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confused01 · Apr 8, 2007, 08:24 PM

I Am 21 Yrs Old And Have A 2 Yr Old Daughter That I Do Not See. Unfortunately Do The Mental State Of Her Mother I Feel That It Would Be Better That Way. She Has Tendencies To Always Start Trouble And Try To Get Me In Trouble With The Law Every time I Ask To See My Daughter. I Admit That I Do Not Pay Child Support Because She Will Not Allow Me To See Her. I Can Not Afford An Attorney To Fight For Custody And At Times Are Unsure On Weather I Want To Even Do So Because Of Her Mother!

I Do Not Want To Sound Like A Dead Beat Dad However I Am Looking To Find Out Some Answers About Signing Over My Rights? I Live In The State Of Pennsylvania In Monroe County And Am Not Sure If The Mother Has To Consent To This, If I Would Still Be Obligated To Pay Support Or The Proper Forms And So Forth.

I Hope No One Judges Me I Am Just Looking In To My Options

Matt3046 · Apr 8, 2007, 08:34 PM

No it can be hard to deal with people like this. But don't sign away your rights you will always be the dad no matter what, maybe latter things will change.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 8, 2007, 08:36 PM

Well of course we will all judge you, but many just won't say what they think.

You can always sign away your rights, your right to visit, your right to have a say in the child's life, your right to be a father. But this does not take away your obligation to pay child support, so you will still have to pay child support, Remember the farther behind you get, the better the chance of ending up in jail at some point, esp if she goes on any type of public assistance.

And you should get a second job if you have to, and get an attorney and not sign over rights, but get visitation on terms that will work, require the child to be picked up by a second party to bring the child to you, that way no contact with the mother is made at all.

ScottGem · Apr 9, 2007, 05:59 AM

There are many threads here that ask the same question. The answer was already there. You can relinquish your rights as a parent, but not your financial responsibility.

The thing you don't say is whether there is a court ordered child support payment. If there is and you don't pay, you could wind up in jail or having your wages garnished. You also don't say if there is a court ordered custody/visitation order in effect. If there is and she is violating it, you can get the courts to enforce it.

Yes we will judge you, that that doesn't stop us from trying to help you. But the bottomline here is you have a duty to your daughter. Trying to get out of that duty is reprehensible.

confused01 · Apr 9, 2007, 08:28 AM

I Asked For Help Or Possiable Forms To Download. I Feel Horiable For Even Considering To Do This. However The Constant Actions Of My Daughters Mother Is What Is Reprhensiable!
I Was Not Ready For A Child She Said She Was On Birth Control Had It But After She Got Pregnant Said She Had Stopped Taking It Did Not Make Me Aware Of This. Now This May Upset A Few People However When A Woman Gets Pregnant If They Feel That They Will Not Be Able To Care For This Child They Have The Right To Terminate The Pregnancy And Relive Themselves .men Do Not Have These Rights!!
I Understand Many Don't Agree With This But Nobody Deals With My Pacific Situation.
I Am Just Asking Where To Be Directed To Not To Be Ridiculed You Are Giving You Opinion Not Your Help!!

ScottGem · Apr 9, 2007, 09:57 AM

First you WERE directed as to what to do. Your question about dosging your financial responsibility was answered. You wre also told what to do custody, child support and visitaton issues.

Most courts will not allow a bio parent to relinquish their rights unless its to pave the way for adoption by a step parent. But if you want to do so (even though you will still have to pay child support), you need to petition the family court.

And I agree with you, there is a certain inequity when a mother can choose to terminate a pregnancy, but the father doesn't have that option. Of course the father had the option of keeping it in his pants in the first places. I've said in other threads that no one should engage in intercourse unless they are physically, emotionally and financially prepared to have a child.

But the bottomline is you contributed to the birth of that child. Whether by trickery or not is immaterial. You have a responsibility towards that child.

vlee · Apr 9, 2007, 10:11 AM

I think it's pointless to play the blame game. Everyone knows people LIE. They just do. So if you're going to have sex, wear a condom regardless of what anyone says. Anyone in casual or short lived romances should be using condoms for the sheer fact that there are fatal sexually transmitted diseases, not to mention unplanned pregnancy. I am also pro-choice, but not as a method of birth control.