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View Full Version : My sisters adoption.


victoria_mitchell
Jun 5, 2007, 09:53 AM
My sister had her baby at 8:49am it is now 9:35am. This is her 3rd baby and she turned 17 in February... Her first baby shae gave up for adoption her second one she kept and this one she gave up for adoption as well. When people ask me, "Is your sister keeping the baby?" I tell them the truth "No, she is giving it up for adoption." the comments that follow that statement are mean rude hateful and disgusting "Your sister gets around!" "She's stupid she should keep it" "Anyone in their right minds would have kept the baby" "I'm surprised your not pregnant yet" "Ewww!" "Gross!" "I'm glad I'm not her sister" etc etc etc

SHUT UP!!

Nobody knows what it's like to have to deal with this crap! You think I like waking up and knowing that I NEVER got to meet 2 of my nephews? You think I like the fact that my baby sister has 3 kids? Honestly? Maybe people think I LIKE hearing them bag on my sister when they don't even know her?? My sister is NOT a $lut! She's NOT a bad person! She's a bigger better stronger person then any of you, or I, can ever comprehend! There are so many things about my sister that these "peopel" look right past or don't even know about her... She's funny and bubbly and happy, she's a great mom, she's a wonderful friend, she's so selfless, she's caring and kind and giving...

WHY DO PEOPLE CHOOSE TO BE SO IGNORANT? What is wrong with our society today that people have no sympathy or compassion towards someone that are in a harder spot then they are?

Does anyone out there know where I am coming from? Does anyone care what we have turned into as a culture and society?:mad:

LadyB
Jun 5, 2007, 10:06 AM
Although there is no need to be rude about it, or make snide comments to you, I think people are confused as to why a young girl continues to have babies when she cannot care for them. The easiest thing to do is not share information with people who are likely to make ignorant or rude comments, and if they do say something cut them off with "I love my sister and don't want to hear you criticize her".

I know I deeply care about our culture and society, including why a 17 year old who is sexually active doesn't seem to be using birth control.

victoria_mitchell
Jun 5, 2007, 10:08 AM
She was on birthcontrol when she got pregnant except for the first time...

Tuscany
Jun 5, 2007, 10:14 AM
Some people do not know how to voice their concern in an appropriate way. I agree with the above post. Let your feeling be known, let people know that you don't like it when people talk poorly of your sister. But be sure to do it in a mature fashion.

LadyB
Jun 5, 2007, 10:23 AM
She was on birthcontrol when she got pregnant except for the first time.....


When a birth control method has proven to be non-effective for a person, whatever the reason, a new method should be considered. Have her discuss the issue and options with her OB/GYN. Hormones plus a barrier method are often the most effective (pill + condom for example), but the new IUDs seem to be safe and effective as well.

startover22
Jun 5, 2007, 01:55 PM
I think the way our culture got this way is by all of us not taking responsibility for our actions!! If she were to stop getting pregnant and stop using adoption for birth control, our society would be a better place. Why would a seventeen year old want to be in this position THREE times. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. Not that we are not compassionate, we just don't like to have our compassion abused! I hope you are going to learn a big lesson from your sister. You have every right to tell someone that you don't want to hear what they have to say about your sister. It shows that you love her. Good luck!

shygrneyzs
Jun 5, 2007, 02:05 PM
Yes your sister got pregnant three times, but in your duplicate post you stated it was the same guy. What is wrong with this guy that he cannot use protection? How old is he? Where has been during all this, besides being there to create the babies? Does he just get to walk away with no responsibility?

LadyB
Jun 5, 2007, 02:21 PM
Wow, may I ask why you posted this in 4 different threads and forums? What answer were you hoping to get?

startover22
Jun 5, 2007, 02:26 PM
Looks like you need to talk to your mom about this. I think she might be able to help! Hugs to you Victoria. You need to talk to your mom, she will explain things to you and you won't feel so bad for your sister. I can tell you are disappointed and she is getting a lot of attention for her bad choices. This is not good attention. Show your family that you can make good choices and be proud of yourself for that! Please respect yourself enough to learn from these mistakes. Good luck

victoria_mitchell
Jun 5, 2007, 03:30 PM
My mother pretends that this never happened and blames me for all of it. So I'm sorry but no I don't think my Mom will help she will only yell scream bad mouth and tear me down which in turn will make things worse and more confusing.

I poster this different times because I know that some people don't go into all the different subject areas (at least I know I don't) and I wanted a wide range of views from a wide range of people.

The father... well... he's my step brother he is 17 he doesn't care if she gets pregnant or not "not my problem", as he has said on many occasions. And he gets away with all of it. My family feels it is my sisters fault not his and his friends just see my sister as a $lut and my innocent brother is just "hormonal"

THE ANSWER I WAS LOOKING FOR

" You're right people suck! I know how you feel because __________________." < your message there.
Funny I haven't gotten anything close to that

shygrneyzs
Jun 5, 2007, 03:38 PM
You cannot help with what happened and you cannot help with what will happen in the future. Chances are your sister will become pregnant again, by the step brother.

What you can do, is to separate yourself from your family and start just taking care of yourself. Let go of all that drives you crazy with your family and just concentrate on yourself. It would be a good time to move, get a different job, and say what is done is done. You have no control over your parents and their lack of understanding for your sister. You have no control over your sister and her bad choices. Same with your step brother.

I'd get out and so far away from it all. Leave them to their lives and get on with yours.

collinsmom
Jun 5, 2007, 04:05 PM
I can relate to the Mom blaming you for everything that has happened. My mother does that to my sister. Mind you, my sister has not made the best choices in her life, but she expects my parents to "clean it up"... and they do. It sounds like your mother is trying to place the blame where it doesn't belong instead of dealing with where it lays... In otherwords, it's easier for her to yell and scream at you instead of confronting your sister and her "boyfriend/step-brother".

Why is it the fathers (or "sperm donor") are not held responsible? It makes me sick that "men" feel that they can just walk away and not look back. I hope things get better for you and your sister. I'm glad she choose adoption!

startover22
Jun 6, 2007, 11:47 AM
My mother pretends that this never happened and blames me for all of it. So I'm sorry but no I don't think my Mom will help she will only yell scream bad mouth and tear me down which in turn will make things worse and more confusing.

I poster this different times because I know that some people don't go into all the different subject areas (at least i know I don't) and I wanted a wide range of views from a wide range of people.

The father.... well..... he's my step brother he is 17 he doesn't care if she gets pregnant or not "not my problem", as he has said on many occasions. And he gets away with all of it. My family feels it is my sisters fault not his and his friends just see my sister as a $lut and my innocent brother is just "hormonal"

THE ANSWER I WAS LOOKING FOR

" You're right people suck! I know how you feel because __________________." < your message there.
Funny I haven't gotten anything close to that

If this is really the case, then yes you need to get as gone as you can and let yourself be a good person with out all of this drama... You owe it to yourself to get out. Give yourself a chance! I am sad to hear that your family is this way. I am very sad. Good luck honey!