I have be sleeping with a married man for the last 2 1/2 yr it may be 3 but anyway I really like this guy and I'm trying to hang in there cause when I try to ask him about us he always say lets see how things go. Also when he goes on family vacations the day he comes back he comes see me. I don't know if he is say this because he miss me or just want to sleep with me. I would like to know if I should cause him is this going to go anywhere and have him think about it why he is on vacation with his family.

He goes on vacation with his family because he is a married man with a family.
I have no sympathy for you and I'm not sure you will get much here, maybe because people don't like homewreckers. (thats what you will be known as if this gets out... and it will get out.}
Has it sunk in yet? I'm not getting at you, I don't know you, you can sleep with whomever you like, but at least make it a single man and not somebody else's husband.
He says "lets see how it goes" to keep you sweet for the next sex session he has with you, think about it, if he turned round and told you he is never going to leave his wife for you, you are not exactly going to put out for him are you?
Im guessing he has also told you that him and his wife don't sleep together anymore/shes put on weight/they are not compatible/they fight a lot/he has to stay with her for (insert excuse here)...
Call him, tell him you either want him with you perminantly, full time, by the end of next week or you will walk away, I'm betting you never hear from him again.
At least think of his wife in all this, as its bloody obvious nobody else is. How would you feel if your husband was out sneaking around in another woman's bed?
What goes around comes around... if you are dishing it, at least know if you can take it when it happens to you.

What other reason do you need than HE'S MARRIED!? He has a family indicating children maybe? He's using you for sex by the way or he would have left her already. Maybe on their vacation he falls off a cliff and his poor wife and children don't have to put up with his loserness any longer. One can only hope.

You can't just blame the man though, it takes two to have a 3 year affair

how would you feel if your husband was out sneaking around in another womans bed?

Agree, how can anybody do this you're not all to blame but I'm a guy and that guy is a pig and as far as I'm concern you and him belong together. That so hurtful to do this to another person espically his wife. Don't you have any morals?

Yes, it was like this him and his wife was not together and his sister got us together and that was that after that.

OK, what should I do , should I seat him down a tell him scent it does not look like they thing are not going will for me with use my be we should end it before someone should get hurt.

Going into the third year and you are still waiting to "see how tings go"? Can't you see yet? Women can be so blind, and usually because they want to do be that blind.

If this were your husband and you found out about his mistress, what would you do? Maybe you would put up with it and say it is okay and "see how things go".

Wake up. How can you leave this man? Easy. Do not, under any circumstances, be there for him. Do not answer the phone, an email, a tect message, or a knock on the door. Cut off all contact from him and force yourself to not contact him either. Then get the rest of your life off the shelf and back into living.

You have cheated yourself for almost three years into believing this man really cared for you. He cares allright, he cares that his booty call is still there waiting for his whim and fancy. Just ask yourself this - he cheats on his wife and family - who else does he cheat with beside you? IF, by the sheer stroke of luck, this man would leave his family for you, you can bet he would be out and about cheating on you. Also, he would most likely be as poor as a mouse and need you to support him. His wife's attorney will make sure he is picked clean. Between alimony and child support and property, so much wonderful things to look forward for you and this guy.

This is the truth. Unvarnished. The real deal.

Please take back yourself respect and make a new beginning for yourself. You do deserve to be treated better, by a man who only has you in his life and not afraid to show it.

Good luck.

I don't what to not answer his phone calls. I told him no before.

You do not pick up the phone. You let the phone ring. Walk away when the phone rings. Leave the apt or house if you have to. Shut the ringer off so you do not hear the ringing. Sooner or later he WILL get the idea.

You can write him and tell him that you will not be his entertainment any longer. Tell him that if he does contact you, you will expose him. Go to the police and tell them that you had the affair, you broke it off, and this man is harassing you now. Get tough with the s.o.b. Want me to come and help you? I would, for free.

I can not do that cause I'm good with his people and some hoildays and birthday I will have to see him so all of that is can not do. Sorry

First I think you need to learn how to write properly or a bit better. Your writing is horrible and I'm sorry but I want to give some advice but I can't understand anything your saying.

You're a homewrecker, the other women. Your having sex with a married man, you're a bad person and you clearly have no self-worth. If you did you wouldn't have degraded yourself in the first place. Grow up and get your own man. Doubt that will happen any time soon, because a REAL man doesn't want a women like you. Hopefully you'll grow up a bit and make some changes. Then later down the road maybe you'll be worthy of some real love. Other then that I think you deserve to be alone (without a relationship)

If you can't understand why he goes away with HIS family then your clearly in need of some professional help. You may have a screw lose upstairs. I suggest getting some help from someone professionally because they can help you understand what clearly your not. Also, they may be able to teach you better speech. Good luck. You need it. Ohh, and what goes around comes around. Years from now, if you get married and think life is good, I bet your husband will be out having sex with a women... then you'll feel tough love. Watch out for Karma, kicks you in the ars.

ok, what should i do , should i seat him down a tell him scent it does not look like they thing are not going will for me with use my be we should end it before someone should get hurt.

