:( :( :( :( :( :(
I hate myself so much.
I feel so guilty...
So trashy...
Like a whore...
I can't stop having sex with my boyfriend.
We want to stop...
But we arnt making any progress...
I feel horrible...
AND
Im scared Im going to get pregnant...
What do I do?

Try Babysitting A Brat A Few Times That May Solve Everything.
Seriously. If It Is Just Getting Pregnant Your Worried About Then You Have A lot Of Options To Solve That Issue.
Other Than That One Day That Sex Drive Want Be There Like This... so Enjoy It

Where Were You When I Was 18? Lol

If you really want to stop having sex then just stop. Don't put yourself in situations where you could end up having sex. For example, don't hang out in the bedroom with the door closed, don't go park anywhere and "talk". Make sure you have people around you when you hang out, go to public places. Take the opportunity to have sex away and then you won' t be able to have it. Eventually maybe the urge will go away. You are in charge of yourself... so if you want to stop having sex, then stop.

Why do you want to stop? Why does it make you feel like a whore?
How old are you? Are you using protection? How long have you been with your boyfriend?

Sex is a part of life. It is a way of expressing our love. It shouldn't make you feel dirty and like a whore if is practices under the right circumstances.

There are many unknowns here that I think you need to fill in.

But as the poster said above, you are the only person who control your actions.

I dont know if I can add on to my question so i hope someone sees this.
Im 15.
I know...
Thats very young.
The reasons why I want to stop is because sex is something that should wait till marriage.

I agree sex is something that should wait until marriage. But, I will stick to my previous answer. If you want to stop having sex, then stop. You are in charge of you. You are the ONLY person that can make you stop. I, nor anyone else, can give you a magic answer that will make you stop having sex. It has to come from you. Stop putting yourself in the situation to fail. A person that doesn't want to get dirty doesn't play in the mud. If your boy pressures you and makes you feel guilty for not having sex then he is not the man for you. Take charge of your life and stick with your decisions.

Okay, time to come clean. Do you like sex or are you being raped? Not funny to play us this way. See, right here (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/womens-health/raped-99490.html#post450383) you say you are being raped and that you broke up with your boyfriend.

Yes, my dear. Since you posted that rape post, it has me thinking.

Is your boyfriend raping you?
Or are you having sex wilingy?

Thoes are two very differnet things, it is time to come clean.

I had to point this out for others who may answer Billy. Now, if I get to the truth I will recant my statements.

It was a good thing you did J_9!

Very clever. I just hope she's not joking around with the rape stuff.

Me too hun, it is not something that should be joked about. I know too many women who's lives were ruined because of rape. Rape is NOT a joke.

It most certantly is not! She may also be confused with what is rape, and what is sex. It may sound strange, but I've seen that happen a lot in the younger kids.

Whatever is it though, rape should not be a joke

Ohh the rape question was my old boyfriend.
I haven't gotten over it.
People bring it up.
And I still have it locked in my heart.
My parents don't know.
THIS question is about my new boyfriend.
Hes helped me a lot with what has happened to me.
And he would never rape me or hit me.

And he never pressures me.
Hes not that kind of person.
To answer one of your questions.

Im sorry for not stateing clearly what's going on. Im abit knew.
And Im abit scared to say these things.
Sorry for my unanswered questions.
If you have any, please ask, if it would clear things up.
Sorry...

:[[

Your ex rαped you.. αnd now you cαn't stop hαving sex with your current boyfriend-- hmm sounds like αn issue to me like you αre trying to cleαnse yourself or trying to tell yourself sex is okαy in order to mαke the rαpe αlright I hope thαts not the cαse thαt this rαpe hαs mαde you promiscuous

Why did you not contαct αny αuthority or told your pαrents/relαtive αbout the rαpe? if your boyfriend truely loved you he would hαve hαd done something αbout it (told the cops, your pαrents..). someone thαt loves you doesn't just sit there αnd tell you it's gonnα be okαy then hαve sex with you..

You cαn stop hαving sex you know nobody is holding your legs αpαrt

sex αddiction could hαppen to αnybody αnd is not to be tαken lightly, it's the sαme αs αny αddiction whether it be drugs or αlcohol, if you think you hαve this problem you should get help, professionαl help

Some women get raped and are afraid of anything intimate, other women get raped and all the sudden start having sex all the time. Unfortunately I was one of the second women. When I was raped I wanted to pretend that it wasn't a big deal, it was just sex that I didn't want. I all the sudden began having sex all the time with different guys. I just wanted to make the rape seem less significant and make sex not a big deal. I somehow thought if sex became something normal, not important then the rape would not bother me anymore. Sex is a big deal and it should be a very intimate thing with someone you love. I had to learn this the hard way. Sex never solves anything, and it never makes something horrible, like rape, become less tramatic. In fact sex only makes things worse.
Your new boyfriend should understand why sex makes you feel the way it does. If he knows you don't want to have sex anymore then he should respect that. If he doesn't understand this then he should get the boot. I don't understand why you keep whining about wanting to stop having sex but don't stop having it. No one can help you with that problem. You are the only person that can help yourself with that.
If your last boyfriend really raped you and now you are seeking sex as a answer then you might need some counseling. There are issues you need to deal with. I would start by talking to your parents or at least a guidance counselor at your school.

