One of my best friends just told me she loves me. I guess to some point I led her to that but my feelings for her changed. I had tried for about two years and she knew that I really loved her. I finally gave up after realizing I was wasting my time. She says she sorry it took her too long to realize she was falling in love with me.I don't want to loose her as a friend. She is the kind of person that is always there for me. She listens to me when I'm feeling low and just makes me feel better. She wants us to have no contact for a while. What should I do, or say. Please help me. I am desperate. She is sad and that is the last thing I ever wanted her to feel. She is very special to me. I did not know what to say after she said that. It reaaly hurt her.

In High school I wanted my best friend and she knew it as well. But she didn't feel the same. We remained friends, until a huge fight that made us not talk for 3 years. I moved across the country, and as luck would have it we randomly bumped into each other.. started talking again... Now we've been dating for almost 2 years. No contact may not be the best thing. You cannot protect her from feeling sad and hurt that you no longer feel the same for her. Who was protecting you when she didn't feel the same? If she really is your best friend she will come around and things will smooth out. Best of luck to you. I've been in your shoes.

Hi, Shorn9!

Why does she want to have no contact, please? I'm not quite getting the reason from what you've written.

Thanks!

What is the stand point on your emotions regarding this girl?

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Originally Posted by Clough

Hi, Shorn9!

Why does she want to have no contact, please? I'm not quite getting the reason from what you've written.

Thanks!

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She says that because she is hurt. I think she hopes the feelings will go away. Yesterday she said that every time we talk she falls in love with me even more. She was really hurt.

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Originally Posted by ONLYHERETOHELP

What is the stand point on your emotions regarding this girl?

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Currently,just a friend. I really close friend, one that I talk to regarding anything.

Explain this to her, if she needs to take time apart and away from you, allow her as it will make for a better healing process.

I honestly don't see why she can be upset at you. You say that you loved her for two years and she rejected the love, but rather stayed "safe" with a friendship. When you realized that she wouldn't love you back, you gave up and preserved the friendship.

Sounds a little like someone who is playing hard to get - when the getter ceases to be interested in the to-be-gotten, the gettee misses the attention and becomes the getter!

Wow. That was confusing. Lol.

In short, it sounds like she doesn't like the fact that you aren't pursuing her any more... or the fact that you have gotten over her and moved on.

It's up to you. If you wish to pursue a friendship with her, then you need to be honest with her and tell her that. Give her space if she needs it, but don't let her "you don't like me anymore" make her change your mind and manipulate you into a relationship. I see the whole "My Best Friend's Wedding" complex in this situation.

If you still love her, then go for her. If not, let her have her space.

So you no longer like her?

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Originally Posted by Clough
Hi, Shorn9!

Why does she want to have no contact, please? I'm not quite getting the reason from what you've written.

Thanks!

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Shorn9

She says that because she is hurt. I think she hopes the feelings will go away. Yesterday she said that every time we talk she falls in love with me even more. She was really hurt.

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So, she is hurt because of you saying something to her? I'm just guessing here...

Some loves can take a really long time to develop. Do you want an intimate relationship with her?

Thanks!

Give her the space to get her feelings under control without your influence. The last thing she needs is false hope from you just being a friend. Being friends means giving her time.