I've been seeing this married man for several months now. When we first got involved with each other we said that we was'nt going to let any feeling get in our way. Because of his wife and my boyfreind .All of that have changed , I've fallen in love with this man and I now that he have deeply feeling for me,because his cousin whome he is very close with told me.Can Newyears Day ,this guy told me that he was going to be faithful to his wife. I asked him did he want me to leave him alone and he told me that he don't know. I asked him how can you have feelings for someone one day and the next day you want to end the relationship. He can't answer the question but he wants to spend a whole day out of town with me.Now this man don't want me to leave him along what do you think do you think that it might be love here.

Okay honey, first of all, if this man loves you he would be with you and not his wife. You went into this relationship knowing he had a wife and yet you still got your feelings involved. What were you thinking sister? I'm not trying to be to critical, but if he really wanted to be with you, he would have left his wife and then started a relationship with you. He is not going to leave her, I mean why would he when he can have a stable married life, and still get sex from you on the side. I mean if the sex was good I'd lie and say I had feelings for you too if I were a man of course. Unfortunately this is how men think. So if you want to quit wasting your time and find someone who really does want to be with you, then ditch this bastard and find someone who deserves you. Just remember, you are better than this and you deserve better than this. Don't let some piece of crap man run your life like this. Go out and find you a man who will love you and only you and not want to share you with someone else.

The married guy wasn't getting loving from his wife. He found you. You knew he didn't want a relationship. You have scared him away and he had the wife to run back to.

NEVER, EVER get involved with a married guy.

Get this jerk out of your brain. The person I feel worse for is his wife - poor woman.

WHY do woman do this?? What don't you get?

Do not ever get involved with these jokers until the divorce papers are signed. HELLO?? ALL they want is to get you in the sack any way how.

He has the best of both worlds-you and his wife to get as much sex as he wants. Wake up and end this relationship before 10 years go by and you miss out on a true relationship where the man wants to be with you and is there for you. Sex you can get from anybody 24/7 but you can't build a solid foundation on just sex. I was involved years ago w/a married man and he decided to go back to his wife. It literally broke my heart but would never, ever do anything like that again. Not worth the emotional toll it takes on you. Be wise and end it as you will not win no matter what you think or hope will happen and he'll just magically end up with you.

Because more than likely he won't. I know of several situations like this and only ONE has ever actually left his wife, and you know what; in that case the wife he left was more than better off. She ended up marrying a man that loved her, was finacially secure and gave her a life that she would never have with the cheater. The woman he went to ended up in a relationship I would only wish on my worst enemy. Leave him to his wife, and go on and find yourself a man of your own.

RULE #1 Do not get mess around with a married person(that GOD's LAW)

Can it be love?

Yes of course it can, but the wrong kind of love not the kind you need, you need a man who can give his undevided attention, he might love you but he is going to stay with his wife can you live for a long while with being his second best, and let him dictate when you can see him, its not great wanting to be with your guy but knowing your not going to see him till a week on tues and maybe for an hour if your lucky, you'll find someone you can be with properly I know this is hard for you but things will work out, just not for you and him together.

I asked him how can you have feelings for someone one day and the next day you want to end the relationship. <<

Honeye, I sincerely know what you are feeling. I am also seeing a married man. He has a wife and children. He has repeatedly told me I cannot fall in love with him, that he has a responsibility to his children. His marriage is shaky at best. He is looking for affection, I am looking for love. I am in love with him. He cares for me, too. He has expressed guilt about cheating on his wife and lying to her several times. However, he still continues to see me. It is entirely possible to love two people at once, but it is a undesirable conundrum. One way or the other, someone is going to get hurt. I believe life is too short to be unhappy. In the end, someone has to make a choice. He may or may not end up with you. You can allow him to string you along, or maybe he will leave his wife. No one knows, really. Address this issue with him. Tell him your concerns, how you feel, and ask him what his plans are concerning his relationship with you. Push him to be honest with you. Accept the reality of this relationship, it is a hazard to your emotional well-being. No relationship is guaranteed to last forever. Use your best judgment and prepare yourself for the worst possible outcome: his leaving you and your heartache and feelings of betrayal. You need to look out for number one right now: yourself. If you really love this man and and can envision yourself with him, by all means pursue him to the fullest extent. Love him with all your being and tell him you love him. Just keep in mind all the possibilities--good and bad. Best of luck to you.