Im not using sex now as an answer to my rape.
My rape was more then a year ago.
And I hope that that doesn't sound stupid that Im still sad and seeking help now.
Ive only had one boyfriend after my ex boyfreind.
I don't want my current boyfriend to tell anyone because when I told people that I was raped they called me a slut and a whore and told people that I was just having sex with my ex willingly.
I am having sex with my boyfriend now because we have a very intimate relationship but we want to save that intamacy for marriage. Im sorry that I ever even asked my two questions. Its just been a burden. And now you probably all think Im a whore as well...

And my current boyfriend does respect that I want to stop.
He wants to stop just as much as I do.

And me and my current boyfriend arnt constantly having sex.
Its very mild but just once is bad to me.

Like I sαid: if your boyfriend truly loved you he would hαve hαd done something αbout it

αnd no I don't think your α whore

He didn't do anything because I told him not to.
No body cared, when I had like I said, told people what happened they called me a slut.
So when I told him I told him not to do anything because I didn't want to go through it again.

Telling everybody is one thing-- telling your pαrents, cops etc. is αnother--- I honestly αm stαrting to think your rαpe story is fαke.

No one here has said you are a whore. Please don't jump to conclusions.

Whatever...
Forget it...
Just...
Forget it...
Why would I ever lie about something like that?
Have you ever been raped?
Have you ever said no to someone you thought cared and then had them smack you to the ground?
Have to ever been pushed to the bathroom floor and been raped?
While your friend it outside listening to you scream rape over and over again
But they do nothing...
Have you ever been choked when you said the wrong thing?
Everyone thinks Im lying
Because they listen to him
Im done.
Im done trying to fix this.
What's done has been done.
And me being raped doesn't matter...
Forget it...
Im done.

Sorry I wasn't jumping to conclusions
Ive just had it happen before.
I know that no one was calling me that.

get help

That's what I was trying to do here.

You obviously didn't αppreciαte-- we're here on the net to support you αnd give you αdvice help BUT you need to tell your pαrents αt leαst if you won't contαct the αuthorities!

I do appreciate everyone's help
But I don't appreciate you going and saying that my rape was a fake.
And having others think its fake.

Why is it that you felt OK enough to tell others but you never felt okay to tell your parents? I think that you need some sort of counseling. Please get help, that's the only way you are going to deal with this and get over it the right way.

I don't want to tell my parents because I feel that they will be ashamed of me or disapointed that that happened to me. Im just scared...

Obviously when someone who hαs been rαped either sαys nothing αt αll or gets help, αnd your trying to get help. You've told other people BESIDES your pαrents... sounds very fishy to me αnd probαbly-no most likely to others αs well. Your pαrents αre your pαrents αnd if you reαlly did get rαped they will understαnd αnd only wished you hαve come to them sooner..

Im so tired of you.
Sorry.
But I am.
Stop thinking that Im lying.
You have no idea how much that hurts.

Okαy so get mαd

All we are trying to say is that if this happened you really need to talk to your parents about it. If they are like most they will not thing wrong of you they will get you the help that you deserve. TALK TO THEM!!

Im not going to get mad.
You don't know how it feels.
You don't know anything about it.
And its horrible how your treating me.
WHEN ALL I WANTED WAS HELP BECAUSE I WAS RAPED!
AND YOU Don't CARE!
Whatever...
Someone who really cared emailed me.
And they helped me.
Sorry for wasting your time...
God bless...

Im going to tell them.
I finally have the courage to.
Thanks.

In your other post about being raped, I did give you two hotlines to call. One developed especially for teen girls involved in abusive relationships. I know other people gave you solid advice. So why come back and say no one cared?

I do hope you tell your parents. I also hope you stop engaging in sexual relationships. You need some professional help with many issues before you are truly ready to be that involved with a guy.

Oh I was talking about that one girl when I said that she doesn't care.
Sorry.
Im going to get help.
Thanks.

I wαs trying to help you but mαybe you just don't like the truth sαid to you directly. It's good thαt you αre finαlly going to tell your pαrents αnd I certαinly hope you get help elsewhere professionαlly. I never sαid I cαred in the first plαce I feel bαd for whαt "hαppend" to you but this isn't α site for αttαchment (αt leαst for me) αnd I hope you reαlize thαt when you go to get help becαuse α therαpist isn't going to be your best friend.

