All right, I did feel remorse. I wish I hadn't done it. But I did, and there's nothing I could do. I needed some money (to be honest I got a habit I need cash for, nothing serious like an addiction, but a habit) and I decided to check out a group of backpacks I knew belonged to annoying b! chy girls. I wanted money more than anything. Revenge was a smaller part of the act.

I guess I really didn't feel anything.

"I'd like to know if you have stolen before please?"

Yes I have. I have done a lot of petty shoplifting. I've taken ones that were lying around my sisters room that I knew she'd forgotten about. Minor offenses.
Now I've come clean.

I'm going to go out on a limb hereand say that you are not a bad person, you are making bad choices. For some reason you are acting out and showing your a$$. These habits are not good for you to form, it is not okay for you to be rude on this site either. What's wrong boo boo?

Hello J,

You mentioned that you stole 20$ from someone's backpack, and that you don't even knows who's it belonged to. Then, in another post, you said that they are all "B!tches", so how do you even know who you stole from? How do you know that the person you stole from is mean?

Stealing is stealing, no matter what you steal or from whom! I just think you are pulling the B!tch card to justify what you did...

We all agree that you did a bad thing, which, by the way was your initial question. My heart goes out to you, because I do think you are sorry for what you have done, but doesn't know how to handle it, and are looking for guidance.

Do I think you're a bad person? I don't know. Do I tink what you did was bad? Yes, I do. Can you rectify this preoblem? Yes, you can, by giving back the money, and NEVER do anything like that again!

Also, I did read everyone's posts, and what people are trying to say, is that you never know what somebodys situation is, as far as money that they worked hard for, which I agree and understand where they are coming from, not you!

Please try and get the help you need, so you don't end up in jail for stealing in the future... You got away with it this time, but next time, you might get caught...

How do YOU know what that $20 meant to the person you stole it from? You don't even know who it was, let alone how they got or what they were going to use it for.

Nowhere in the rules does it say we are not allowed to present hypothetical situation. Therefore, you can't tell us not to.

A double standard would be if we were congratulating someone else on stealing $20 and then condemning you for the same thing. There have been no double standards.

By definition, if your 'habit' causes you to steal money in order to support it, it DOES make it an addiction. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can work to prevent it from ruining the rest of your life.

If it's not an addiction, then it must be kleptomania. A counselor can help with either one.

Since you're saying you don't want to be a thief, try therapy.

You said you did feel remorse, and then you said you didn't feel anything, would you like to clarify?

When are you going to hit rock bottom and realize you have more than a 'habit'? You go from an invasion of privacy that resulted in a theft to admitting to looking in the backpack to see what you could find to steal. You have several problems and I suggest that you see your school counselor tomorrow to get help. You are a thief and a liar and apparently have a 'habit' that you have to support. All of that can change IF you want it to change.

I would hate for your actions to result in another person being accused and/or convicted of your crime(s). How would you feel if an innocent party got caught up in your problems because you won't take responsibility for your own actions?

Getting defensive and attempting to justify your actions are symptoms of a greater problem than just a 'habit'. How far are you going to allow yourself to fall? How many lives besides your own are you willing to destroy? Almost all addicts start saying, "It's just a habit. I can control it. I don't really have a problem. Everyone else made me the way I am." Are you going to be stereo-typical or are you going to be the one in a thousand who listens to the advice she is given and gets help before she ends up in jail/prison? That is where you are headed as long as you keep stealing to support your 'habit'.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/addictions/

Do I personally think that what you did makes you a bad person - no. People make mistakes, some bigger then others and more often then others but no one is completely guilt free. What matters, what makes you a good or bad person, is what you do about the mistakes you make. What you do from here can only answer that question.

If you don't want to be or be thought of as a bad person then you have to make this right while you have the chance.

You don't know who the girl is - but you should remember the backpack. If you don't want to have to face the victim you can at least put the money back. You said the girls were b*tches, maybe they are, maybe they aren't - how many people would you think would see you as a b*itch? Not everybody is going to like you. That's the same for anyone. Does that mean that you its okay for them to steal from you because they don't like you?

Furthermore you don't truly know what you just stole or who you stole from in the end. Its almost Christmas - you might have just robbed a baby of the present that money was going to buy.

You may not think that this is a problem habit or will develop into anything more or lead to anything bad. Who ever does? It's a simple fact that the more we do something and the more we get away with it, the more likely we are to do it again and eventually get caught. Getting caught is inevitable when you test the limits enough. A metaphorical game of Russian roulette every time you do it. Whether the mistake may be - steal, lie, do drugs, etc.

You still have plenty of time to avoid going down that road and becoming a bad person, so long as you are willing to turn around now.

YOU stole the $20 off someone who YOU don't like. Don't try and justify it as it can't be justified. There will ALWAYS be people you like and those you dislike. Suppose someone dislikes YOU and decides to steal something off you? That will be different exactly how?

If you steal from them then you are no different than they are. If you want to think yourself better then you will not do that sort of thing. IF you want to be better you have to hold yourself to a higher standard.

And incidentally... what did you do to earn that money? And what right did you have to take it? It wasn't yours, you don't know what they had planned for it, you don't know how they earned it because it wasn't found on the street, someone earned it, and it wasn't you.

Honestly... maybe it will have to take someone stealing your stuff before you see what is wrong here and why.

