in the USA and regulations and punishments became stricter on it, many people who were currently practicing it went into hiding. However in 1890, the LDS church officially discontinued the practice although it took several years after that to completely die down. These days, members of the LDS church are only allowed ONE spouse in both a legal and spiritual sense. Any member who does otherwise is subject to church discipline, including excommunication.

    Second, there is a difference between true polygamy and the kind of polygamy which is most often practiced these days. It is illegal everywhere to have more than one legal spouse in the US, regardless of religion or state. However the people, groups, etc. that claim to practice it these days often only have one legal wife, while they may have several "spiritual" wives. Even though they may live with and even "marry" these "spiritual" wives they do so without marriage licenses, certificates, etc. Because they are not attempting to have more that one legally binding marriage, I don't think that it is illegal unless a crime such as underage brides, incest, statutory rape, welfare fraud, etc. is involved. It is just typically frowned upon by modern society. The polygamist groups which often come under attack often do so for crimes other than "spiritual" polygamy.

    Third, the term "Mormon" refers to several different groups including the mainstream LDS church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) which no longer condones, practices, or supports polygamy as well as several off-shoot sects of the mainstream church such as the FLDS (The Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) which do still practice polygamy.

    So to sum up... It is illegal to have more than one legal spouse anywhere in the United States including if you are Mormon in Utah. The mainstream LDS church no longer condones or practices polygamy. Many offshoot sects of the mainstream LDS church do practice "spiritual" polygamy, some of which do so without criminal activity, some of which involve crimes such as child brides etc. Many of those groups do still live in Utah and several of them do still refer to themselves as "Mormons" but they are NOT the LDS church.

    Just wanted to clear that up. Thanks! :)

    Also, this was a nutshell version. If you are interested in more information, I found this site helpful:

    History of Polygamy in Utah

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