I'm sorry I really don't understand this at all?

he goes on vacation with his family because he is a married man with a family.
i have no sympathy for you and im not sure you will get much here, maybe because people dont like homewreckers. (thats what you will be known as if this gets out...and it will get out.}
has it sunk in yet? im not getting at you, i dont know you, you can sleep with whomever you like, but at least make it a single man and not somebody elses husband.
he says "lets see how it goes" to keep you sweet for the next sex session he has with you, think about it, if he turned round and told you he is never going to leave his wife for you, you are not exactly gonna put out for him are you?
Im guessing he has also told you that him and his wife dont sleep together anymore/shes put on weight/they are not compatible/they fight a lot/he has to stay with her for (insert excuse here).....
call him, tell him you either want him with you perminantly, full time, by the end of next week or you will walk away, im betting you never hear from him again.
at least think of his wife in all this, as its bloody obvious nobody else is. how would you feel if your husband was out sneaking around in another womans bed?
what goes around comes around....if you are dishing it, at least know if you can take it when it happens to you.

I went around with a married man and you can never know their intentions... but am glad I got out of it pretty quickly than I assumed I would, though I was married too... but knew what I was doing was unethical... each to his own... and when I thought of his wife, I wondered what she would go through if she ever got to know... think about other people involved and not always about yourself.

This is what I wrote the last person told me that I should not answer his phone call and if he keeps calling to call the police. And I said I can not do that because I'm cool with the family and we have some of the same friends and I would have to see him on holidays and birthdays.

And to RAYNEFREAK I don't need help I understand why his is going on vacation so you are miss reading what I'm writing so thank you. Look who is call themselves a freak.

I think you are very vulnerable. I believe you are in love and in your heart of hearts you know exactly what is going on. Do you know if his wife knew what you guy's were up to he would LEAVE you in a heart beat! That's not love. If you like sitting in the cheap seats and observing this and playing the part then go ahead, but you are in a lose lose situation. Don't get me wrong though... He loves you, and cares for you and would be really jealous if you hooked up with someone else. Just so you know that is an obsession that never works out. I bet you are pretty, are you English or do you have another background?
I think you could do better, you have to face the facts that it's not going to end well. Rent "sidewalks of new york" that's a good movie to show you the inevitable outcome of an affair with the family man. Raynefreak... That was a harsh comment to post on here about litteracy, people can understand her even if you can't. It's a site for people of all educations and languages, I admire her for reaching out and asking questions even if there is a endless book of excuses to stay with the user.

and to RAYNEFREAK i don't need help i understand why his is going on vacation so you are miss reading what im writing so thank you. Look who is call themself a freak.


I think your completely childish. You clearly can't take constructive criticism. As for my name, I'm not calling myself a freak. Show's how little you know about people. Why do you call yourself Help? Because you need it? Come on, childish comment's. Their's nothing wrong with getting help from someone or talking to someone. I think that was a cheap shot, and for the record the name stems from a video game called BloodRayne. I don't know about you, but I play video games like an adict. Good luck to you. I think you took my words too out of context. Merely was advice. Take it or leave it.

Yeah I'm in the same boat only I'm new to it... ive been seeing a married man for 3 months and I already don't know what to do... 3 years is a long time though... and its not all your fault or my fault... and its not all about sex either... its so confusing... im very curious to know what happens...

Bottom line, you are postitioning yourself where you are not wanted. A commitment has been made this man and his wife. You have no business in this relationship.
You don't know what to do? Leave him alone. Respect the commitment of marriage. What goes around comes around. Some day you will know the pain that you are causing his wife. It's not pretty.

As for anyone else that is doing the same thing - the same advice applies. Get out and find a man of your own.

How to breαk things off with α mαrried mαn?

eαsy: BREAK IT OFF, NIP IT IN THE BUD, CUT HIM OFF- simple αs thαt
God you αlreαdy complicαted things αlreαdy by sleeping with α mαrried mαn now your mαking it even more by trying to find α wαy how to do it.. you mαde the decision so DO IT αnd leαve αll mαrried men αlone thαts why they αre mαrried, tαken, keep-your-dirty-hαnds-off, in other words "don't be α homewrecker"

Dear Help82: You just need to stop. You need to stop taking all calls. You need to suffer through the pain of this loss. You need to let your heart break and then mend. You must do this. Otherwise, this affair could continue for many more years. Your entire life could be spent on waiting to "see how things go." He's dangling a carrot in front of you. Recognize it for what it is.

