I am a 26 year old lady and I am considering dating an 18 year old guy. I just wanted to know what you all think. Is it wrong? He has no problem but his mom do. She thinks I will end up using her son and believe me that is not my intention. Any advice?

Well, I'd like to know what you see in a high school senior...

Technically, you're both adults. Legally, you're both adults (I think 18 is "legal" in most states, it may be 21).

Morally? I think it's very questionable. But, that is just my opinion.

If I was his mother, I wouldn't want you dating my son. Sorry.

If he's still in High School yes, if not well then have your fun.

Hope you know 18 year old boys don't stick around for long. They aren't ready [mentally] for a family and long term relationship. Please keep that in mind.

He's fresh out of high school and on his way to college and a bright future, don't be the one to destroy that.

I hae to agree with HC. Why do you want to date someone so much younger than you? You should be graduated from college and in your career while he should just be going to college.

While there isn't anything illegal about it, it's just creepy.

I also would not want a 26 year old woman, or man for that matter, dating my 18 year old child.

I am just finishing up my degree. He will be 19 next month and has been accepted into the Navy. I don't want to deter him from anything. I had the final answer in my heart but just needed some outside advice. Thank you both so much.

Hi, love1984!

How long have you known each other, please?

Thanks!

It's a little creepy, and the last thing you want is creepy on your track record. (I'm 19, only a year older than this guy, and if I was his friend, I would label you as a 'creeper,' and if I was his MOM, whoa... it looks more than a little inappropriate.)

If you're looking to settle down and looking for something more serious, you'd be better off seeking someone your own age. Also, you must realize that military men- especially at his age, are not necessarily ones to settle down that easily. In fact, teenagers in the military, are probably more apt to mess around than anything. (especially when it comes to getting drunk underage, and going to strip clubs.) The military lifestyle is very difficult. If you're going to go into this relationship, you're going to need commitment and trust more than anything. I'm not saying that every military man is that way, but many of them are- and they are not ashamed of it. What are your thoughts on the military matter?

I don't think it's creepy, but I do wonder why you would want to date someone so much younger than you. A guy at 18 would be considerably less mature than you at 26 (I assume).

I suggest that given the circumstances, and him joining the navy, that you'd be better off seeing someone closer to your own age.

You must have doubts about it, otherwise you wouldn't be posting in this forum.

If this was a man we would be saying it is just a mid life issue and the older person is just thinking about some "hot" sex.

I don't see him going to the navy, are you willing to be at some naval base waiting on him to return for short periods every few months or a few times a year.?

Fr_Chuck, this is what I'm thinking. As far as I know, you cannot live on a military base with the guy unless you are married. So, living with him (unless he lives in town off base) will have to wait till marriage, anyway. Also, depending on his MOS, he could be away for quite some time. I don't think that Basic Training for the Navy lasts that long. But generally, the military lifestyle is a difficult one. It takes a lot of work. And as I said, most military guys his age are not looking to settle down- they're looking to get on that military base, hit up all the strip clubs, and get away with their "sailor" title by drinking underage. It seems odd to us who say that 21 is the "legal" drinking age. The people in our military, even those higher ranking, do not care how old you are when you drink, and encourage under-age drinking. The military also tends to steer their recruits toward singleness, telling them that their girlfriends are back home cheating on them. If there is any lack of trust or commitment in your military relationship, it will not work.

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Originally Posted by jaime90

(. The military also tends to steer their recruits toward singleness, telling them that their girlfriends are back home cheating on them. If there is any lack of trust or commitment in your military relationship, it will not work.

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Yes, I can remember my military training, there was this made up person "JODY" who was sleeping in our bed with girlfriend or wife, wearing our old clothes at home and more, we used it in the wording that we marched to. So you soon found yourself just ** KNOWING** the girl back home was not being true

I think she asked about dating him, not marriage. I don't see where she said she wanted to settle down. And once again, I tend to agree with Fr. Chuck that if this were a 26 year old male and an 18 year old girl/woman, we would not label it as creepy. Possibly ill advised, but not creepy. She likes him. It's legal. It may not work out, but a lot of relationships don't What's the problem?

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

yes, I can remember my military training, there was this made up person "JODY" who was sleeping in our bed with girlfriend or wife, wearing our old clothes at home and more, we used it in the wording that we marched to. So you soon found yourself just ** KNOWING** the girl back home was not being true

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I'm amazed. The military actively and deliberately generates distrust of women back home? That's awful!

I think there is nothing wrong with it.
I don't understand why society keep saying how it's okay for older guys to date younger girls but it's 'creepy' the other way around. I'm sorry but that's just unfair.
So what if he's not mature yet. Some girls find that attractive.
And not all guys are immature.

I know you already wrote that you found the answer you were looking for. But I'm going to throw my 2 cents in here anyway.

I kind of like how some actually mention gender... cause I def think that if you were a 26 yr guy and he was a 18 (soon to be 19) yr. girl... no one would use the word creepy! Than again I study gender and gender related topics and this social conception of things (How something's are OK for a guy, but not for a gal... )

Personally I don't find it creepy! At least no more creepy than a 26 year old guy dating an 18 year old female. I am the same age as you however, I'm 26 almost 27 (wooot woot) and I would personally never date someone who is 18. But of course that's me... haha I won't even date someone who is younger than 24... (which says more about me than anything else I think)

I actually talked to a friend about this the other day after reading a blog about someone who is 18 (female) who has a boyfriend who is 43... and I think that if I brought home a guy to my parents house who was under the age of 20... and one who was still in high school they would def have a talk to me about it and ask me what I was doing...

I also am the kind of person who would think of it as inapropriate for a guy our age to date someone under the age of 20... so yeah...

And yes, the navy situation also brings up some questions I guess. As well as how long have you know each other etc.

And yes, you did ask about dating and not marrige, and I took that into consideration as I was writing this.

Hope this came of as helpful and not judgmental ;)

Best of luck though!

Roxy

If he REALLY loves you and you him AND if this relationship is not an experiment to boast to his friends later , I say why should you not be together? Talk to him and make the decision. What YOU think is best for HIM may or may not be seen in the same light by him.
Good luck though

I know this is a lot later then your first comment. However I have disagree with most comments. I am an 18 yr old girl in a relationship with a 34 yr old man. And yes he has an established career while I am still in college, but somehow we make this work. It is you two's decision. Not his mothers or any outsiders. My parents are meeting my boyfriend and all they had to say was as long as he is treating you right. Age is just a number. Some people are mature for their age, some are immature and if you can make it work age really does not play that much of a factor.

I know this is a lot later than the original comment. However I have to comment as I disagree with most comments here. I hope you went with what you felt as right and not what others think is right. I am an 18 year old girl dating a 34 year old man. And yes he has an established career while I am still at university, however we make it work. I have full support from all our friends and my family. If his mother cares for him and you treat him right then she should have no problem. Not that outsiders opinion should matter. This could be the person for you don't let others opinions get in the way. You are only 26 and it is not creepy. The maturity thing well it really depends on the person he is and you are. Because someone is 18 does not mean they have the maturity of the stereotypical 18 year old you see on movies.. Age is a number. Not a tag. Go with what you feel. You are two adults. Good luck and I hope you went with your heart. Wouldn't mind an update...