Ok check this out... First off saraispiel19 you have no idea what a rape victim goes through... it might just sound so easy like a snap of a finger to tell someone that you been raped or molested but it isn't... I know... I know how it makes you feel... makes you feel dirty... like you did wrong and then scared of what's going to happen if you tell... is he going to do something to you or not... how people look at you. I think that some of you are being inconsiderate of what she is trying to ask or say to you. When you sit there and ask why didn't she do this or why is she doing that and saying that she is probably lyin then you are just making everything a raped woman thinks about come true... if you isn't here to help then I suggest you not make it worse. This site is not a site where you play games with people... people are actually asking for help.

Thαnks tuscαny<3
Before b!tching αt me NeNe you should reαd previous posts αnd mαybe tαke α look αt my profile αnd if you hαve time- which you probαbly do since you go αround hαrαssing members of AMHD look αt αll my αnswers to everyone's questions- I'm not "plαying gαmes" αs you sαy. if you're here to b!tch then I suggest you find αnother site for immαture people αs yourself.

αnd if αnyone else thinks the sαme like NeNe then I αpologize if it seems thαt wαy- like I'm out to get every single victim of rαpe or being molested. Of course it's not eαsy , the first step is αlwαys the hαrdest. αnd not telling somebody will mαke it worse. No mαtter who it wαs your uncle, α strαnger, α friend.. you must report it to the αuthorities- they do it once they'll do it αgαin- mαybe not to you but someone else, αnd i'm pretty sure you wouldn't wαnt someone else (who mαy be α child) to go through the sαme thing αs you did

I don't go around harassing anyone... but as I read these post, I contsantly see people badger others that are simply tryna ask a question and get help but when I see people that just answer these questions rudely and without thinking of what that person is going through than yeah Imma get a little mad. Like now I isn't trippin that you disagree with what I said and no I don't have time to read everything everyone posted but stuff like "before b!tching αt me NeNe you should reαd previous posts αnd mαybe..." and "which you probαbly do since you go αround hαrαssing members of AMHD..." and "if your here to b!tch then i suggest you find αnother site for immαture people αs yourself. " I think it's a rude way to talk to people... I didn't cuase at you, tell you to grow up, or even say you need to stop harassing people. I do agree what she needs to do but Im saying it isn't easy cause yeah my uncle use to molest me and it just took me till now to say something to my own mother. I was just blessed to actually be able to get away... I isn't trynin to be disrepectful to no one. And as fro Tuscany I respect that she had a way to back you up but she didn't disrespect me in the process...

Mssh510 disagrees: fornication is not good and you seem to be supporting it! Bad advise

People here are not looking for others to judge them. There is church for that. There asking for advise, and by the way where was yours, i don't see that posted.

I don't believe in that myself however that wasn't the question, and im not going to scorn her for her choices.

Glαvine I think you need to tαke α second αnd see where MsSH510 is coming from.
Fornicαtion or pre-mαritαl sex is still frowned upon but however it is α personαl choice but those choices should be mαde by αdults or one who is mαture (we αll know αn αdult thαt αcts like α kid... ) the choice to hαve sex or not shouldn't be mαde by 13 yeαr old prepubescent girls.

I myself αm not much of α church goer but thαt does not meαn I slαm on churches, if you hαd α bαd experience αt α church then I'm sorry αbout thαt-- not αll churches αre the sαme.

people mαke bαd choices dαily αnd some need to be nαgged- especiαlly if it's α teenαger- in order to "get it right"... however this is αn open discusion so αnybody cαn sαy αnything... hopefully next time you'll see things in α different perspective αnd not be so sensitive to whαt people sαy..


Oh well to eαch their own...

She's 13,I Had No Idea, I Just Assumed This Was Someone Much Older, Sorry,
I Didn't Mean To Sound Like I Promoted That Lifestyle,

Im 15

I was 13 when the rape happened.

Please talk to a responsible adult, maybe a school counselor, or a trusted teacher and most pastors are trained to help those who need good advice, and though you love him, if your boyfriend cared he would be helping you abstain from sex and he isn't, because he can't. You have been through a trauma, and need time and support, to get through it and over it. No, you are not a whore, just a young female that was victimized by a fool, and is confused about the right thing to do, to help herself. Get the help you need.

My boyfriend is helping me a lot right now.
He's really giving courage to do something about it.
And he's been talking to me about it to get the issue solved.
And he's trying to have self control and he's protection me from himself.

You posted a while ago. I hope you are feeling better about things now.

Do use protection every time you have sex, every time.

Try not to get drunk. Getting drunk often leads to sloppy careless sex and pregnancy.