I've been where you are. I was in an affair with a coworker for almost two years. I finally got the courage to end it. It was not easy but it had to be done. I'm now in a phone sex affair with a married man. I know, I have some issues. I think the women who get involved with married men have rock-bottom self-esteem with a broken moral compass. We need to work on our physical self-image as well as our spirits. Anyway, enough about me.

Please heed everyone's advice. Get out. Just end it. Rip the bandage off. Put yourself first. He is putting himself first. Then his wife and kids. Then you. Actually, you're probably after his job and house and yard and pets. You might not even be in his top ten. I don't mean to be cruel but that's how it is. I was there, so I know. You mean NOTHING to him except for some convenient sex. You're a diversion from the stresses of his day. You're a break from the wife/kids/bills.

You're worth more than this. Clean up your life and good things will happen to you.

Greg first off I didn't think what I said was that horrible. I was trying to point out that sleeping with a married man is wrong and it makes you look bad to people. Making them not feel very good about you. Might have been a bit harsh, but I didn't understand her words. Sure I do typo's too, but I understand what I'm saying and hardly ever do I get bad reports about it. I was trying to also help her try to write better. Every post I write is my opnion and weither you think its ''extreame'' or not, doesn't matter. I'm not going to butter up anything. Why lie? All I ever do on here is help, so where are you coming from? I ask things every so often, but I don't have too many questions to ask. I'd rather give advice. Which I do all the time, and do a damn good job at it I think. I think you need to re-examine your statement. I just posed a question a day ago about ''my issues''. Plus, who said it's a race? It's not, get over yourself. If you don't like my answer this time, OK whatever. Doesn't matter. Today's just not a very agreeable day, oh well. Move on tomorrow might be. I'm not hurt at all by your words, I think your being childish for getting so mad in the first place. I liked my advice and sorry but this time, I'm not changing them or saying sorry for it.--oh an I never said I can spell that great. But at least its understandable.

Amen thank you Now What!

help82, I thought you came here for help to get away from this married man, but since from your comments that is not the case why are you here, and what is it your looking for??

I can not do that cause im good with his people and some hoildays and birthday i will have to see him so all of that is can not do. sorry


So basically you do not want to end this relationship.

Then don't pretend that you do.

You are having an affair with a married man.

Who does not spend his vacactions with you.
He is with his wife and children... and that's where he should be.

Helloooo, wake up.


Married man.
Married.
With another woman.

Married men are a piece of crap and so r women(including me! ) who get into it... u need to wake up and do introspection just the way I did... before it's too late.

Married men are a piece of crap and so r women(including me!!) who get into it...u need to wake up and do introspection just the way I did....before it's too late.


Ok so are you callling all married men crap? Better NOT be, my fiancé and I will be married soon and he'd NEVER do anything to hurt me. Visa versa. He is not crap and I'm sorry, but watch you say. He's a good man, just because some men are douches doesn't men all are. That statement could be offensive to some of the men and women on this site.

Ok so are u callling all married men crap? Better NOT be, my fiance and i will be married soon and he'd NEVER do anything to hurt me. Visa versa. He is not crap and im sorry, but watch you say. He's a good man, just because some men are douches doesn't men all are. That statement could be offensive to some of the men and women on this site.

Please don't read in between lines, first I never said"ALL", secondly, I put a joke on myself too... so take easy... I really hope and wish that you and your fiancé live happy together... GOD BLESS...

Though I have never had an affair, I have worked with couples that have. I am pretty convinced that "sex" is definitely not the only reason that someone has an affair.

When someone's needs aren't being met in their current relationship, they seek elsewhere. This tends to be sex a lot, but it is oftentimes just the emotional part of the relationship that is lacking. Both men and women need to have emotional attachment in a relationship. When it is not present, people turn to neighbors, co-workers, the internet, old flings, and friends. It is just easier to do this. Relationships are broken up emotionally because some people can't cope with everyday stresses very well. In an affair, you don't have the normal everyday stresses that come with a committed relationship. You don't generally have to worry about finances together, or kids, or fighting about where to squeeze the tube of toothpaste. These kinds of things put stress on relationships and instead of working these things out, people take the easy route and look to fulfill their needs elsewhere.

Affairs are not normal relationships. They are novel. They are different from everyday life. I have also heard that they are very exciting. In most cases, however, they would not be able sustain the hardships of a "real" committed relationship.

