Hey All.

If you have some knowledge of The Bible, it would be helpful or life experience related to a Christian relationship.

My boyfriend and I of more than a year, have been having issues, especially when it comes to the interpretation of the Bible. I feel I am very deep in my faith and growing closer to God everyday. He also is doing the same. Except the difference is he feels he knows so much more than me. Coupled with the word "submission," he believes he is the teacher and I am supposed to listen. Because I don't know much, I cannot argue his points, i.e. "Don't give what you don't have."

For example, I told him, everyone has their own personal relationship with God... and each relationship is unique. That means, we will follow His word but we have a personal relationship with him, he's like a father to us. And we are his child. No two relationships are alike. I did this to appease a discussion we were having. He started by saying, I hope you are not offended by my talk... and I tried to tell him, the above and that I respect different interpretations. I may not always see 1 verse of the Bible the same as he does. This is truth. But he got upset with me, and walked out. He packed his things and left. He says, he wants a woman of noble character who will accept her man whether he is wrong or right, treats her badly or not, and can humble herself, even if she is right, and he is wrong, to just say "sorry" and move on. There is truth to some of it. But I told him, I would never accept abuse from anyone... that's not right.

But he left cause he says, I am like 95% a noble woman, but I don't listen to the simple things he says. He wanted me to show submissiveness according to the Bible. I have tried to do this. But does that mean not saying my opinion when I feel he is looking at a Bible passage the wrong way? I don't want to be taught the wrong way. I've talked to pastoral staff, and that suggested I ask him, and he and I sit down with them. But he said, he doesn't need that now, he only needs it, if he decided I'm the one he should marry.

He says he used to be a player and slept around. Since he has been with me, he said he never cheated or did the things he used to do. And I'm the first woman that he has been faithful to. He should appreciate the opinions of someone who is a positive influence in your life. I know what you are saying... Why should he be mean to someone who has taken him out of his old ways ways? Is the problem with me, or is he stubborn? I know I don't always listen, and I have my own opinion, and sometimes I mix up my words, and they don't come out right... but I try to do the best, to take his advice... and have done a lot. But again, he says he doesn't see any changes and he is looking for me to change my attitude: That of a woman with a noble character. Today, he was mad at me for a Facebook post I was tagged in that said, "Be who you wanna be, not who others want to see." He went ballistic! And gave me the cold shoulder for a week. Because he thinks me being myself, is not being submissive to what he wants to change in me. So he says, oh everyone do what they want and think the way they want (in a sarcastic tone). He always plays the victim like I have hurt him. When every other day, I suffer belittling, saying I'm hard headed. He wants to control me 100%. And he doesn't want a woman who doesn't want to be controlled. He is the man, he will run things and control this relationship. He says, the woman should say, what my man says is good, even if it doesn't make any sense. I follow him because he is my man." And then he gives Bible verses to back up his claims. I ask him, let's get counseling.. he refuses saying he doesn't need that. Then he will come back and be sweet again. I don't get it, and I'm sooo confused. I've lose all sense of what is right or wrong, and what I am doing. I've felt I've lose myself... I do not know what real love is supposed to feel like... or if I am the reason for all of this happening. Please help!

He said to me before, If I can't get what I want from a woman like you, with all of your good qualities and near noble character, how will I find it in any other woman?

So again, what is the problem? Why is he always angry? Why doesn't he want to respect my opinions or suggestions about love (he said I don't need to teach him about love)? Why is he so mean to me? What is wrong with him? He said he is dealing with demons. I always pray to God to open his heart and mind and free him from those stumbling blocks... but so far, nothing has changed.

Look. First,I'm a man. So take it r leave it. If he's being mean to u. And treating u like shi@. It's better he's gone. Also if he packed his things and left. Wow. Regardless of your options r views, this Guy didn't care about u at all. Most people n a relationship can find middle grown. And work it out. Not leave. And wow he wants u to bow down. Nice I want to find a women like that. No free will at all,I'm always right. JK. That's not a relationship that's control. Plane and simple. Find someone who wants a friend and lover and wife. Someone who will b there even if times r good r bad!!

I know the Bible well. What he has told you is not Biblical, but comes out his sinful, controlling nature.

God does not want women (or anyone) to allow one's brain to turn to mush in order to please a partner.

He's upset because he doesn't want you to have a brain, and you refuse to stop thinking and questioning with yours. He wants you to follow him around, do what he says, agree with everything he does, accept that he's always right, even when he's not, bow your head like a good little slave and accept your fate.

If that's what you want in a relationship, than fine, be his pet, but that's not a relationship.

You have to decide what you can live with, and it doesn't sound like you can live the way he wants you to. No man is worth changing who you are.

He sounds like a self righteous prig.
If he is all in to your being a noble woman of character, why is he shacking with you, having sex with you. According to the bible that is fornication and it is a sin.
He wants to control you and impose his form of righteousness on you. He says he is battling with demons, he is wrong and he knows it and wants to make you feel bad so he will feel better.
You need to leave him alone as he will make your life miserable.