How the hell do I get back on my feet?
I used to be successful, happy and a hero but my life has turned to . I am not exaggerating. And I will be surprised if anybody answers.
Ten years ago, I was a professional firefighter and paramedic, working my way though medical school, had a wife and a infant son, a nice SUV and a nice townhouse. Then things happened; my son developed congenital glaucoma, was diagnosed too late and had nearly a dozen surgeries leading to the loss of one eye, he also developed a hospital acquired antibiotic resistant infection and nearly lost his hearing as well, I was injured in a fall as a fireman and developed intractable pain and I was dismissed from medical school in my last year after I saved a man's life but in doing so endangered a physicians reputation. It was a bad, bad year.
I developed severe depression and started having a lot of problems with PTSD. Eventually, when it didn't get any better and I lost my career, then job after job, I went to a shrink, a really, really bad, reckless and narcissistic one. He got me hooked on pills, all kinds of pills, uppers, downers, narcotics and multiple strong antidepressants. My mood became unpredictable. Five years ago, my wife said she had enough, so the woman I loved so much threw me out. It was cold and sleeting. I ended up being caught in an abandoned building where I took shelter to avoid freezing to death by police. I ended up having those charges dropped but this started real problems. I was unable to provide for my wife and kids and ended up caught stealing some food for my kids. This is where most people get incredibly self-righteous, feeling better about themselves by looking down at me.
Three years ago I suffered from serotonin syndrome, basically an overdose caused by taking multiple antidepressants and amphetamines as prescribed. It could have killed me. I came out of it with uncontrollable involuntary gnashing of my teeth. So he put me on more drugs. There was a medication interaction that made me very confused and I hallucinated horrifically. I happened to be grocery shopping at the time at one of these superstores. I was so messed up. I checked out and went to the front center of the store to call home and ask my wife to come get me. But before I dialed the number I was approached and arrested. It turns out there was a small, boxed, laptop computer under the cart. I don't even remember being in the electronics department that day let alone trying to take anything. I honestly don't know if I did or not but if I did, I was out of my mind at the time.
I got put on probation and had the most evil, terrible and sadistic probation officer imaginable. My kids wanted me to call the police on her or beat her up. My wife felt threatened by her and she was being treated like she was on probation as well. Even my priest HATED her! Eventually, last September, another allegation was made against me but I did nothing to deserve it. I am sure of my innocence that time.
I turned myself in but there was no justice. I got sent to prison for eight months. I was forced to live among cold blooded killers, rapists and predatory criminals of all kinds in addition to many who never shoud have been sent there but instead to detox and rehabilitation. It was a living Hell! My life was often in danger and I frequently had to defend myself against gangs of really bad people. I still have nightmares about it. Nobody in either side of our family had ever been sent to jail or prison in a long recorded family history.
The whole time, my wife did not visit me, she did not write me, she would not send me any pictures off my family to comfort me, she wouldn't even read my letters. She filed for a divorce against me. This was all so hurtful that I felt like I was suffocating the entire time.
When I was released I ended sleeping under a bridge. Then this priest got my parents to take me in temporarily. I had cleaned up, got off all those drugs and received some good counseling. I tried my hardest to redeem myself to my ex-wife but she would not hear it.
Now, I am alone. I have only my clothing and a mattress on my parent's basement floor. I have not as much as jaywalked since September and will never again take any addictive drugs unless I become terminally ill. But how do I get back on my feet? I live miles from the closest bus route. My wife sold my car and everything that was mine. I have no income, no health insurance and have been told that I am not eligible for any kind of assistance or resources that I can find. In addition there are more than 300 occupations that any kind of ex-offender can never hold in Ohio; I can't even think of three hundred occupations, period. My parent's won't help me with anything else and tell me not to get too comfortable with them. It seems that without transportation I have nothing. I can't get to see my kids more than one afternoon a week. I have no way to get a job. I have no way to get out and see my few friends.
So, how the hell do I get back on my feet, make an honest living, find a descent place to live, get some needed medical care and see my kids. Please help me; nobody I've met wants to be bothered by me or give me half a chance and I am afraid of ending up homeless.