He is having an affair with you because you are giving him something that he is not getting from his marriage. You are not in a committed relationship with him. You are in a convenient relationship with him. You are looking for help because this affair relationship isn't giving you the things that a normal committed relationship usually gives, and you feel this void. This is a void that you cannot fill with this guy.

You are only getting out of this relationship what he isn't giving his wife, and nothing more. This is convenient for him. You are just fulfilling his needs. Many people seek out committed relationships because we need them, but we find ourselves finding happiness in a relationship by focusing on the other person's needs and trying our best to make them happy.

This man is not trying to make you happy. He is not focusing on your needs. He doesn't need anything from you that he is getting from his wife. You need to realize that he most likely does not care about your needs. If you feel like he is focusing on your needs, I would probably say that he is fooling you into thinking this. He knows that you need to feel certain things from him to keep you going for 3 years +, and he is manipulating you.

You need to find a relationship where your man is genuinely concerned for you and your needs. This is true happiness in a committed relationship.

Good luck and I hope you run from this man, and let him try to fix his marriage (which, by the way, can't get better until you take off).

I don't believe help 82 will be coming back on here. I believe she was probably pushed out by rude people who made her feel very little. It was a sad sight. How are you Auttajasi?

I don't know if it was the "rude" people or the fact that no one was telling her what she wanted to hear. When advice was given - she had an answer as to why it wouldn't work. I got the impression that she had to intention to ever leave this man and wanted someone to tell her it was okay.

There is a fine line between being rude and giving good advice. Not sure if this line was crossed in this question or not. Some people get offended very easily and some can take a whole lot of "you suck." Hope she hasn't left for good.

Greg, what do you think was said to her to make her leave? Who said it?
Hey! I just realized that your initials are GQ. Nice. Very slick. Good to hear from you again too.

I think its hard not to answer a question like this without being a little rude especially when the people answering may be victims of an affair its hard for us not to blow up at people like the op. It's a pretty sensitive subject. I think she only intends to go after what she wants no matter if it hurts the children or wife or not. She doesn't care.

Ah... We better not get into it. But she is in a very tough place and some women are vulnerable to guy's that are married. I could never imagine cheating on my wonderful lady but I could only imagine how this guy plays with that girls mind. But enough said! So many of my posts have been removed from here in defence of that girl "not her decisions" I better let it go. Auttajassi!! I hope your little one is as healthy as mine, I have a post in my history box I would love for you to read... It's "cleanliness of vagina" I think... It is one of the funniest post's I have ever seen. Read it all the way down, and get back to me if you agree it's great.
Oh yeah,"MY INITIALS" GQ It's a good thing I'm amazingly gorgeous. LOL JK

First i think you need to learn how to write properly or a bit better. Your writting is horrible and im sorry but i want to give some advice but i can't understand anything your saying.

Your a homewrecker, the other women. Your having sex with a married man, your a bad person and you clearly have no self-worth. If you did you wouldn't have degraded yourself in the first place. Grow up and get your own man. Doubt that will happen any time soon, because a REAL man doesn't want a women like you. Hopefully you'll grow up a bit and make some changes. Then later down the road maybe you'll be worthy of some real love. Other then that i think you deserve to be alone (without a relationship)

If you can't understand why he goes away with HIS family then your clearly in need of some professional help. You may have a screw lose upstairs. I suggest getting some help from someone professionally because they can help you understand what clearly your not. Also, they may be able to teach you better speech. Good luck. You need it. Ohh, and what goes around comes around. Years from now, if you get married and think life is good, i bet your husband will be out having sex with a women...then you'll feel tough love. Watch out for Karma, kicks you in the ars.


This is the way you help someone , bashing them. Sounds like you need help!!
She is not a bad person... Love will come your way one day. Try to move on with your life... don't listen to this?? Sound like this person needs to grow up. Maybe her husband has been cheating on her.

Married men with dating them everyone has the right to there own opinion on how it look to others and how they feel you may feel about yourself, but the reflection really falls back on the man who stood in church and accepted vows before God, we as people get mislead all the time into things that we should not pursue, but everything in life happens for a reason, it may be a growth process in your life at that point, through Christ Jesus it's wrong and no sin is greater than the next, I feel within myself that the married guy really lack character for one the lies are never ending once you tell one lie you have to keep covering up for the next one and the next one, as women we cannot be nieve, you as a person have to find a way to build up strength to move forward how will God Bless you with the man of your dreams if your in that stand still in your life, it is a brighter day ahead, take advance of the purpose God has planned for you, and believe me it is not to be with him! God Bless each and everyone of you who reads this, take care!