Love him with all your being and tell him you love him. Just keep in mind all the possibilities--good and bad. Best of luck to you



Excellent post there, great advice and so nice to read someone who isn't judging only giving their genuine advice.. good on you :)

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excellent post there, great advice and so nice to read someone who isn't judging only giving their genuine advice.. good on you

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Thank you, prophecygirl. I feel I have no right to judge anyone. I genuinely believe people do what they feel is best for them. We all find ourselves in sticky situations where we need encouragement, advice and reassurance. I refuse to condemn love in any fashion. "If you judge people, you have no time to love them."

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Originally Posted by honeye

I've been seeing this married man for several months now. when we first got involved with each other we said that we was'nt going to let any feeling get in our way. because of his wife and my boyfreind .All of that have changed , i've fallen in love with this man and i now that he have deeply feeling for me,because his cousin whome he is very close with told me.Can Newyears Day ,this guy told me that he was going to be faithful to his wife. i asked him did he want me to leave him alone and he told me that he do'nt know. i asked him how can you have feelings for someone one day and the next day you want to end the relationship. He can't answer the question but he wants to spend a whole day out of town with me.Now this man do'nt want me to leave him along what do you think do you think that it might be love here.

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I'm new to this site.. my first day..

Is this a response to my question today 7/7/07

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Originally Posted by honeye

I've been seeing this married man for several months now. when we first got involved with each other we said that we was'nt going to let any feeling get in our way. because of his wife and my boyfreind .All of that have changed , i've fallen in love with this man and i now that he have deeply feeling for me,because his cousin whome he is very close with told me.Can Newyears Day ,this guy told me that he was going to be faithful to his wife. i asked him did he want me to leave him alone and he told me that he do'nt know. i asked him how can you have feelings for someone one day and the next day you want to end the relationship. He can't answer the question but he wants to spend a whole day out of town with me.Now this man do'nt want me to leave him along what do you think do you think that it might be love here.

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I feel that I'm in the same thing... I think there is love there... and true love... But is this the love you want...

He is married, he has his wife.. then who are you? Hv you ever wondered, what place would you hold in his life... well, I feel you can love a person and usually where there is sex, there is some amount of emotional aspects get involved too whether the other party wants it to happen. And when that happens, it mars the whole concept of being together... expectations rise and unduly shattered... please think rationally rather than being emotional... it has deadly outcome... been there done that...

Honey Eye.
I am a married man, who is in a situation like your married man.
In most cases I am condemned for loving outside my marriage, but you know what? The same people who condemn, are not perfect and I do not judge them. I live my life, its just one life we have, in a manner that will least hurt people who are close to me. But I have also realised, no matter how you live your life, you are always hurting someone.
The advise I have for you. Enjoy it while it lasts. But don't live under false pretexts.
Someday, it may end, but till then enjoy every moment of it.
A lot of us married men who love women outside of their marriage, do not do it for sex only, its not worth the risk. Some of us genuinely love the other person for accepting us the way we are!

To When Will I Be Loved, and Scorpia 39

I am not about judging, or throwing stones. I am the wife in this situation. My husband had an affair. I took him back and tried to work it out, and he left again. I have now divorced him. Our marriage had problems, as all marriages do. It is never, never, never OK to have an affair as a married person, or with a married person. I understand how it happens, and I understand how it feels to be unhappy in a marriage. I have been lonely during ALL of my marriage-but cheating is not the answer. Marriage shouldn't be disposable. It is a vow you take that you will stay together-faithfully- forever. No matter how good it feels now, it will lead to heartache and disaster. The pain you will feel leaving the situation now, will be less than getting more and more involved. Fix your marriage if you have one, and wait for a faithful, strong, honest man/woman if you are single. I wish you both luck and true love. I don't believe true love every comes from cheating and lying.