Find out what sort of free counseling you have available. A lot of schools have a real life proper counselor who comes in for a couple of days a week and meets with students 'one on one'. Counselors of this type are like doctors, they have to keep your secrets and can't go round telling your teachers or others your problems.

Out side your school you my find similar professional counselors through youth mental health programs. Almost every county has a mental health center that provides specialist counseling for teens.

No, you are not mental. You just need a little help and guidance from an adult who is not going to get on your case or think badly of you. Some one other than your parents or teachers. Some one who will keep what you say confidential.

Ask before talking, what privacy you can expect. Don't get fooled by 'youth counselor' who's only skill is throwing a basket ball, or 'school counselors' who are only qualified to help you select English or math courses.

You want a proper mental health counselor, they are the ones who will keep your secrets and help you figure out what you need to do for yourself.

You may also want to mention it when you see your doctor or OBGYN, just ask for a moment in private, and then ask them for a referral for some mental health counseling. (No you are not mental, it's just what they call that type of helper.)

Well although I can understand it can be difficult to quit this addiction, I would suggest a diversion would work, get in to a new clean relationship that you can relate to. Don't volenter yourself to get back to square one and if you still go back, don't stop keep moving on. Remember its not about quitting it, its about denying it with persistence.

Have you thought about going to Sex Addicts Anonymous? I understand where you are coming from when you can't stop having sex. I go to the 12 step meetings and they are helping me. Try and see if there is something like that in you area

I was in your same position...
& trust me I'm not some 20year old who barely remembers anything when I was 15..

I'm 16... my 1st time was when I was 13
I felt like crap & that's the best way to put it
When me and the guy broke up I got depressed & on top of that everyone in the skool knew...
Every time I met someone in 9th grade I was known as the girl who had sex with "cody"

That was a pointless story...
*answer*
Tell him u DO NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX ANYMORE...
& if your afraid it will hurt his feelings or something explain why

... if he honestly loves you enough, next time you get into "that" situation he should say "stop! u know u dont want to do this!"
After a while not having sex will be easier...

Oh yes it is very easy thing

I'm a Muslim and what you are talking about is part of my islam.
That I mustn't have sex with any person except my wife or my husband.
So just try to read about islam
See this links
http://www.islamawareness.net/Sex/
http://www.islamawareness.net/Sex/fatwa_sex_004.html
http://www.al-islam.org/m_morals/chap2b.htm
http://www.scribd.com/doc/301468/Islamic-Perspective-of-Sex

I want to also stop having sex as my boyfriend doesn't want to anymore. We tried in the past but it's been so hard to stop. It's like there's something inside me that keeps saying I need it. I can't seem to stop the urge. And I want to because well I di sort of think that it should wait till marriage but we had it lots if times before. I see it as showing my love to him but he thinks you dong have to have sex to show your love for them and I agree. It just seems he doesn't want me anymore and u don't feel as sexy anymore. I don't think anyway. I don't want to leave him for it at all. Can someone please help me? I'm 16 going on 17. He's not raping me or anything. The sex is good we use protection and we enjoy it. I'm in desperate need of guidance.

By your comment on “sex is for marriage” I can tell you were taught that value and your right. But the problem is when you experience the pleasure sex brings to you and then it seems as if you don´t have the control any more. I will share with you five things that may help you. First, don´t watch any t.v. program or movies or look at magazines that bring up the topic of sex please. Next, remember to take a way bad habits you must replace it with something good. So your free time look for an activity that you both can do that is pleasant for example exercise, puzzles but do practice it in public areas were people are around. Don´t be up to late or beyond 9:00pm alone with him. The later it is the more sentimental you are and the conversations tend to be so private and as the rule goes a woman opens her soul she will easily open her legs because there was a bonding. I am sure you know the places, moments the circumstances that surround you and that makes it easy for you to have sex evade them. The last but most important is to ask God to help you act upon the right decision at the right moment

By your comment on “sex is for marriage” I can tell you were taught that value and your right. But the problem is when you experience the pleasure sex brings to you and then it seems as if you don´t have the control any more. I will share with you five things that may help you. First, don´t watch any t.v. program or movies or look at magazines that bring up the topic of sex please. Next, remember to take a way bad habits you must replace it with something good. So your free time look for an activity that you both can do that is pleasant for example exercise, puzzles but do practice it in public areas were people are around. Don´t be up to late or beyond 9:00pm alone with him. The later it is the more sentimental you are and the conversations tend to be so private and as the rule goes a woman opens her soul she will easily open her legs because there was a bonding. I am sure you know the places, moments the circumstances that surround you and that makes it easy for you to have sex evade them. The last but most important is to ask God to help you act upon the right decision at the right moment

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