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ButterFly12
Jun 9, 2007, 05:40 PM
Ok, I'm thirty-five and never had a serious relationship. I have no friends and depend on my mother for friendship. She is my best and only friend. I have an apartment but I rather stay at my parents place. When I go home I feel so lonely and bored. I hate my job, but won't do anything to leave. I want to go back to school, but can't decide if I want to be a nurse or a preschool teacher. I have an computer associate degree. I wonder am I to old to change careers, should I stick to computers? On top of all of this I've gain sixty pounds. I say I'm going on a diet but I don't. What is wrong with me?

NowWhat
Jun 9, 2007, 06:16 PM
It sounds like you have lost your motivation. That you are lost right now. First, focus on what makes you happy. What do you like to do? What do you like about yourself?
Focus on the good.
When deciding on a career - what do you think would be more fulfilling - helping people get better (nurse) or teaching children? Can you handle the sick or the screaming kids? What would be more appealing on the bad days?

The weight - well you have to just get a plan and do it. If it is to start walking - do that. Join a gym where you can meet people and start making friends.

Start doing things for yourself. Like start a pottery class or a cooking class. Something that will get you out of your house and start meeting people.

Get a pet - you could get a dog - go for walks, it will get you out, start getting fit and meet people.

shygrneyzs
Jun 9, 2007, 06:29 PM
You are not too old to change careers. When I went back to college for my second degree, I was 32. One of my classmates was 63. No one is ever too old. It is a state of mind.

It sounds like you could benefit from a life coach. One of my second cousins does this for a living and helps all kinds of people focus in on their strengths.

What would do you if you did not go to your Mother's place for a day? Would your world stop? Why not make a date with yourself to go somewhere else? Something simple even, like the library or a movie to even to the zoo. Why do you hate your job? What is your job? Did you ever like your job? Do you like any part of your job? Why do you think that being a nurse or a teacher are your only two choices for a career change?
You have this Associates in Computers - what can you turn that into? But is this the job you hate?

Have you seen your doctor lately? Had a very complete physical? Is there anything medical that could be affecting you? What about psychological? You talk as if you have some signs of clinical depression. The malaise you describe. The lack of interaction with others. The not being able to go forward. Please make an appointment with your doctor and get a physical. Your doctor can refer you also to a mental health professional, to deal with the signs of depression and other emotional concerns.

You deserve to be a happy, vibrant woman. You are too young to roll up the carpet. Good luck.

Fr_Chuck
Jun 9, 2007, 06:32 PM
You are never too old to change careers ( or start one) but as noted, you have to do something, get involved in life, perhaps you need to get involved in things, Live life, don't sit and watch it on TV

Bestsinger101
Jun 10, 2007, 01:00 AM
Hi Butterfly

Well I can't say what's wrong with you sounds like you could use a boost hun.

I work in computers which is where I got my degree. I have been for the last year completely deflated and have been looking at changing my job. I looked at nursing, I still haven't made my mind up but I decided to see a 'Life Coach' just to help me decide what career I would like, and I'm getting there slowly but surely so there is hope!

My only shopping buddy is my mother, my weight, well that's still a BIG issue, I put on loads and am still putting it on. People telling you to stop watching TV or get of your butt doesn't help when you are feeling so low. I was thinking about dog walking because at least you don't have to rely on anyone to go with you (well apart from the dog!)

Don't give up hun, take a step at a time, maybe see a career coach or join a dating agency (I have known people that found it daunting but worth while) when you are ready, and the weight thing, I am still working on that!

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

Lacey5765
Jun 10, 2007, 05:10 PM
You have had great suggestions here. May I add another? HOw about doing some volunteer work, some service to others? I find that when I am down that serving others always makes me more appreciative of the life I have. You may find the more you get out the more you want to get out. You will also make new friends. How about a church? THat is a great place to fellowship others and will lift your spirits.