A good person would not have thought about theft to "get even" much less actually done it. Can you change? Most definitely... but you can also continue down this road thinking you are entitled to take what you want and eventually you will end up doing time for it.

NONE of this is justified. If you need money, get a job and work for it. You NEED food, you NEED shelter. You don't NEED whatever you stole that money for.

Get yourself into counseling NOW... talk to your parents about this issue. Otherwise you WILL end up getting caught and doing time in the Jail for it. Which would YOU preffer?

I think we're dealing with a troll - very apparent (at least to me) if "you" read through the thread. Will post whatever gets a reaction, including contradicting herself.

Is it Christmas break already?

Troll alert!

Yes, it's Christmas break already Judy!

If the OP has a "habit" and has to steal to support it, it is anADDiCTION. Duh!

Hello again:

I don't think she's a troll. I think she did exactly what she wanted to do, which is draw attention to HER. That's what stealing is about - thinking YOU are more important than the owner of certain property is.

She's a CLASSIC case of the psychological game called Cops and Robbers*. It's VERY much like the children's game of hide and seek. If you remember, it really wasn't fun if you hid too well. The fun of it was getting caught, and racing back to base. If you DIDN'T get caught right away, you'd rustle some leaves, or cough, or something to let the seeker know where you were.

Like hide and seek, the objective of Cops and Robbers is to get caught. Can you see it in play here?

excon

* Games People Play, Eric Fromm, PhD. Or maybe it's Eric Bern. Whaddya want from me?

"Furthermore you don't truly know what you just stole or who you stole from in the end. Its almost Christmas - you might have just robbed a baby of the present that money was going to buy."

Well a baby wouldn't remember whether it got a present or not. And this girl is 14, and everyone would know if she had a baby.

Actually I don't remember what the backpack looked like. That's why I said there's nothing I could do to fix this seamlessly.

I actually don't think I'm entitled to anything. That's a common idea, but I am a thief and I know thieves, and most of us don't think of ourselves so highly.

And I'm neither a troll nor an attention whore. So.. yeah.

And it really is no addiction. Its pot- its physically impossible to get addicted to pot. And I have a "habit" of buying and using it. Therefore just a habit.


"And incidently....what did you do to earn that money? And what right did you have to take it?"

Nothing and none. I know this.

Total BS... it IS possible to get addicted to pot... otherwise you wouldn't have so many potheads out there.

Pot IS drug... if people can get addicted to anything else... they can get addicted to pot as well.

Of course a stoner will argue otherwise... but then... anyone under the influence of drugs or alcohol aren't completely rational anyway.

If you take something you do feel a need to take it... like its yours to take.

And you are trying to rationalize theft. What that money was for is of no matter to you. If it was to buy their baby sister a gift, feed the homeless, buy lunch, or to play video games. It doesn't matter. It wasn't yours to take.

Nobody said it was HER baby. Good try at redirection. It doesn't work any better than blaming the victim.

Yes, you can get addicted to pot. Not necessarily the pot itself, but the way it makes you feel or not feel. If it were a social thing, then you wouldn't feel the need to steal to support it. So that means you are self-medicating and the self-diagnosed problems aren't going away. You're just putting a small bandage on gaping wound. Soon, you are going to need a bigger bandage because the pot won't be helping as much. Running away through drug use doesn't solve anything. I have watched it happen too many times to count to people who ended up breaking all trust everyone had in them because they wouldn't get help before the five dollars from a stranger became 20 dollars and jewelry from a friend.

Any time you have to steal to pay for a habit, it is more than a habit. It doesn't matter if it is pot, crack, alcohol or going to see movies.

Just because you can't remember who you stole from doesn't absolve you from attempting to make amends. 'Seamlessly' is a cop out. You can put someone else out but not yourself. That puts you in the seeking to get attention and not actual help and advice column.

What does this have to do with anything? It was a hypothetical, look up the meaning of the word.

Then why post about it? Why tell over 600,000 people that you stole something and you don't feel sorry about it?

Again, then why did you post?

You couldn't be more wrong. Pot can be addicting, just like alcohol, cigarettes, chocolate. If you're stealing to support your "habit" then it's no longer just a habit, it's an addiction.

Personally I agree with Judy and J, this thread has troll written all over it. She posted to get our attention and now we're giving it.

Personally, I think it's time to shut down the thread, take away her audience. She got the answer to her question, she's not willing to listen to good advice, so let her figure it out on her own.

I joined N.O.R.M.L. in 1975. I can't get addicted to marijuana. Human bodies can't get addicted to marijuana. Weak personalities can. Some would argue that makes them less than human (Frank Herbert - Dune).

So for twenty bucks you get what, two doobies these days? How long does that last you?

If petty theft is the best you can do to get herb, you're really sad.

Good-bye bogus baby, you don't want help, you want validation. I don't do validation.

I wish there was some way for you to understand that you are headed in the wrong direction.

But no, you have to make mistakes of your own.

You are going to keep stealing, for whatever reason, because you have found out that you can get easy money without working for it.

You are going to smoke pot until you either get caught, or go on to stronger things. That's the way it works.

At your age, 14 or 15, you think that you are grown, and have all the answers. When you get older, you will see that you were wrong, very wrong.

I hope something will change in your life so you can get back on track.

There are many things that you need help with, like counseling. But you're not going to do that either are you?

So, go do what it is that you do, and keep going the way you are going.

One day you will see that people are generally good, and they don't put up with the kind of crap that you are trying to pull.

Don't forget your homework.