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Originally Posted by honeye

I've been seeing this married man for several months now. when we first got involved with each other we said that we was'nt going to let any feeling get in our way. because of his wife and my boyfreind .All of that have changed , i've fallen in love with this man and i now that he have deeply feeling for me,because his cousin whome he is very close with told me.Can Newyears Day ,this guy told me that he was going to be faithful to his wife. i asked him did he want me to leave him alone and he told me that he do'nt know. i asked him how can you have feelings for someone one day and the next day you want to end the relationship. He can't answer the question but he wants to spend a whole day out of town with me.Now this man do'nt want me to leave him along what do you think do you think that it might be love here.

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If you are not married and want to have family, you should be ready to leave him. Most likely he won't leave his wife. Think about yourself first.

Too many hearts are being broken because of infidelity. Think about it.

I do not know what this institution of marriag is any more.. it has become such a joke!

more so celebrities who have a huge fan following and do influence more lives then you and me, have made such a farce of not only marriages but of relationships!

One day brad and jennifer the next day brad and angelina, the next day angelina and Mr.X and the next day Mr.X and Brad!

having said that, I think it is becoming more difficult today then ever before not to go astray, I don't know why, but I feel it is something to do with the ease of communication!

I have so many couple friends and can safely assume 90% of them are having affairs! Do I have wrong friends? I don't think so, as all them are from well to do professional back grounds!

but otherwise... LIVE TODAY LIKE ITS YOUR LAST DAY! And don't think so much!

The big problem I see here is that you have a boyfriend. If you have a boyfriend, stop cheating on him, that is disgusting!! If you want to be this man's lover, then you must be faithful to him. Please, get a hold of yourself and be true to the one man, but don't be loose.

Hi everyone. I am new to this post. I guess I was looking for some support to my questions. Here is my story. Me and my husband were together 8 years before we got married now 8 years (total 16 years together). We have little children under 10. I never thought he would have an affair no matter how bad things got --- I believe in the commitment to marriage. I found out about the affair by accident; he said he wanted to tell me so many times but couldn't. I gave signs that I didn't love him and he ended up being friends with this girl and it got deeper within the last 7 months. He said he is "in love" with her and still loves me as we were together for so long and I am the mother of his children. I am committed to making our marriage work. He "almost" left me for her and I "almost" let him go until I made it hard for him preaching that he is my husband, that we need him, our kids need him. He said that he will never neglect his kids. He told me sorry and that he "screwed" up. That he should have come to talk to me about our marriage one more time. I love my husband and he doesn't doubt my love for him. He was thinking with his heart and not his head when he was thinking of leaving us. I have faith in GOD that this is a test... a bump in our marriage... and that we will get through this. He is trying to focus on our marriage and our family and I know it is hard for him because of this "feeling" he has for her. At least he is trying and I'm not giving up hope. The other girl was giving him a hard time about him needing to leave me and that he needs to "follow his heart." That he can't deny his feelings for her and that she wants to start her life with him. She knows that I am fighting for my husband because I love him deeply and he told me that she is also fighting for him too because how he feels. He finally told her that he needs to do this and give our marriage a chance especially because of our kids. It is very hard but I do have FAITH in the Lord. I see my husband staring in the distance and thinking about all this. He looks at our kids with that special love. He too said it will take time and I know that. I was so devastated to the point I wanted to just die and disappear. All I was thinking was how much I hated the girl who wants to take my husband away from me and our children. She claims she understands when children are involved that everything "works out" at the end. She was never married so who is she to say "she knows"? She has no respect for anyone who is married.

I feel if the wife knows about the affair and is fighting to work out the marriage, the other "woman" should respect that and LEAVE HIM ALONE. It is totally wrong for her to FIGHT for him? He is MARRIED --- no ands ifs or buts! I understand that we are all human and we all have feelings. BUT bottom line... he is someone else's husband and you wouldn't want someone to do that to you.